March 2005 (Month View – Displaying Summary)

 

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01.01.2005 – Saturday 1 January – The Year of Bronwen

3:02am

• That just made my day – I have just got home from the New Year’s celebrations at the Lion’s Den and Bronwen just phoned to give me the long-distance version of a New Year’s kiss. There’s not much more I could want – apart from, I guess, my own personal flying saucer (or TARDIS, if they’re out of stock), unlimited lifetime supply of chocolate (with complimentary free dental cover), and Bronwen herself.

Day

• I had to go to the Den to pick up Mum, so I did. I then didn’t have to do anything, so I also did.

Evening

• Jade and Ella came over and we spent some time talking about things and so forth.

Comment by Maz – Saturday 1 January 2005, 2:58 PM

  I'm back now... did you all miss me? I have some ideas for random things to do at uni which I will go write down shortly. Hi kathryn.
  Maz

Comment by Ned – Sunday 2 January 2005, 1:55 AM

  Welcome back. I hope you didn’t get sunburnt.

Comment by io – Sunday 2 January 2005, 2:28 AM

  Hi Maz.

Comment by kathryn – Sunday 2 January 2005, 4:31 PM

  Hi Maz.

02.01.2005 – Sunday 2 January – Mum’s Birthday

Morning

• I phoned Sarah and had a short chat to ensure Mum’s birthday present was on schedule, and then had a stupid argument with Mum, about almost nothing, which made me (and her, presumably) feel bad. I then got over that and decided it wasn’t realistic to go back to Brisbane tomorrow, particularly seeing as I’ve nothing at all to do down there until uni starts (as opposed to the nothing at all I have to do up here until uni starts and I have to go back down there). I then gave Mum a little birthday present, and suddenly ended this paragraph.

Afternoon

• Inline with my resolution to go outside and do nothing when it’s not raining, rather than not go outside and do nothing, I walked up to Dad’s, but he wasn’t home, so I figured that was a good excuse to say I’d fulfilled my resolution and could now go back inside. This was a good plan, but just as I’d showered and got myself the last of my birthday cake and swum it in cream, Jade, Shan, Ella and Kylie turned up. They wanted to know if I wanted to go to the den for pizza, which I did. It ends up they were just going there to pick up pizza and take it back out to Home Rule, so I ended up out there, and to cut an otherwise longer paragraph shorter, stayed the night.

03.01.2005 – Monday 3 January – Jade’s Birthday

• I woke up before anyone else, so went for a bit of a wander down the creek until people began to wake, at which time we went for a swim in the dam, made a birthday cake, and then Shan and Kylie dropped me back home. I then made the mistake of drinking several glasses of strong apple juice. Apparently, not eating anything other than a small slice of cream cheese all day, and then drinking lots of apple juice, is bad for one’s short-term health.

Evening

• I went for a short and leisurely walk, due to aforementioned apple juice, and then drove up to Dad’s to arrange tomorrow.

04.01.2005 – Tuesday 4 January – Clint’s Birthday

• Continuing the trend of birthdays – today is Clint’s birthday. He’s now lacking a digital preamp as well. Mum and I went to town, dropping Dad off at Sue’s as she’s going away and he’s housesitting there again, and that’s about all I can say here about today.

Comment by Kieran Jacobsen – Friday 7 January 2005, 2:43 PM

  Can i get authorization?

05.01.2005 – Wednesday 5 January – Caught Dogs & Vampires

• I woke up early – I had a few things on my mind. Today has been awfully hot. Sarah phoned while Mum was at work, asking me to get Mum to phone her back urgently. Shan arrived and we drove up the mountain to pick up some bike parts. Shan and I got my new hard drive and took it up to his place to test. It works on his computer. I left a note for Mum, which she didn’t read. Sarah phoned and left a message. The phone inside broke – the buttons don’t work. Mum got Sarah’s message. Mum phoned Sarah. Sarah was angry that I hadn’t given Mum her message. Mum phoned Shan. Shan gave the phone to me. I talked to Mum. Shan drove me home. I drove to Cooktown. I went to the council. I spoke to Matt the Dogcatcher. I picked up Grunt and Roden(t). I took them to their home. I tied them up and gave them biscuits. I found some jellybeans in the fridge. I sat in front of the fan. I bought a milkshake. I dropped in at Sue’s and watched a Godzilla movie with Dad. I went for my evening walk but nearly died of heat exhaustion, and only went halfway. My head pounded for a while from the hot and seeing didn’t feel good so I had a long shower. I discovered that vampires do exist, albeit mortally, and that drinking your own blood leads to a weaker immune system. Happy in this knowledge, I went to bed.

Comment by io – Thursday 6 January 2005, 1:48 AM

  That's a lot of eyes.. Even for eye-oh.

06.01.2005 – Thursday 6 January – Peachy & Cooktown

Day

• It’s once again hot, and once again, I’m off to town. I drove Mum to work and picked dad up from Sue’s, went and checked that Sarah’s dogs were still alive, bought gas, sat in the Top Pub for a little while, ate half a plate of nachos, and drove back to the Den. I went for a swim at the Den, or more accurately, lazed around in the water, and then drove Mum home. I’ve since discovered that I need to install a service pack to get support for hard drives greater than 137 GB, but getting a service pack via this slow dialup connection isn’t very feasible.

Night

• Shan is downloading XP’s service pack two for me, it’s finally cooled down a little, dinner was nice, I spoke to Bronwen for a couple of hours, and I don’t need to get up at any particular time tomorrow, so it’s looking peachy.

Comment by Kieran Jacobsen – Friday 7 January 2005, 2:42 PM

  What os? my xp machine doesnt have a sp's (well didn't) and i haven't got any hdd issues.

Comment by Ned – Friday 7 January 2005, 4:53 PM

  I will try installing SP2 tonight or tomorrow and see how it goes.

07.01.2005 – Friday 7 January – Joneses & Unusual Contractions

Day

• I was woken by Jean, calling to give a message to Julie, which I dutifully delivered. I then had a quiet morning, relaxing and rejuvenating from my distastefully early waking, before Shan and Kylie dropped over to drop off a CD with service pack two for XP on it, and we went out to Home Rule for a swim, where I ended up spending the evening.

Night

• There’s a form of contraction where the first two letters of a word are kept, and all the ones in the middle replaced with a number representing how many letters were replaced – the shortened form of “internationalisation” (except normally with a zed, zee, I mean), “i18n”, is the most famous of these. I was discussing the web and web standards, someone said w3c, I said n7n... it all began as an embarrassingly geeky joke, but it occurred to me that n7n.org is an easy to say, easy to remember, very short, and even symmetrical, domain name – and a suitably geeky contraction of nedmartin.org – so I went and checked its availability. n7n.com and n7n.net were both already registered, and I could sense a veritable horde of desirous internet users swarming to steal away my domain before I could get it, so I registered it – in my defence, it was very late at night. I haven’t yet thought of a reason, but I’m now the proud owner of n7n.org – complete with catchy slogan “I am not a geek, I am an artiste”. I was impressed with the speed of registration too – the domain was setup and resolving to my server within ten minutes of me purchasing it.

Comment by Mum – Saturday 29 January 2005, 8:19 PM

  Holy mackeral, he is an artiste? n7n.org Son reduced to initials and number. Goodo. I think. I am still struggling with the intricacies of using phone. Dial...er...um...and press..er ...um. Okay until one has to speak. Okay, international know now that n7n.org hath a mother who is phone shy and still thinketh that this or that button on compewteur is either "the ejector seat" or "The Bombe". Ooer. Look askance at the groaning thing and press this and that with a rod, with eyes Wide Shut. You think I exaggerate? Heh, heh. Asketh n7n.org.

08.01.2005 – Saturday 8 January – Spider Web

• Today a spider built a web to my nose while I was sitting at my computer. I think this is an indication that the spider had been inside in front of the computer for too long.

Night

• I am VERY ANGRY and having a SHOCKINGLY BAD NIGHT. Everything is pissing me off. My chair sucks. The pillow sucks. Everything sucks. KILL KILL KILL ANGER ANGER ANGER. I’d go to bed but my bed sucks, my sheets suck, there’s guaranteed to be wrinkles, it will become tangled, and everything will go wrong. Ok, I’m better now. The light drizzle is quite pleasant. This music isn’t too bad either.

Comment by B. – Monday 10 January 2005, 1:05 PM

  May one ask what induced this little bout of aggression? I know having anyone walk all over you sucks (that the said someone is only a centimetre tall could add to the putdown). But hardly justification.

Comment by Ned – Monday 10 January 2005, 2:04 PM

  One may.

Comment by Mum – Saturday 29 January 2005, 8:28 PM

  Tch tch. Temper, temper. A loud bout of mowing WEt Season rabid lawn-growth in the early morn shall shut up mouth of The Precious Thing/Brat. Flaming well hope so......Sigh.ned, distraughtouuthrourt Madroni,mater. ma. sigh.(Hope so ALL of youze read this....so It, of the tantrums doth it...lawnmowing, sweat etc) Etc

09.01.2005 – Sunday 9 January – Online

• I had planned to, but because of something, didn’t. Needless to say,

Comment by Mum – Saturday 29 January 2005, 8:30 PM

  Yes, um , yes.....needless to say

10.01.2005 – Monday 10 January – Dentistically Woeful

Morning

• I drove into town, queued for a while, and returned mentally debilitated. In other words, I went to the dentist. Dentists are a guaranteed cure for those not already valetudinarily inclined.

