Cannot find the damn file — Ned Martin’s Amused

This page is absolutely fine

This is the file you were asking for. It hasn’t been removed, nor has its name been changed. Everything is completely terrific.

Please try the following:

  • If you wish to look at something more exciting than unchanging black text on a white background; go away.
  • Open www.google.com, and then look for movie spoilers, which-X-are-you quizzes, wil wheaton, etc.
  • Click Screw Everything Up Search to have MSN serve you random URLs.
  • Click Back and keep reading whatever blog you found this on.

 

HTTP 40K - File found
Internet Explorer


This page sucks and cannot be displayed

The page you are looking for sucks and is currently unavailable. The Web site might be experiencing technical difficulties, you may need to adjust your browser settings or it might suck.

Please try the following:

  • Click the Refresh Refresh button, or smash your computer with a large hammer.
  • If you typed the page address in the Address bar, make sure that it is spelled correctly, you stupid idiotic moron.
  • To check your connection settings, open case with a screw driver then, fill with gasoline. Now take a match and proceed to ignite. The settings should match those provided by your local crazy arsonist (LCA) administrator and Internet service provider (ISP).
  • Your Network Administrator is an idiot, Microsoft Windows can examine your network and automatically screw everything up.
    If you would like Windows to screw everything up,
    click Screw Everything Up Screw everything up
  • Some sites require Windows to suck more than normal. Click the Windows menu and then click Windows suck rate to determine what strength "Suck" you have installed.
  • If you are trying to reach a secure site, make sure you are not running Windows. Click the My Computer menu, and then right click Drive C:. On the Menu select "Format".
  • Click the Back button to try another link.

 

HTTP 404 - File not found
http://the-i.org/


This page cannot get laid.

The page you are looking for cannot get laid and so it’s currently unavailable. The Web site might be experiencing gonorrhea, genital warts or may need to put on sexy lingerie and adjust its browser settings.

Please try the following:

  • Ejaculate on the Refresh Refresh button, or try again later after this Web site is drunk.
  • If you typed the page address in the Address bar, make sure that it is spelled correctly and you’re not so damn horny that you left out a letter or two.
  • To check your connection settings, stroke the Tool menu, and then, with your lips and tongue, suck Internet Options. On the Connections tab, dry hump Settings. The settings should match those of a man that’s old, naked and hairy, just like your local area network (PERV) administrator or Internet Service Provider (ASS).
  • If your Netwerk Administrator has fellated it, Microsoft Windows can swallow your network whole and automatically spit its settings upon your stomach.
    If you would like windows to spit upon your stomach so that you can discover your netwerk connection settings,
    click Screw Everything Up Shoot It On My Belly.
  • Some sites require that 128-bit connection security but not this one. We use The Club. Click the Help menu and then click About Internet Explorer if you have trouble looking at porn.
  • If you’re trying to buy vibrators, blow-up dollars, hot oils and such, make sure your Security settings can support it. Stroke the Tool menus, and then suck Internet Options. If you’re more advanced, roll your tongue across the Security section and bark like a dog. Yeah, that’s it. You’re turning me on now.
  • Kiss My Booty to try another link.

 

Cannot find sex partner or STD test
Internet Exploder


The pornography cannot be displayed

The pornography you are looking for is currently unavailable. The Web site might be experiencing titillation difficulties, or you may need to adjust your trouser settings.

Please try the following:

  • Click the Refresh Refresh button, or try again later.
  • If you typed the age request in the Request bar, make sure that it is legal in your area.
  • To check your erection settings, click the Tool menu, and then click Intimacy Options. On the Erections tab, click Settings. The settings should match those provided by your local orgasm verification engine (LOVE) administrator or primary intimacy management partner (PIMP).
  • If your Orgasm Administrator has enabled it, Microsoft Winblows can examine your network and automatically discover pornographic images.
    If you would like Winblows to try and discover them,
    click Screw Everything Up Detect Pornographic Images.
  • Some sites require 128-bit erection ability. Click the Help menu and then click About Intimacy Equipment to determine what strength genitals you have installed.
  • If you are trying to reach a secure site, make sure your Security settings can support it. Click the Tool menu, and then click Intimacy Options. On the Advanced tab, scroll to the Security section and check settings for Self-Confidence 2.0, Maturity 3.0, Positive Body Image 1.0.
  • Click the Back button to try another link.

