How to know when you’ve met a Democrat

Just in case you have trouble knowing when you’ve met a Democrat, here’s an example of how one man made the determination (situations may differ from time to time, but the basic “signature” seldom varies):

A woman in a hot-air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, “Can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot-air balloon approximately 30 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees 49.09 minutes west longitude.”

She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.”

“I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,’ answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Democrat.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You’ve risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were before we met, but somehow, now, it’s my fault.”