Night

• I ended up staying at the Den until they shut, picking up Dad on his way back from Sue’s, and trying to comprehend the seemingly unfathomable linked horseshoes and their ring.

Comment by Mum – Saturday 29 January 2005, 8:34 PM

  Is easy. Just have to fang the upright thing onto the downright and then do a simple twist nd at same time to do a sort of righthand semblance whilst holding the upright and also the round sway at half knots and stand on your head and imbibe 3 Jim Beams and swear, Lots. Is total easy. I canna sae that Oi have dunnit, mon, but oi have tried, begorrah. Oh, yessuh.

11.01.2005 – Tuesday 11 January – Cooktown, Kickboxing & Goldfish

• I walked up to Shan’s, taking the CD with service pack two on it. It doesn’t work on his computer either, so I guess it’s corrupt. We then tried burning it again, and once again, it was corrupt, so we tried with a different brand of CD, and even tried burning random other files and they’re all corrupt too. I guess something has gone wrong at his end.
  Jade, Shan, Kylie, Ella and I all went to town, where we did some shopping and ate at the Mad Cow before Shan and Kylie went to kickboxing training. I had a short chat to Sarah, walked down the wharf with Jade and Ella, and watched Kylie and Shan fall over several times during training. We then went and picked up three goldfish, one of which is black and one of which has very large bulging eyes, and a largish fish tank. Ella had to carry the goldfish in a bucket between her legs all the way home, which was mildly amusing at the time.

12.01.2005 – Wednesday 12 January – The School of Rock

Day

• Today started normally, had a reasonable middle, and ended badly. I slept in, as per usual. It was actually sunny when I woke, so after the obligatory period online, I went for a walk out to the halfway spot, took some photos, and walked back to the Home Rule Bridge where I lay on a rock with my shirt over my head, not noticing the dark clouds until it began to pour on me. It stopped raining a few minutes later, by which time I was soaked and had just finished navigating the rocks back to the road. It’s surprisingly difficult to walk on slippery rocks just under the water’s surface when it’s raining – the water becomes almost opaque from the rain hitting it. Fortunately, the camera’s case is mostly waterproof.

Night

• I walked up to Dad’s and discussed baby birds, fallen trees, and lawnmowers – before stumbling home just before it got too dark, trying vainly to avoid the sharp rocks they try to make us believe is gravel. I saw the moon framed through a gap in the trees – just a sliver, but the whole outline was visible. It was very beautiful, but being male, logical, and Bronwenless, I wondered why sometimes the whole moon can be seen even when it’s nowhere near full.
  Shan messaged me as I was eating dinner, making me eat faster so I could drive up to his place in time to watch “Cold Mountain”, which doesn’t come out until tomorrow, so we ended up watching “The School of Rock” instead. I then made the mistake of checking my email, where I discovered disturbing news, so came home earlier than I might have otherwise. Now I don’t feel fantastic and can’t sleep.

13.01.2005 – Thursday 13 January – The Day before Tomorrow

• I have concluded that I think too much – but thinking that didn’t help me. I’m also going to take Damian’s lead, and refer to it as “a tendency to intellectualise everything”, which makes much more sense than “thinking too much”, and sounds like a better attribute to boast. Besides, the words are longer, and long words make me superior. Back to more immediate matters – not sleeping last night means I’m tired, and tomorrow I lose most of my lower jaw, but looking to the brighter side of life for a moment – Bronwen is the nicest girl I’ve ever met, and for incomprehensible and presumably erroneous reasons, likes me.

Do

• They say there are doers and thinkers, so I thought I’d think about doing – do, does, doest, dost, doth, doeth, did, done, didst, doing, done, didn’t, doesn’t, don’t, dae, dinna, disna... and it was at this point that I stopped thinking, because I’m in denial of any Scottish heritage I may have, without admitting I do.

Comment by Mum – Saturday 29 January 2005, 8:46 PM

  Argh. Cannae resist wroiting somethink, mon. Bronwen, a nice Scottish name, obviously has foine taste. Dunnae wot the gel is gunna dew with your foine self withart yer lower half of lower jaw. Must be love if she is game to take yer foine self on without yer lower jar, mon.

14.01.2005 – Friday 14 January – El Dentista

• Cooktown through the dust, like a dimly lit vision, preceded the dentist, aching jaw and tightly clenched fists. Heavy road construction equipment within one’s headspace decries gaiety, while jowl distension precipitates an inane stupidity.

11:30am

• El dentista says that while he could probably fix my teeth, it would be a long, painful, and expensive process and still might not work, so he recommends I get the lot pulled and get dentures instead. I am not sure what to do, because he says it risks drastically altering my facial expression, and I might require facial reconstruction after. That’s what I worried anyway – the truth isn’t quite as exciting.

Evening

• On the way home, it occurred to me how much it has changed up here. It wasn’t that long ago that anyone I met on the road would wave – now very few do. It’s been ages since anyone died from a duel or anyone got off murder because everyone petitioned in support of raw justice, although I did hear of a petition just the other week. It’s fast becoming like any other place, except we don’t need vehicle roadworthy certificates and the road rules are nicely summed up by “drive according to prevailing conditions”.

• Science must have been far more interesting when you could choose between being a plenist or a vacuist. Now the terms are more suited to the study of psychology than anything else – expect perhaps the great blonde debate.

Night

• I phoned Angie, and then Silas, after getting back from my walk. He’s now in Cairns. I then gave Mum my present, before phoning Bronwen for two and a half hours or so, breaking my newly made policy of not phoning after midnight. I went to bed at a quarter to three.

Comment by Mum – Saturday 29 January 2005, 8:55 PM

  Plenist or vacuist. Flaming heck., what does this mean? And yes, we still wave to all maniacs who are so foolish as to have a go at trevasssssssssing the goat track in The Wet. Is always a potential comedy( one can only laugh whilst going darnthetrack sideways) but is okay ...The Den (Lions Den HOtel) is a healthy 400,000 miles away. Yeah, okay , I exaggerate, but if you think I exaggerate...............The Wet EXAGGERATES. And I mean, ....really....10 inches overnight is pipsqueak and to be just mildly laughed at.

15.01.2005 – Saturday 15 January – Flights & Music

Forenoon

• I booked my flights back to Brisbane, after phoning Bronwen and Joe several times, unable to get through to either, although Bronwen did eventually phone back.

Afternoon

• I drove up to Shan’s, got the second part of service pack two for XP, extracted it, and protractedly installed it with many delays due to it spending ages doing stuff before checking anything logical, such as available free space. I’m amazed to find that my hard drive now works – I didn’t even need to rescan it, it just works. This also means that I’ve bought another hard drive for no real purpose – I might use it as a sort of nearline backup. It’s nice having some music again – I was getting a bit sick of the variety I had to choose from – it was either the sound of people dying violently and with a great lack of skill, or rap, neither of which I’d stoop low enough to call music. I need to find a player that works well with large amounts of music though, as Winamp is struggling; searching or enqueuing songs is frustratingly slow. Slight aside: the word “enqueue” does not seem to be in any known dictionary.

Comment by DM – Sunday 16 January 2005, 6:31 PM

  dictionary.com has 'enqueue', but then it also has 'dequeue', so I don't think it's a credible source.

Comment by Ned – Monday 17 January 2005, 12:53 AM

  ‘enqueue’ will be in Webster’s New Millennium Dictionary, but is not yet in the OED.

16.01.2005 – Sunday 16 January – Ghosts, Aliens & White Cockatoos

Morning

• I am beginning to think that the morning may just be a social convention without any basis in reality, as it seems extraordinarily difficult to observe one in its natural state.

6:36pm

• I had a bit of an abortive walk this evening. Just as I got to the halfway spot, I heard a strange noise deep from within the dark and gloomy forest, which reminded me of another strange flapping noise I’d heard on the way there. Just as I was reminding myself how I was a macho hero type, not scared of noises emanating from deep within dark and gloomy forests, some large white thing flew through the murky shadowy trees, right above me, and a whole herd of something, or perhaps one very large something, passed overheard disturbing the ominous silence with a strangely powerful flapping. It then occurred to me that I’m actually a sensitive new-age sort of hero, and that, while goblins and ghoulish monsters deep within the earth might be stretching reality a little, aliens probably weren’t, and that it was quite late, quite dark, and only getting darker the further I pressed into the jungle. To cut a short story to the exact length it was going to be anyway, I turned around and went home.

2:17am

• Being in a particularly good mood, having spoken to Bronwen for two hours, I decided that I’d be slack and rather than stay up all night as one should, I would go to bed and dream about her, especially as I was going to be woken horribly early tomorrow by annoying phone calls soliciting donations. Having decided this, I acted promptly and decisively to put my plan into action, or inaction, as the case may be.

Comment by Mum – Saturday 29 January 2005, 9:00 PM

  Is called Owl. Flaps overhead. Frightens. Even macho heroes. Enough said.

17.01.2005 – Monday 17 January – Werewolves & Jalapeños

10:07am

• As predicted last night, I was woken by someone from the Red Cross soliciting donations, and after valiantly fighting to regain my sleep, I was again awoken by someone calling for Mum – so I gave up and here I am, awake, ridiculously early, far before midday.