 

Cannot find smut or PNS Error
Intimacy Equipment


The porn cannot be displayed

The porn you are looking for is currently unavailable. The Web site might be experiencing difficultes, or your cramped, sticky fingers may have typed in the wrong URL.

Please try the following:

  • Click the Refresh Refresh button, or take a cold shower and try again later..
  • If you typed the page address in the Address bar, make sure that it is spelled correctly. Look closely, as excessive masturbation is known to affect vision.
  • To check your connection settings, click the Tools menu, and then click Internet Options. On the General tab, click Settings. Then click View Files and delete all those cookies from the sex sites you have been leering at before your local area network (LAN) administrator, boss, spouse, children, paraents, or significant other discovers what a pathetic little pervert you are.
  • If your Network Administrator has enabled it, Microsoft Windows can examine your network and automatically discover dirty pictures.
    If you would like Winblows to try and discover them,
    click Screw Everything Up Detect Dirty Pictures.
  • Some porn sites require money. It is recommended to use someone else’s credit card, but for that kind of jack, it’s probably cheaper to drag your pale, pasty carcass to a nudie bar and look at real sluts. Warning - There is no sex in the Champagne Room.
  • If you are trying to reach a secure site, make sure your Security settings can support it. Click the Tools menu, and then click Internet Options. On the Advanced tab, scroll to the Security section and check settings for SSL 2.0, SSL 3.0, -Ohnever mind! You don’t know what you’re doing. You might as well bust open your weird uncle’s footlocker he stached in the crawlspace and look at his vintage 1950’s nudist magazine collection.
  • Click the Back button to try another skanky site..

 

Cannot find smut or DNS Error
Internet Explorer


These Weapons of Mass Destruction cannot be displayed

The weapons you are looking for are currently unavailable. The country might be experiencing technical difficulties, or you may need to adjust your weapons inspectors mandate.

Please try the following:

  • Click the Refresh Regime Change button, or try again later.
  • If you are George Bush and typed the country’s name in the address bar, make sure that it is spelled correctly. (IRAQ).
  • To check your weapons inspector settings, click the UN menu, and then click Weapons Inspector Options. On the Security Council tab, click Consensus. The settings should match those provided by your government or NATO.
  • If the Security Council has enabled it, The United States of America can examine your country and automatically discover Weapons of Mass Destruction.
    If you would like to use the CIA to try and discover them,
    click Screw Everything Up Detect Weapons.
  • Some countries require 128 thousand troops to liberate them. Click the Panic menu and then click About US foreign policy to determine what regime they will install.
  • If you are an Old European Country trying to protect your interests, make sure your options are left wide open as long as possible. Click the Tools menu, and then click on League of Nations. On the Advanced tab, scroll to the Head in the Sand section and check settings for your exports to Iraq.
  • Click the Bomb button if you are Donald Rumsfeld.

 

Cannot find weapons or CIA Error
Iraqi Explorer


The Page Cannot Be Displayed Because You Need Some Fresh Air

The page you are looking for is currently unavailable. Your ISP has told us that you’e online several hours every day, and that just ain’t right.

Please, for the love of god, try the following:

  • Don’t click the Refresh Refresh button. Go outside now.
  • If you are about to spend another $100 at Amazon, then please contact Amazon Anonymous.
  • To go outside, first click the Cyber Hypnosis menu, and then click Cold Water in the Face. On the Numb Ass tab, click Sedentary Back Pain. The Get Out of Your Chair settings should match those provided by your local area network (LAN) administrator.
  • If your Evil Computer Addict Persona has enabled it, we can examine your network and quickly discover a way to wake you up from your computer-induced stupor.
  • If you would like Windows to try and disocver them,
    click Screw Everything Up Detect Computer-Induced Stupor.
  • There are a host of things awaiting you in the outside world: fishing, skiing, skeep shooting, triatholons, PTA meetings, and dentist appointments, for example.
  • If you are unable to get up, click here and your power strip will emit a large enough shock to scare you back to your senses. If that doesn’t work, then we give up. You are officially in need of serious help. Dial 1-800-GET-HELP on your computer’s keypay to reach a mental hospital near you.
  • Click the Back button to melt your computer.

 

Cannot find reality files
Internet Explorer