Amusing Hollywood Squares Answers

These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares’ game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now!

 

Q: Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?

A: Paul Lynde: Loneliness!

(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes off the show!)

 

Q: If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be

A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

 

Q: True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years…

A: George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

 

Q: You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

A: Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.

 

Q: According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he’s married?

A: Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

 

Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..

 

Q: What are ‘Do It,’ ‘I Can Help,’ and ‘I Can’t Get Enough’?

A: George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.

 

Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?

A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget.

 

Q: Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?

A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

 

Q: Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?

A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries.

 

Q: In bowling, what’s a perfect score?

A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

 

Q: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

A: Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.

 

Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

 

Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?

A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

 

Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..

 

Q: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

 

Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

 

Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A: Charley Weaver: His feet.

 

Q: According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

A: Paul Lynde: Point and laugh