Afternoon

• I had to disable parts of my site due to a lack of available data transfer, due, I think, to bodge accounting. Shan and Kylie then came around and we went out to Home Rule where we had a swim before heading back to his place to watch a DVD (some not particularly great movie “based on a true story” about werewolves, set in Spain a century or more ago). We then went and got a pizza from the Lion’s Den, which was very nice and very jalapeño hot. Now that I’m no longer on fire, I’m back to relaxing.

Comment by Salman – Thursday 20 January 2005, 9:16 AM

  sir
  i want to download best mirc peace&protection422
  plz send me to easy&free download pnp422 script
  i shall be very thanks full to u
  good bye
  plz mail me

Comment by Ned – Thursday 20 January 2005, 4:37 PM

  It surely cannot be that difficult to find a contact page, other than a journal comment, somewhere on my site – but perhaps it is, so I shall update the page at PnP with a link to one.

18.01.2005 – Tuesday 18 January – Cooktown Unplugged

• Your honour, my client maintains that he only went to town to pay his airfare. He maintains that he checked his mail, finding only a letter from Centrelink, necessitating a call to them tomorrow, before buying nachos from the Mad Cow Café, located within the supermarket complex. He maintains that he ate less than half the nachos, and that his mother ate the rest. My client is adamant that he then walked down to the wharf and sat watching a single small crab and several small yellow and black striped fish, prior to returning to the Mad Cow Café to purchase a standard sized milkshake, chocolate flavoured. My client asserts that he then made his way from the supermarket to Peter’s shop, which he entered and proceeded to converse with the proprietor about job opportunities and the direction he wanted his future to take, until another customer entered the shop. My client maintains that it was at this point that he left Peter’s shop and made his way to the library; however, my client makes it absolutely clear that he did not possess, nor notice, a lead pipe or a candlestick while in the library. Instead, my client spent his time reading a Footrot Flats comic. My client also wishes to make it known that, while he did initially forget to pay his airfare, he did remember before going home, and that it cost him seventy-eight dollars and ninety cents. Furthermore, my client wishes to inform your worship that he spent over an hour on the phone to his girlfriend, during which time he could not have left the conservatory.

Comment by DM – Wednesday 19 January 2005, 3:17 AM

  I appreciate the humour of an eatery calling themselves the Mad Cow Café.

Comment by jojo – Wednesday 19 January 2005, 1:41 PM

  i liked the references to cludeo. very amusing.

Comment by Rhett – Thursday 20 January 2005, 1:00 AM

  On what charge are you defending your client from?

Comment by Ned – Thursday 20 January 2005, 1:16 AM

  Murder in the sixth degree.

Comment by Mum – Saturday 29 January 2005, 9:05 PM

  Living with this super lative wit, is murder

19.01.2005 – Wednesday 19 January – Uni Courses & Babies

• It rained. As a corollary, it was wet. Shan and Kylie dropped in on their way back from looking at some computers, and we had a good chat about all sorts of things. Because today is before tomorrow, but after yesterday, I had decided to do all the things I have been putting off, such as signing on for courses for uni, and billing Graeme.

Uni

• I’m not overly happy with the courses I’ve chosen – I need to discuss some things with an academic advisor, and check out what else is on offer. It ends up that Bronwen has done all the courses I’ve chosen, so I should probably have a talk to her too. I have to do the year long project, although I’d really rather not – but the rest are rather random and I’m not going to consider them serious prospects until I’ve looked into it further.

Comment by Reubot – Monday 24 January 2005, 4:25 PM

  Let me guess - COMP3300 & CSSE3003?

Comment by Reubot – Monday 24 January 2005, 5:47 PM

  Oh wait you did COMP3300 last year....I change that one to COMP3501
  

Comment by Ned – Tuesday 25 January 2005, 12:27 AM

  My choices so far: CSSE3004, COMS4200, INFS3202, PSYC1030 – these are, however, quite likely going to change after I’ve had a chat to an academic advisor.

20.01.2005 – Thursday 20 January – Town, Rain & Passport Photos

• I drove into town, where I got a milkshake and four passport photos. I was supposed to take Dad in, but by the time I woke up, he’d already gone. It rained a lot. I went for my usual evening walk, despite the rain, which proved to be quite nice – there’s a certain solitude around dusk, with the rain throwing a curtain over the rest of the world, and all is silent as the colour of the day fades away. To continue this pleasant mood, I phoned Bronwen, chatting for a few hours and keeping her awake far too late.

21.01.2005 – Friday 21 January – Floods, Shock & Custard

Evening

• It’s been flooding, or trying to, for a while now, and today I finally got to go swimming in it – something I’ve been waiting for, ever since coming up here. Jade, Shan and Kylie drove up to the Home Rule Bridge, from the Home Rule side, and I walked down and met them. The water has gone down a bit now – it was too high to walk across the bridge this morning, but now it can be crossed without too much difficulty. We drove back to Home Rule, patched up some tubes, and jumped in the icy cold creek. Ric, Ella, and three girls from Home Rule also came. One of the younger Home Rule girls had a bit of a rough time, hitting a few trees and submerged logs, and got out before we’d gone too far. The rest of us continued back down to the Home Rule Bridge, and on to Shan’s place. I had a small tube, which made it very unstable, so I fell out a few times – but there’s nothing too bad before Shan’s place, and the worst injury I got was a splinter in my thumb, water in my ear, and a nearly-cramped leg.
  The two remaining Home Rule girls had got a bit knocked about on the journey from the bridge down to Shan’s, falling out on one rapid, so they went home, while the rest of us walked back to the bridge and jumped in again. This time I had a proper sized tube, and we continued towards the ominously named “Black Rock”, over rapids with exciting names like “Popping Rock” and “The Suction”. I went over one rock that tipped me vertically into the white water behind it, where I fell off. It was at the start of a rapid, typically, but fortunately not one that was likely to kill me. Even so, I expended so much energy saving myself that I didn’t have enough left to get back onto my tube. It’s a bit scary – being so exhausted that I couldn’t do anything other than hold onto my tube and try not to break any bones. Had I been dying, I’d have been unable to do anything about it.
  Nothing else too eventful happened before the Black Rock rapids – I enjoyed myself greatly. It has been quite a while since I’ve gone tubing, but I don’t seem to have forgotten how, so I had great fun skilfully navigating rapids, getting stuck in whirlpools, and all the other great things that a flood brings. A few people fell out over a few of the rapids, but no one was badly injured. Shan thought he had broken his leg at one stage, somehow getting it caught between two rocks when he fell off in a rapid, but it was just badly bruised.
  Black Rock Rapids however, are probably a little too extreme – pushing the limits of tubing perhaps a little far. I went down the rapids first, to guide the way, but I was also trying to keep an eye on Ella in case she lost her tube, and it’s rather pointless being in front for that as there’s no way to stop – if someone has trouble behind me, I can’t help them. With this in mind, about halfway down I held back so she could pass me. We’ve very little control where we go – we’re pretty much at the mercy of the water as it rushes over the immense submerged boulders that it normally winds its way sedately through. I had Ella in front of me, and Kylie behind me. I didn’t have time to see where anyone else was, as I had to fight with all my strength to stop being turfed out of my tube myself. About halfway down Ella went directly over the top of a small waterfall, amazingly managing to remain on her tube as she landed in the turbulent suction at the foot of the fall. She came up panicked and crying, so I spent the rest of the rapids trying to save her, but by that time, it was all I could do to keep close enough to her to save her should she lose her tube, and not lose my own tube. The general idea is to avoid going directly over the top of waterfalls, but instead go just slightly to one side, riding the wave they form, but not being sucked too far into the suction caused by the water pounding over the fall as it will likely suck you under and pound you against rocks. Then, unless you really have your wits about you, you’ll try to protect yourself with your arms and come up for air, forgetting to hold onto your tube and it will remain tossing about at the base of the waterfall while you’re ejected directly into the next waterfall. Going over waterfalls is probably not a good idea at anytime – it’s a particularly bad idea without a tube, and in rapids such as these, losing your tube halfway down means you’ve several waterfalls you’re going to be thrown over, sucked around, and battered by. Even if you don’t lose your tube, it’s remarkably hard to get back on while being thrown around rapids.
  By the time we all got to the bottom of the rapids, all three girls were crying and in shock – all had thought they were going to die. Jade had been thrown from her tube sometime earlier on, and gone down the rapids without it. She thought she had broken her leg, as she couldn’t move it. Kylie had also been thrown from her tube, but managed to keep hold of it, although she couldn’t get back on it. She went down on her tube on her stomach, with Shan doing his best to guide her around waterfalls. She thought she had broken her toe – which was very swollen. I’d been keeping an eye on Ella, and she hadn’t really had any problems – she hadn’t fallen off her tube, but she’d still thought she was going to drown, and was in shock. It is a bit of a shock – you go over a huge wave, down a vertical cliff of water and plunge deep into a writhing mass of water, which is rushing against the flow back into the base of the waterfall. The surface of the water is sucks you back into the thundering mass of water flying over the waterfall, which then pushes you underwater and out. Then, before you can think, either you’ve been turfed off your tube and are fighting for your life, or you’ve been pushed out of that wave and are flying towards the next. All you can do is paddle, trying to steer around the edge of the cliffs of water surging over submerged boulders, while trying to plan a route so you don’t end up right on top of another waterfall when you’ve got around the current one. It goes on and on – from the top of one waterfall, you can see right down the cliff to where the savage white water is waiting for you at the bottom, and at the same time, you can see several other sharp drops waiting directly after that, but you don’t get time to think.
  The poor girls were all crying and shocked, and refused to go anywhere near the water. Two of them couldn’t walk for a while – Shan had to carry Kylie, who wouldn’t stop shaking. Ric, who had also come off his tube, and ripped his shirt and gashed his shoulder, headed off to Doug’s to get help and call Shan’s parents. Doug drove down and picked up Jade and Kylie, who couldn’t walk that well – and Shan, Ella and I walked back to the bridges where we met Shan’s father and they all went home. So there we go – I’ve got at least one flooded swim in these holidays, and survived. I only fell off in one rapid, but it wasn’t a bad one, although I did fall off all over the place when I had the small tube, but there wasn’t anything that serious at that stage. It was a bit scary when I did fall off, realising that I didn’t have the energy to save myself had I needed to, but fortunately I didn’t need to at that stage. In fact, my worst injury is a splinter in my thumb – which is actually quite annoying while I’m typing. The water was the perfect level, any higher and the rapids lose some of their charm as the waterfalls tend to flatten out and become boring, and any lower and the rocks begin to get scarily close to the surface, making navigation much more difficult – landing on a rock that’s only a few inches underwater is not good.

Night

• As soon as I got home, I had slide my way through the mud and gathering gloom, to the pump, and carry it up higher so it isn’t washed away if it keeps raining. Lugging a very heavy pump up a slippery mudslide through the dark jungle isn’t really all that fun. I then relaxed in front of my computer, eating custard and cream, and feeling a little sick and sore from today’s exertions.

Comment by Mum – Saturday 29 January 2005, 9:29 PM

  Ok. Ma does not approve. Several years ago...."Ma look at us...." Yeah, okay. Not too happy about son and daughter risking necks in flooded creek, but being assured of "fun, is okay" by parents of nearly-drowned Ella/Shan/Kylie/Jade.....I posited myself at The Bend to see kiddies having fun. Heh, heh, little darlings thought I as I sat in the torrential downpours, watching with alarm (shove aside alarm. God is) as river (formerly called creek) raged....RAGED... "Look at us Mum, wave....etc" Okay. Sodden and apprehensive, I heard a distant collective shriek, which in about a split second became a full frontal shriek which lasted about a semi semi split second and in a blur and a flash, The Whole Mob sped past my designated spot with Immense Screams (which I, in inc

Comment by Mum – Saturday 29 January 2005, 9:37 PM

  Cant even finish the whole ordeal. Never will look again. The blur or screaming kids fanging past in a flash, all of the screaming (I guess it is in joy, thunk I weakly)....gah, dont even ask me to look again else it will be BIG MA and YOUS VERBOTEN (this was about 450 years and 400,000 grey hairs ago) He still does it. She also, when out here. I still do it. Sit at home twitching......am I a widow, son widow yet?

Comment by Mum – Sunday 6 February 2005, 2:49 PM

  Why is this repeating? I say again, why is this repeating. It is repeating, and why is it repeating, repeating.

22.01.2005 – Saturday 22 January – Familiarising

• I stayed up late – it was half past three or thereabouts when I got to bed. Mum woke me and we went down to the Lion’s Den. Vince and Sarah drove out not long after, and we all spent the morning at the Den, going for a swim in the refreshingly cold and flooded creek.

23.01.2005 – Sunday 23 January – Familiarising Part Two

• In what’s becoming a tiring habit, I was again woken by Mum after too little sleep. We then drove to the Lion’s Den, where I left Mum and continued on into Sarah’s, looking at her computer for a while, heading back to the Den around lunchtime. We spent the afternoon there, heading back into town in the evening, and picking Dad up from the Den on the way home. It was very hot, very muggy, and a lot of flying ants flew after dark, which was as good an excuse as any to hide unmoving, away from light and flying ants, and talk to Bronwen for a few hours.

24.01.2005 – Monday 24 January – Drills, Geckos & Intellectualising

• It is remarkably muggy today. I drove into town, went to the dentist, went to Sarah’s and tried to fix her computer (it’s a Macintosh, so there isn’t much hope), and met Jade and Mandi at the Mad Cow Café while buying a milkshake as an antidote to the dentist. I then spent the evening talking to Dad about the economics of taxation with regard to the standard of living, employment, university, entry cut-offs and their relation to intelligence, various career options and what constitutes a healthy diet, amongst other things.

11:30pm

• I have a baby gecko, not more than an inch long, which has not yet learnt to fear humanity. There’s actually two of them that wander around in here, but this one has just been walking over my keyboard making it hard to type, and onto my hands and up my arms – I think it’s trying to get to my head for some reason. I put it on the light switch, where I nearly squashed it turning the light on, and it’s now gone to talk to a grown-up gecko.

Comment by trace – Wednesday 26 January 2005, 10:54 PM

  i'd watch yourself and cover any orifices. it sounds like your little gecko friend is an alien trying to sabotage the world we live in. peace out.

Comment by Maz – Thursday 27 January 2005, 1:25 PM

  Well I know 'I' am afraid. Damn aliens.

Comment by Mum – Sunday 6 February 2005, 2:45 PM

  Geckos are sweet. Unfortunately, they poo all over the place, which isn't so sweet. They also fight each other, or perhaps it is mating. Dont know. Is a noisy affair anyway, a sort of um high clicking thing. They fall off the roof into your lap sometimes, wherein Mum mkes a sort of high noise, not at all like clicking.

25.01.2005 – Tuesday 25 January – Tantrums, Sunburn, & A Lovely Woman

• Yesterday, when I first attempted to go online, I couldn’t. This was very disturbing, and actually more complex than the preceding sentence. I could actually go online. This would seem to be a contradiction, but in the next sentence, I will explain further. I could go online, but after a short period of time, no connections would connect, and while the modem didn’t actually disconnect, I was essentially disconnected. Then, after several retries, I had a few attempts where I connected at ridiculously slow speeds like 2400 baud. To make matters more complicated, and to make this paragraph slightly longer, I will include more details directly following this sentence. Actually, I’ve changed my mind and decided to include the further details after this sentence instead. Here are the further details, as promised twice already: In several connection attempts, occasionally the modem would fail to dial correctly, sometimes it would connect at a “normal” speed but all connections would die after a minute or two, at other times it would connect ridiculously slow and nothing would work, and once or twice it connected for up to half an hour but then nothing would work. I was about to re-plug the phone line, but became disconcerted and switched to using my far more expensive external modem instead. It has fancy features such as a backlit display and a rich variety of plugs to plug things into. More importantly, it has impedance matching and dynamic signal and line quality monitoring, and works when others don’t.

Sun

• I decided that I should get some sun, as I won’t get much when I’m in Brisbane. With this in mind, I walked down to the creek and lay on my stomach on a rock in the sun. Shortly after, I lay on my stomach on a rock in the rain. The rain didn’t appear to be stopping, so I walked home. Now I am badly sunburnt. It seems that lying in the sun causes sunburn.

Night

• I threw a tantrum, phoned Bronwen for a while, and slept in front of a fan without moving or having anything touch my burnt back.

26.01.2005 – Wednesday 26 January – Australia Day

• Very hot, very muggy. Sarah phoned arranged for Shan and Kylie, along with Shan’s sisters and me, to come in for dinner. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out quite that way. Shan’s sisters went up to Kylie’s to wait for Shan, who was at work, and I did exciting things that I can’t remember, also waiting. Then Mandi broke down on the way into town, followed by Kylie getting angry that Shan wasn’t home yet, so she came and picked me up and we were about to go to town by ourselves when Shan arrived home. His sisters had to help Craig get Mandi’s car back home, so just Shan, Kylie and the fantastic bloke that writes all this went to town, saw Sarah, bought food from Mandi, and later drove home. All quite exciting stuff – it’s an art form in itself transforming events such as these into such boring prose. For some reason, the closer I get to being with Bronwen again, the more I miss her – so I phoned her, again.

27.01.2005 – Thursday 27 January – Packing & Dentists

• Today dawned around about dawn, followed by intense humidity and heat, a condition locals call “bloody muggy”. Mum woke me up so I could enjoy the bloody mugginess, rather than my peaceful sleep, so I walked up to Dad’s (after peacefully sleeping a little longer), chatted for a while, walked back, drank eighteen litres to replenish what I’d sweated out, and drove to town to visit my friend the dentist. After being dentally abused, I drove home, narrowly avoiding death when a two-trailer truck met me around a corner, it being in the middle of the road and me not having enough road left over to drive in. It’s strange how shortly after the adrenaline rush of near death, ones stomach and legs weaken – I wonder why.

Evening

• I’ve moved the computer back inside, where the old modem seems to work.

Night

• Shan and Kylie came up and we snacked and had a good old chinwag. I then phoned Bronwen, and now it’s the early hours of the morning and I still haven’t packed – so it’s a-packing I do go.

28.01.2005 – Friday 28 January – Cooktown to Brisbane

• I discovered another way to use spare money: missing flights – but today started earlier than that... I was woken early by Mum – getting up doesn’t feel so good after only a few hours sleep, something I should have thought about back when I wasn’t packing yesterday I suppose. We drove to the airport, and I departed for Cairns, but not until the pilot had stressed everyone by spending several minutes trying to warm the left engine – every time he put load on it, it’d die, so he’d rev it out for another minute and try again. Silas picked me up in Cairns, and we went to Amos’s place, where we had a bite to eat and a chat, before heading back to the airport for my flight to Brisbane. Ironically, we actually went to get coffee first, but couldn’t find a parking spot so decided to head out to the airport a bit early. All airlines have some time they require you to arrive in advance of their departure time – half an hour with Jetstar. Unfortunately, I understood this time as more of a guideline so people wouldn’t be late, rather than an absolute cut-off. I have nearly always arrived just on time in the past, actually making a point of arriving only half an hour before the flight, as it avoids waiting in a large queue. However, as I found out today, this doesn’t always work – Jetstar close check-in at precisely half an hour before departure, or one minute before I arrive. They then, unsurprisingly, refuse to accept unattended luggage, so would not fly my luggage separately, meaning that without being able to check it in, I couldn’t fly. The service lady offered to transfer my ticket to a flight a couple of hours later and allow me to pay the fifty-dollar difference, which was nice of her as the ticket conditions don’t permit that, but Virgin had a flight leaving roughly the same time as my original flight, so I took that instead. $175 later and I was boarding my Virgin flight, just a few minutes after my original flight boarded. Virgin closes their check-in fifteen minutes prior to departure, and it seems, will attempt to assist late passengers, unlike Jetstar.

29.01.2005 – Saturday 29 January – Bronwenising

• Unspeakable beauty.

30.01.2005 – Sunday 30 January – Joe’s

Day

• After a lovely day at Bronwen’s, I made my way to Joe’s, arriving very hot and sweaty. It is remarkably hot. Tonya, and later Michelle, arrived and Joe and I went for pizza and drinks, which we then ate and drank.

Midnight

• I’ve eaten my fill of pizza, unpacked, set up the computer, and managed to get online using my sadly crippled, but “free” (disregarding the fees I pay), university dialup account. My back is peeling now, and quite itchy. It has cooled down a little here, but it’s very hot otherwise.

Comment by Kathryn – Tuesday 1 February 2005, 5:26 PM

  Moo Har Har
  This is a msg to let you know that Kathryn who has been silent for a bit now will be silent for a bit longer as i am on my way to Vietam on Sunday. After spending all holidays wanting to travel a friend and i finally got our act together and are off on an adventure. I hope that the needles the doc gave me will protect me from any nasties. And if anyone really wants to know i return on 26/2 and if you ask (may the forces of the universe protect u if you do) i will tell you alllllllll about vietnam.
  bye for now kathryn

Comment by Ned – Tuesday 1 February 2005, 6:03 PM

  Vietnam sounds interesting – I wish I could go overseas.

31.01.2005 – Monday 31 January – Banking, Centrelink, Uni & Maz’s Madness

• I needed to sort out a few things, and do some grocery shopping. Grocery shopping didn’t sound too exciting, so I phoned Skytrans to request the tax receipt I forgot to get, and then caught a train into the city where I dropped in at the Commonwealth bank. I explained to them how I was always right, so they must be wrong. They agreed, and politely disabled the card I didn’t get, which they insist they did send, as it must have been “lost or stolen”, and promised they’d send a new one. In the meantime, as I had no money and my current card expires tomorrow, I could walk out to the ATM to withdraw some cash, put my card in, look at it in a bemused fashion while the machine eats it, reports it “lost or stolen”, and contemplate killing all the staff in an American style shootout. This seemed like a good idea, but I realised I wasn’t carrying a gun (one of the disadvantages of living in Australia, I suppose), so caught the bus out to uni instead.
  They appear to be renovating everything at uni. It is good to know they have tons of money to throw around I guess. There are large holes all over the place, and every second walkway is fenced off. I booked an appointment with an academic advisor, paid for Clint’s dialup account, requested a graduation check (which may take up to three weeks, somehow), and checked in at the refectory to see if they were selling any edible food, which they weren’t. I then caught a bus to Toowong, and went to Centrelink.
  Centrelink closes at half past four, and I arrived just after four – only minutes before everyone else arrived. I thought the staff were doing a good job – they had one woman walking down the queue trying to help people, and the people at the computers did whatever it is they did, presumably as fast as they could. Not everyone had this opinion though – at least one irate woman jumped the queue and demanded to be seen immediately, demanding to see the manager when she was refused, eventually leaving after the Centrelink man agreed wholly with her but wouldn’t help her, confusing her somewhat. I have a feeling I am perhaps the only person who has fun standing in a queue at Centrelink, but I did – it’s an interesting place to watch people. They really need to upgrade their software though – everything they do causes me obscure problems, so they let me watch them doing it all now, and they’re using the most inefficient and confusing interface possible. To celebrate the apparently successful completion of my visit to Centrelink, I bought a felafel roll and walked up to Maz’s house of madness, which I survived, although why anyone would make a hill in such a way that you have walk up it, then down it, just to get to someone’s place is beyond me.

Night

• I got home just in time to get a message from Joe that Bronwen had just phoned and that I should phone her back immediately and apologise for everything he had said, which I did, and we had a chat for a couple of hours. It’s nice to be able to phone without the phone bill tending rapidly towards the national debt.

Comment by Maz – Wednesday 2 February 2005, 2:02 AM

  You were lucky you caught the place at such a sane time. It was decievingly quiet last night. Lucky you weren't here tonight.

01.02.2005 – Tuesday 1 February – Wherein they refer to themselves collectively

• They had a quiet day, doing some washing, some grocery shopping, talking to Silas when he phoned, and sorting pictures. They then ate too much dark chocolate, felt unwell, and went to bed. They wish to point out before their mother reads this, that eating dark chocolate is not unhealthy, and has actually been shown to be the opposite. In fact, according to something that they read in a trashy magazine while at Bronwen’s, some of the secrets to a healthy life are beer and wine, dark chocolate, and laughter. These struck them as very well known secrets, but they wish to know if milkshakes are perhaps one of the lesser-known secrets to health.

Comment by Mum – Thursday 3 February 2005, 9:03 PM

  Their mother reads this. Chocolate...smooth and dark. A bit like lawyers. Healthy? Milkshakes...froth and bubble. A bit like yankee TV. Healthy? Wine and beer...indicators toward that state in which some of us find ourselves so disgustingly healthy that we cannot contain........which leads to Laughter. (Good old fashioned state). Is this "good old fashioned state" healthy? Will have to log off for a while until I can contain my belly rolls.....must be something wrong with me.

Comment by Mum – Thursday 3 February 2005, 9:11 PM

  Laughter is the best medicine. A good old fashioned pursuit

02.02.2005 – Wednesday 2 February – Bronwen

Day

• I did very little, breathing regularly and occasionally blinking.

Night

• Bronwen arrived. We went on a hunting adventure, involving complex and long-winded descriptions of roads, speed limits, and missed turns. We then ate through an electric storm, which was nice, although I found the mushrooms to be a bit on the tasty side. I discovered that the oscillating feature on my oscillating fan features a random, and noisy, slipping – perfect for clicking loudly at indiscriminate periods throughout the night, just in case I’d accidentally fallen asleep.

Comment by io – Sunday 6 February 2005, 12:22 AM

  Aww... Pretty.

Comment by Ned – Sunday 6 February 2005, 10:25 PM

  She is.

03.02.2005 – Thursday 3 February – Meet the Fockers

• I showed Bronwen how I miss trains, before heading into uni, where I saw Peter Robinson for academic advising. It was a little pointless without having received my graduation check yet – I’d assumed they were near instantaneous, but obviously not. Many of my questions received answers “You’d have to ask the faculty, or Philip Machanick”, so I will. After these exciting revelations I sat in the sun under a bush, had a short chat to Shazia, and waited for Maz to come pick me up. We did exhilarating things like sit in front of a fan, before we both realised we had to have Cold Rock – the alternative was unthinkable. Fortunately, Maz isn’t scared of dying, so we drove to Indooroopilly, bought Cold Rock super shakes, and felt suitably sick. We then did the gentlemanly thing and dropped girls at chemists without their prescriptions (meaning they couldn’t actually get what they went to get) and jewellery stores, before deciding to breakdown in a no-standing zone. I’m not really into breaking down, so I abandoned Maz and caught a bus to Indooroopilly where I made the mistake of watching “Meet the Fockers”. Holly told me it was good, but it’s only worth a half of the latest Bridget Jones movie, and that’s not good – she will be reprimanded.

Comment by Maz – Saturday 5 February 2005, 5:47 PM

  You had better hope Hollie doesn't see how you spelt her name... That could be a death wish.

Comment by io – Sunday 6 February 2005, 12:25 AM

  My sister's cat is called Molly. What did you chat to Shazia about?

Comment by Ned – Wednesday 9 February 2005, 12:54 PM

  The weather.

04.02.2005 – Friday 4 February – A Series of Unfortunate Events

• I trained to Maz’s, and we went and saw “Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events”. It started quite well, but was unable to maintain its plot throughout, falling prey to the all too common Hollywood “sucky ending” syndrome, although it still managed to match five fockers, topping twenty two cat women. We then drove around to use up potentially faulty petrol and overheat the car, passing Bronwen’s, going up Mt Coot-tha, which has quite a nice view, and making illegal right turns, before I trained home again reading Nick Earls’s “Zig Zag Street”.

05.02.2005 – Saturday 5 February – Bronwen & BBQ’s

• I caught the train to Maz’s, for rather complex reasons, staying there for a while before heading over to Bronwen’s, where I finished off my book and had a lovely evening and stayed the night. It has been so hot, and it doesn’t seem to cool down at night, as it should.

06.02.2005 – Sunday 6 February – Bronwen & DVD Burners

• I had a pleasant day at Bronwen’s, followed by a pleasant evening at home. I had planned to buy a DVD burner tomorrow, but I made the mistake of doing a little bit of “quick research” to find out which model I should purchase, which went on for hours, and now I can’t buy any until I’ve figured out which is the very best for the money because none of them are perfect. I’m also sick of hearing about DVD’s and DVD players.

Comment by Jojo – Wednesday 9 February 2005, 10:59 AM

  let us know which one you buy and the reasons for it. i started research, but gave up when i realised i didnt actually 'need' it and therefore could not justify it... thanks

07.02.2005 – Monday 7 February – Ghosts, Invalid Debiting & The Secure Hash Algorithm

Day

• After sleeping for a ridiculously long time, I headed into the city, driving around with Maz finding computer places in faraway industrial estates. I also withdrew some money from an ATM – just once. I have, however, been debited the amount twice. I am not at all sure how to prove this, but I’ll drop in and have a chat to someone at the bank tomorrow. If they make an ATM eat my card again, I shall become incensed.

Night

• After developing several Hollie-powered complexes at Maz’s, I rushed home via Cold Rock, getting there just before they shut. I had planned to negate this excess with a healthy dinner, but when I arrived back here, Michelle was here, and as we’re both intelligent vegetarians, we had to eat lots of chocolate and drink strong coffee. After some Tim-Tams, a cream-filled chocolate egg, and three score eight chocolate-coated nuts and some “wog bread”, I felt too full to eat a healthy dinner. Joe regaled us ghost stories, including more information I didn’t know, or want to know, about why people won’t sleep in my room – not exactly what either of us needed to hear before bed, and I then escorted Michelle upstairs so the ghosts wouldn’t get her, and bravely shut myself in my room. Then I filled out Centrelink forms and replied to email, ghosts notwithstanding.
  Come to think of it, that’s quite enough about ghosts – I am not sure it’s just the coffee keeping me awake anymore, and I’m not sure whether I should look behind me to “face my fear” and prove it’s obviously ridiculous to even consider something could be there, or if looking around is admittance that something could actually be there, and hence not a good thing to do. Why does my room have to be full of windows and mirrors? I must play loud music and think about pretty butterflies and nice iced cakes... this is the first time I’ve freaked myself out since moving to Brisbane – even Winamp is teasing me, why can’t it pick mindless songs about nothing? Perhaps I’m reading too much into the randomly chosen song titles “Limelight Mix”, “Up around the Bend”, “Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing”, “Angel”, “Only You Know and I Know”, “The Ghosts that Haunt Me”, “The Nobodies”, “Graveyard People”, “Live and Let Die”, “A Warm Place”, “Real Things”, “Signs” – they’re probably not all supernatural references, but... why couldn’t they be totally boring titles about love or something? I want to open the door to see if Michelle is still awake, but I am not going to because the hall is out there, and it is long and dark. Ok – this is stupid, I’ve just gone through over a hundred songs, and my imagination is good enough that I can find a supernatural reference in almost every single one – although I’ll admit that the UFO reference in the farcical “I Saw Elvis in a UFO” is stretching the association a little.

6:10am

• I’ve just spent the past few hours messing around and re-implementing the authentication system used for my online journal. It’s now a much securer SHA1 based challenge/response system, which should, as far as I can infer in my current insane and sleep deprived state, be immune to all types of attacks, other than the obvious fact that someone could intercept the actual HTML coming back from the server allowing them to be able to view the page content – but that is not really a flaw with the login system.

Comment by Maz – Tuesday 8 February 2005, 3:43 AM

  BOO!

Comment by Mum – Tuesday 8 February 2005, 9:42 PM

  Beware the jabberwock my son. The slithey tomes that grimble.....

Comment by Damian – Friday 11 February 2005, 9:11 AM

  Ned, I wish you would turn your hand to writing some fiction, some poetry, some sort of prose. Have you read any Roald Dahl stories?

Comment by Reubot – Wednesday 16 February 2005, 7:03 PM

  Ironically, SHA1 has now porported to have been cracked.
  http://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2005/02/sha1_broken.html

Comment by Ned – Thursday 17 February 2005, 12:27 PM

  Collisions are not particularly relevant to the security used here.

08.02.2005 – Tuesday 8 February – Banks, Libraries, the Government & Bronwen

• I entrained for Maz’s, meeting him at Toowong, where we went and joined the city library and I discovered that it costs 55¢ to put a hold on a book. Due to this preposterous cost on something I had assumed was free, I didn’t get any books out – although I did spend 40¢ photocopying documents for Centrelink. After the exciting trip to the library, Maz and I went to the bank, where I complained that they’d charged me twice for an ATM withdrawal. It ends up that it was most likely a delayed withdrawal on Friday showing up at the same time as another withdrawal on Monday. After this further excitement, Maz and I made our way to Centrelink, where I stood in a big queue until someone came and took my fares allowance claim from me. I then spent a little time at Maz’s place, before he dropped me over to Bronwen’s, where I spent the night.

09.02.2005 – Wednesday 9 February – Samuel

• Woke up at Bronwen’s, went into the city, did some shopping, trained home. Drove and got chips for Joe.

10:58pm

• It’s remarkably hot. It has been nastily hot all day, but it should have cooled down by now.

10.02.2005 – Thursday 10 February – Quiet & Relaxing

• Quiet morning, slept in, did nothing, began reading “Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy” and completed the first chapter, which is not much of an achievement as it is only one page long.

11.02.2005 – Friday 11 February – Courses, Vampires, The Closet & The Amazing Multifunctional Bronwen

• I had planned to do many things today, but instead I woke up at midday. I found I had an email from Philip, so I rushed into uni to see him. Rushing via public transport is a very relative concept – a couple of hours later I arrived at uni and had a discussion with Philip about the role of the microkernel in a secure operating system, along with the IT degree’s role in the greater concept of things, and my role within it. I managed to bump into Lachlan as I came out of the lift, and as he was just about to open the sacred BITS closet, I hung around. My conversation with Philip went for a lot longer than I’d anticipated, and I ended up talking to Lachlan for a considerable time as well, meaning I got to Govindas far later than planned. A quick email and timetable check later and I was rushing to catch the one bus that would still get me to Indooroopilly in time for my movie, but I bumped into Michelle and got distracted, arriving too late. I also met Alex along with some geeky cohorts, making today a bumping into people from uni sort of day. Having missed the movie, I once again emailed and timetabled, heading back into the city, unsuccessfully phoning Bronwen several times before she answered (people who consider others in movies are all very well when I’m in the movie, but it’s a bit inconsiderate when I’m not) before meeting Tracy, Cassie and Sophie. They were, perhaps unsurprisingly, in King George Square, surrounded by confused Goths, at least one of which was unsure if she was a vampire or not because she only drank her own blood. Leaving them to their dilemma, I headed onward to Bronwen’s, who I’m fairly sure isn’t a vampire, and spent the night safely with her.

Comment by trace – Tuesday 15 February 2005, 2:22 PM

  pfft she wasnt a vampire. i am the TRUE vampire. but she is just crap. yayy for awesomeness!

12.02.2005 – Saturday 12 February – Topic temporarily out of order

• Having got up around lunch time, and not feeling remarkably energetic, we lazed around the house until early afternoon, at which precise moment we walked to the valley, met the makers, admired a fishnet wedding dress, wandered around some more, saw dragons, watched what may have been a wedding and got bitten by ants, ate a pleasant meal, bumped into Cam, sat behind a church overlooking the city and admired the pretty lights (and me my stunning Bronwen), before wandering back to her place.

13.02.2005 – Sunday 13 February – Intimacy, Footballs & ...

• After another energetic morning not getting up, followed by an afternoon of relaxation, I made my way home, being hit in the head by a football on the train, as one does on Sunday evenings. Michelle and her beau, Michael, are here. In order to recover from my alarmingly geek-free weekend, I spent the night updating my iLog mIRC log viewer to support the fine and still progressing year two thousand and five, as well as adding an auto-updating thing that auto-updates a thing.

2:43am

• It has just struck me that Metallica’s “Fade to Black” is an amazing song – redolent of Aaron and my early teen years.

14.02.2005 – Monday 14 February – Saint Valentine’s Day

• Michelle and Michael are still here, and Joe and they are getting quite boisterous downstairs, while I’m having a quiet day inside doing computer things, phoning Bronwen, and emailing Mum.

15.02.2005 – Tuesday 15 February – Passports & Alexander

• Despite my alarm, I managed to sleep in, getting to the city later than I’d planned. It seems doing more than one thing per day is too hard, and even that one thing ends up harder than it should. Today was renewing my passport day, so I went to the passport office, queued with my fancy ticket, and eventually talked to the passport office man in window number five. For anyone else, that would have been the end of the story – he’d have stamped the application, smiled politely, and wished them a nice day, but not for me. Starting by telling him that I did have my previous passport with me, but that I was pretending I didn’t because I didn’t want it chopped up may not have been the best way to start, but it was when he was unable to determine whether there were two of me, or I was born twice, that it became interesting. After going and chatting with his manager, his manager decided that he’d have to contact Perth to find out just how many of me there are, so we moved onto the next step, which was photos. Now, a normal person provides two signed photos, but not me – I needed more, and because it had taken so long to decide how to find out how many people I am, I had to run to a photo place, get four more photos, and run back before the office closed. I then handed over lots of money, and went searching for Citibank, which was remarkably difficult to locate, and remarkably unhelpful when finally located. After that it was a rush into uni to put a hold on some books, then back via Indooroopilly and “Alexander”, which wasn’t too bad – getting itself five Fockers.

16.02.2005 – Wednesday 16 February – Three Months

• I went shopping, which was hot. I then caught a train into the city, which was air-conditioned (the train, not the city, unfortunately). Once there, Bronwen and I wandered around, arriving at the botanical gardens on sundown to see “Hero” at Bailey’s Moonlight Cinema, before heading back to Bronwen’s place, where I continued to forget that I had to be at uni by eight o’clock tomorrow morning.

17.02.2005 – Thursday 17 February – Lecture Theatres, Mobile Phones & A Drastic Lack of Sleep

• After not sleeping very much, I realised at some ridiculous hour that I had to be at uni by eight o’clock. This was something of a problem given the circumstances, but Bronwen drove me to uni and I got there just on eight, and made my way down to Prentice, where I was given a tour of what I’ll have to do in the mornings. I then made my way to Govinda’s for sustenance, bought a mobile phone, and trained to Fairfield where I went to the library to pick up “The Snow Leopard”. It was here that it all of a sudden hit me – and I realised just how little sleep I’d had over the past few nights. I had just bought a milkshake, and got lost out the back of the supermarket somehow, so had just walked through a small service corridor and out into a courtyard – where I walked directly into another man. I literally walked right into him – our faces hit. I didn’t even see him, I’ve a feeling I may have been sleepwalking, although I’m not sure what he was doing. Unsurprisingly, my milkshake didn’t stop as fast as I did, and much of it shared itself with my unintended protagonist, who found himself in a dazed state of shock and wandered off insisting he was ok. I wiped myself off with a rag provided by a cleaner who had, ironically, just cleaned the area I cleverly sprayed with milkshake, and went and hid under a stairwell at the train station and had giggling fits.

Night

• Once I arrived home I found out that Joe had, coincidentally, also bought a mobile phone today. I also found out that my dinner was essentially inedible, so I essentially didn’t eat it, after essentially eating most of it, which essentially made me feel sick.

Comment by Reubot – Thursday 24 February 2005, 10:19 PM

  Did you get a job at ITS or something?

18.02.2005 – Friday 18 February – Stradbroke Island

• Today, the great search for a phone case was begun. It seems my model is relatively rare – at least, none of the major phone shops had cases to suit, and I’d all but given up when I was walking past Dollars and Sense on the way to Maz’s, and popped in there – finding a case and hands-free kit, well below the cost the phone shops would have charged anyway. Loki was at Maz’s, where I stayed a while before being dropped at Bronwen’s, packing things, and heading out to Stradbroke. It was fairly late by the time we arrived, so we pretty much just put up a tent and went to bed.

19.02.2005 – Saturday 19 February – Relaxing in Paradise

• A morning walk and swim in the ocean set the mood for a lovely and relaxing day, followed by a pleasant evening with Bronwen’s friends, sunburn being the only downside.

20.02.2005 – Sunday 20 February – The Case of the Great Gender Stereotypical Door

• A morning walk and swim again set the mood, followed this time by a wonderful breakfast with Frank and Shirley. After this, I spent the afternoon helping John, apparently in a very gender stereotypical way, complete and hang a large door. We then risked bogging ourselves and missing the last ferry back, for an enjoyable final swim before catching the unmissed ferry back to Brisbane. Fortunately, we didn’t hit any left over mines from the war, although just as I was commenting to Bronwen on this, something moved and made a rather large bang. We moved away from the railing after that, just in case.
  Once back in Brisbane, it being late and we tired and a bit sunburnt, we slept.

21.02.2005 – Monday 21 February – Kieran & Hot Curry

• I got a lift into the city with Bronwen on her way to work, wandered around buying a felafel roll and new hands-free thing for the phone, having apparently lost my other one at Stradbroke, before phoning Maz and catching a bus out to his place. Kieran came over and we drove in to uni where we had lunch, then to his new place, and then I came home. Amy is now here, so Joe and I go for Thai food, ordering half the shop. Michelle arrives, I phone Bronwen, the earth rotates, and my curry is remarkably hot.

22.02.2005 – Tuesday 22 February – Indian Curry

• I had a relatively relaxing day, heading into the city around lunchtime, and eating a pleasing dinner at an Indian Restaurant in Paddington, followed by a pleasant night.

23.02.2005 – Wednesday 23 February – Market Day & Main Hoon Na

Morning

• I headed into uni to see “Market Day”, the day that the various societies on campus show off to lure students to join them. It was hot and not that interesting, but I spent an hour or two wandering around, met a few friends, and joined BITS so I’d have a leg to stand on when banned from their IRC channel.

Afternoon

• I went and saw “Main Hoon Na” at the Bollywood Masala Indian Film Festival at the Dendy. I had planned to watch a few films over this festival, but other things happened and I didn’t get the time. “Main Hoon Na” was a bit basic, and almost immature in spots, but had enough of a plot, coupled with suitable humour and action, to make it an engrossing movie – but only a quarter as good as Veer-Zaara, or three quarters of a true lie.

24.02.2005 – Thursday 24 February – Constantine & Microsoft

• Up early after a late night, sleep in, and nearly miss train – good preparation for uni. Go to Microsoft security conference, but only attend keynote and first session, finding second session to be too Microsoft-orientated. Meet Clint, Kipps, Flash – sadly geeky, and Corrosive, at South Bank for lunch. Go to “Constantine” on Australia’s largest cinema screen. Walk around city with Corrosive, go to Maz’s, and go to “Constantine” again at Indooroopilly, surprisingly better second time around.

25.02.2005 – Friday 25 February – The Spook

• I trained into the city, where we ate at Govinda’s and then saw “The Spook” at QPAC, which impressed me.

26.02.2005 – Saturday 26 February – Joe’s Barbecue

• They’re doing track works, so trains aren’t running all the way, which actually turned out good, as we were able to catch an express train, which doesn’t normally stop at my station, but today did. Joe was just beginning his barbecue when we arrived, and as the evening slid into night, more people arrived, drank, and became increasingly stupid – but a pleasurable night was had by all, with no one sleeping alone, or sleeping at all for that matter. At some very early stage of the morning, much loud house-shaking banging on floors and walls was done, accompanied by joking shouts to silent others to keep quiet – by those making the noise. Fortunately, Joe was suitably anaesthetised, as I don’t think he’d have been very happy. Amy’s boyfriend had to fly back early in the morning, so people were up remarkably early after only two hours semi-sleep, and I didn’t feel sparkling bright myself.

27.02.2005 – Sunday 27 February – Tropfest & Joe’s Departure

• Joe left on his holiday, and we left here for Brisbane, getting lunch at a small place in West End, where I appear to have lost my hat. We then watched sixteen short movies at “Tropfest” in South Bank, meeting Clint, Clus, Maz, Scruff and an Elliot I’ve not met before. However, of the five, only Maz was cultured enough to stay longer than five minutes, the rest disappearing towards inexorably beer-wards.

28.02.2005 – Monday 28 February – Uni, Work & Sleep

5:30am

• I attempted to wake up, got ready, and propped myself against a pole at the bus stop. I then made my way sleepily onto a uni-bound CityCat via Hungry Jacks, arriving in uni just on time.

7am

• I presented myself for my first day of work, on time and not entirely asleep.

10am

• I went to my first COMS4200 lecture, still mostly asleep. I had found myself apprehensive about the start of this semester, as I didn’t think I’d like any of the courses I had enrolled in, and wasn’t at all sure that attempting COMS4200 was a good idea. After the lecture, though, I found myself thinking ahead to what I’d do during the semester, and what I’d learn, and almost looking forward to it. I guess I should seek counselling now before it’s too late.

Afternoon

• I discovered that it’s now impossible to access my email from the labs, and that they’ve implemented a quota system, which gives us 150 MB per month. While this new system has presumably lifted the annoying rate limiting that was previously in use, 150 MB seems amazingly stingy given the fees we’re paying and the status the university pretends to hold. Maz turned up for me to whinge to and we went and saw EPSA to figure out if we were able to undertake the course we’re enrolled in, and then went and found Clint so I could whinge to him, and check my email. Clint wanted to go to Umart, so we did, stopping off at Kieran’s on the way back, walking to Indooroopilly, and then a bus and train home. For the first time ever, I slept and missed my station, waking at the next station and having to wait for a train back.

Comment by Maz – Thursday 3 March 2005, 12:42 AM

  HAHA. i didnt know you missed your stop.
  You convinced me to do COMS after i missed the first lecture, it had better not be too hard.

01.03.2005 – Tuesday 1 March – House of Flying Daggers

• I once again attended uni at 7 o’clock at the wrong end of the day – something that requires me to get up at five o’clock, which isn’t easy that early in the morning. After ensuring my section of the university was functioning, I went and saw Dr. Soon, who signed my bank stuff for me and chatted about next semester. I then attended my inaugural PSYC1030 lecture, missing the latter half, as I had to head into the city. PSYC1030 sounds as though it may be interesting, and hopefully not too challenging or difficult.

Evening

• After relaxing in the Roma Street Parklands for a while, I became hungry so headed towards the city, buying a felafel roll and eating it in the botanical gardens. After this, I headed across to South Bank where I purchased and consumed a Cold Rock Super Shake while watching a Channel 9 helicopter filming traffic and CityCats, before watching “House of Flying Daggers” at what used to be the IMAX cinema. The movie was quite good, and although more believable than Hero, came across as more Western, which isn’t necessarily an advantage for a Chinese film. At times it was painfully clichéd, and I’d find myself thinking, “surely they won’t do that”, just before they did, but overall it was quite enjoyable, gaining six “Fockers”, for a total of 27 cat women or precisely three quarters of a true lie – the same as Hero.

Comment by DM – Thursday 3 March 2005, 9:54 PM

  I see you hold Cat Woman in wonderfully high regard.

Comment by io – Monday 7 March 2005, 3:23 PM

  Well Catwoman did score like the anti-best movie of 2004. I liked House of Flying Daggers more than Hero myself, and Hero more than Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

02.03.2005 – Wednesday 2 March – Shopping

• I caught a bus into the city, buying an apple turnover for breakfast, before heading into uni where I met Kieran, Maz and Clint, after complaining that I can’t access my email or the psychology website from the labs. I was originally going to print out lecture notes as well, but they are password protected, and the passwords are given out in the first lecture. I strongly disagree with this stupid concept, but there’s not much I can do about it. Kieran, Maz and I went to the Ville for lunch, for the first time in a while, and then we headed into the city with Clint, where we spent all afternoon walking around window-shopping.

Night

• Due to an apparent failure of its non-deducibility property, my journal has undergone a slight update.

03.03.2005 – Thursday 3 March – Lectures & Green Goo

Morning

• Today I, amongst other things, attended my introductory CSSE3004 lecture. This course is not sounding like much fun. The lecturer set the mood well, first by ignoring a sudden influx of late people, then blandly asking several to close the door behind them, only to have it opened by the next person, and finally commenting that people should, in future, attempt to be on time and that he’d put this down to it being the first lecture. This was in spite of him knowing that this lecture had confusingly been advertised as occurring in two different locations – something that was probably his fault and that he’d been informed of prior but had not, as far as I’m aware, attempted to rectify, and it was obvious these people were those who had gone to the wrong location. Anyone with a personality would have made a little joke, or done something other than continuing to lecture about nothing much, in a management-tinged monotone; perhaps whoever told me that he had the “personality of an ant” was right after all. Then, after two mind-numbing hours, we traipsed to another lecture theatre where we were asked to fill out a form including what times we were available. This I couldn’t do as I hadn’t yet finalised, figured out, or even remembered any of my timetable, yet when I asked if it would be alright to hand the form in this evening, or some other time after I’d had a chance to check my timetable, I was told no – that I should just hand in a blank form if I was unable to fill it out now. That’s obviously ridiculously pointless, and smells nastily of process for processes sake regardless of logic, and I’m beginning to think that might be a lot of what we’re going to be learning in our assigned groups; here’s hoping I get a good group or this could be unbearable. We were also subjected to the standard plagiarism warnings – copy even two sentences, and rather than say “it’s only two sentences”, the lecturer will refer the matter to the school for disciplinary action.

Lunch

• Green goo, technically dhal, potatoes and spinach mush, and rice, were purchased and consumed by myself at Indooroopilly, while Maz ate unhealthy junk food and Kieran discussed the virtues of meat.

Evening

• My evening lecture, the first INFS3202 lecture, was a stark contrast to the dull management-drone morning. Kieran, Maz and I walked into the lecture to find the lecturer having difficulty getting the projector to work, but making a few quips about it. We were told that team-based courses result in many students not learning anything, and that this lecturer doesn’t care if we copy things off the web if we feel like it, provided we don’t copy any other student’s work as the school will automatically discover that. Unfortunately though, he has taken several of the components I wished to learn out of this course and put them into a new course running in second semester. This is a bit of a problem, as I was relying on them to help me learn some skills I think I’ll need in second semester, and now I’ll have to learn them in private study. Kieran then had a chat about Microsoft, as he is wont to do, and we left, skipping the second half of the lecture as it was about such in-depth concepts as “What is the Internet” – not something I feel like learning on a Thursday.

Comment by Maz – Thursday 3 March 2005, 9:14 PM

  It was not unhealty junk food. It was chips because I wasn't really hungry.

Comment by Lucas – Friday 4 March 2005, 3:03 PM

  Good luck in the project, i'm sure you saw us slaving over sprinklers last year!
  
  Key to doing well: have a good group. Unfortunately it is something you can't control. Individual brilliance can't make up for a garbage group.

Comment by Ned – Friday 4 March 2005, 9:15 PM

  That being the main problem with group projects – I do not want my mark to reflect the aptitude, or otherwise, of others outside my control.

04.03.2005 – Friday 4 March – Work

• I finished the book I was reading, “The Snow Leopard” by Peter Matthiessen, on the way home from work. Other than that, and my first night’s work, nothing else earth shattering happened.

Comment by little bird – Wednesday 9 March 2005, 1:40 PM

  I heard through the grapevine that your ITS working hours are going to be cut back to 10 a week. This is shocking.

Comment by Ned – Wednesday 9 March 2005, 4:22 PM

  I am not sure who you are, or where you heard that, but as far as I am aware, my hours have remained the same as expected.

Comment by Maz – Thursday 10 March 2005, 9:30 PM

  But what has happenend THIS week? :P

05.03.2005 – Saturday 5 March – Kickboxing

• I was driven up to the Ettamogah Pub, where we met my sister, Shan and Kylie – all of who were fighting in the night’s kickboxing.

Shan

• Shan had the first fight out of the three – and he was knocked out within a second of starting – very disappointing for him but quite impressive. His opponent just walked up and knocked him out – appearing very confident and looking, at least to me, pre-planned. While it was his opponent’s first Kickboxing fight, he had apparently had “no rules” fights before, and while I suppose Shan should have blocked the punch, it was essentially a fluke.

Kylie

• Kylie-Anne was the next out of the three to fight. I honestly can’t remember that much about her fight right now, but I think she fought well, but was then punched or kicked and didn’t get up – not knocked out, but a “technical knock out”.

Sarah

• Sarah had the last fight of the three, and also lost her fight. She was clearly winning in the first round, but then a kick to the body left her unable to fight – a “technical knock out”, and, I suppose, a fair, but no doubt disappointing, fight.

• After the fights we all went clubbing, except the queues were rather slow and large and the music expected to be uninspiring. Because of this, I ended up wandering along the beach instead, cuddling and watching the waves break onto rocks, after which I spent the night with Vince and Sarah.

06.03.2005 – Sunday 6 March – Relaxing

• Vince and crew needed to be on a reasonably early plane, so we got up far too early and drove back to Brisbane, making up for this by spending most of the rest of the day in bed, before heading back to the current Joe-less insanity of home.

07.03.2005 – Monday 7 March – Renae & Shelly

Day

• Getting up at five o’clock is, to put it nicely, early. It was also a little nippy – a sign of things to come, global warming permitting. The journey on the CityCat is actually somewhat nice early in the morning.
  Once at uni, I worked, attended my COMS4200 lecture during which we went over the basics of C and I was pleased to find I knew it all already. Then Maz and I went to our COMS4200 tutorial, where we silently sat, knowing all the answers while others bumbled on about slightly related issues, quite managing to miss the point of most of the questions. This was followed by the obligatory visit to Clint’s room, which precipitated a visit to the poster sellers who seem to have taken over the Holt Room, before printing out some notes for tomorrow’s lecture and getting a lift to Centrelink with Maz. After admiring the interior of Toowong Centrelink for some time, I trained to Govindas for sustenance, having eaten very little all day – all weekend for that matter, and not feeling the best because of it.

Night

• Silas’s sister and her boat-mate arrived just as I did, so a celebration is being had.

08.03.2005 – Tuesday 8 March – Tortillas & Chilli

• Today I learnt about babies for an hour, then about love, passion, commitment and something else – the name of which escapes me right now. Basically, I learnt nothing. If there was anyone in the class who didn’t already know the concepts of love we were being “taught”, then they should probably seek urgent counselling. I did take this course as it was supposed to be really easy, but I didn’t realise that meant it consisted of people explaining the most obvious statements to us. Still, it may make it easier for me to get a good grade.
  After spending half the day not learning anything, I headed into the city and had dinner at a Mexican place in West End, which, while not really my style, was actually quite nice.

09.03.2005 – Wednesday 9 March – Cleaning & Work

• We are supposed to have left the money for the cleaner on a mantelpiece, but no one did, so this morning when I got home I found a note there from the cleaner – “No money, no clean”, however I was too tired to care. Today would have been a really good day to sleep, given that it’s my mid-week weekend and how tired I was, but I had to work, so back to uni it was. I also have to eat, so I stopped at Govinda’s on the way to work.

10.03.2005 – Thursday 10 March – Long & boring, but with a lovely end

• Thursday looks like being a long, boring, and unpleasant day. I have two hours of CSSE3004 lecture, followed by another hour of CSSE3004 “workshop”, which appears to be identical to the preceding two hours of lecture, followed by a short break then an hour-long tutorial, which fortunately doesn’t start until next week. Then, to top it all off, there’s two hours of INFS302 lectures – which don’t appear to be that fantastic either. A normal person would then seek psychiatric help, but I still have a few hours work to lurch through before I can get some sleep on the train home, or not, as it turned out.

11.03.2005 – Friday 11 March – Training

11:44pm

• I’m actually not as sleepy as I should be, probably because I managed to sleep on the train, and I’ve been on the train three times today. I got up early, bussed into the city, bought breakfas