Welcome to my website
v3, the third incarnation of my personal website, is a stylistically diverse site: The freedom to style each page how I want—while still keeping some semblance of order. The menu up the top is your friend. It’s the one thing that’s always there.
journal3 is the reason for v3.
I keep a journal, which details in great detail every little detail of my daily life. It’s not always exciting, but does give a good indication of what my life is like, and presumably in turn what I am like.
It’s my collection of mundane daily life, interspersed with my attempts at photography, wit, and whatever else comes to mind. The journal index is probably where you’d want to start.
Or check out the most recent entry, start at the oldest entry, use the calendar, or the search page, or if you are still lost, the site map…
Journal Categories
accident alexandra alexandria bay amanda amy anna beach bill birthday blaise brisbane festival bronwen buderim bushwalking byron bay cairns cam & christine cam & tina camera camping car cat & niall chris cinema clint college’s crossing cooktown dad daniel david dentist doctor driving ebay eclipse family festival flight flooding fortitude valley funeral gav & valerie gavan geek geoff & hillary gold coast goma grace guns hail haircut hollie ian ipswich john & sarah kara kate katie kieran kindle lamington national park laptop leeches lens light painting lightning linda liza lunar eclipse markets maz media centre moving mum natacha natalie natural bridge netbook ngoc nicole noosa nudity odin outdoors phone photography pittsworth police qwab raymond rejects riverfire robots robowars sabine sarah scarecrows scott shooting sick silas sit down comedy club sizzlers south bank springbrook stella storm stradbroke sunday live sunshine coast swimming sydney tamborine mountain the dreaming the steamers toothache torches travel twin falls umart uq valerie waterfalls west end markets woodford work
Propaganda, Flooding & Tom’s Confectionery Warehouse
It floods again, I build a Propaganda site, & I go to Tom’s Confectionary Warehouse.
Hard Answers
It’s where you go for all those hard answers—or if you have a question you need an answer for. A useful site, by Ned Martin. HardAnswers.net
Ned Martin’s Amused – Because Someone Has to Be
I believe you can tell a lot about a person from what amuses them, or sometimes, what doesn’t amuse them, so when I come across something that amuses me, I put it on my amused site. Plus it’s a lot of fun.
Amused Categories
aboriginal accident advertising africa alcohol america animals animated apple art audio australia babies balloons bananas banks bears beer bikes billboards birds blonde board games boats boobs books bras brisbane browsers bsod bugs business cards calendars canada cars cartoons carving cats chairs charts chickens children chocolate chrome clippit cocaine coffee comics communist computer games computers condoms cooking crocodiles daleks darth vader democracy dinosaurs disaster dogs donkeys driving drugs drunk ducks earthquake easter education eggs elephants english evolution explosions facebook famous people fashion feminine hygiene fire firefox fish fishing flash flowcharts food france fruit games gay geeky george bush giraffes grammar guns halloween hands hats history horses illusion imagery internet internet explorer ios ipad iphone iphones irish it jobs joke jokes kittens koalas languages laptops linux lions logan mac marijuana marriage math mayans medical meth microsoft mobiles money monopoly motorbikes movies movie stars music musicians new zealand ninjas north korea obama opera parenting parrots penguins phones photography pie charts pigs pirates police political posters predictions pregnancy quotations rabbits racist rallies redneck relationships religious rice risqué robots rocks romance safari samsung school seals sex sexist sharks shirts shops signs sms snow spiders sport sql star wars steve jobs stickers teachers technology terrorism tools turtles tv underwear university vegetables vintage war whales wifi windows wine women woolworths work zombies
v1 was my first attempt at a “proper” website. A few little bits of it have been saved.
the-i.org – Ned Martin’s Online Persona
I also have a website devoted to my online persona, “thei”, where you will find some of my photography, including some of myself, 
along with some information about me and where I live, amongst other things. There are also instructions for getting in contact with me via MSN or IRC, my musical tastes, and a whole lot more…
Ned Martin’s Public Files
There’s usually a few revealing things hanging around at my public file depository too, although be aware that, despite the name, they may not actually be intended for public view—read the disclaimer first.
nedmartin.org v2
v2 was a very fixed site. Every page, every section, was exactly the same—stylistically speaking—as every other page. It’s still there—go have a look. It was heavily focused on standards compliance, accessibility, and all that jazz. It seemed the “right” way to design a perfectionist’s site back then. Now I’ve moved on. Order in chaos is my current goal.
OpenAndroMaps
Vector based topographical maps for Android! They’re about 5% of the size of a traditional tiled raster-based map, and from what I’ve seen so far, the data for QLD seems quite good. I’m using Orux Maps with maps from OpenAndroMaps
A Short History of this Welcome Page
It was a basic welcome page back in v2. v3 started with a newspaper themed welcome page, before adding a tiled background, and finally, expanding on the tiled background, before changing to its current masonry column style, as it is today.
Australian Sand Sculpting Championships
Bronwen & I drive to the Gold Coast to look at the “Australian Sand Sculpting Championships”, I start work, & we watch “Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away”.
Daisy Hill Koala Centre
I attend interviews & get some work, Maz’s car battery goes flat, & Bronwen & I go to the Daisy Hill Koala Centre.
The Valley Fiesta, Bogan Bingo & The Brisbane Grass Roots Music Festival
Bronwen & I go to Sunnybank, The Valley Fiesta, Bogan Bingo, Astro Pete’s, The Diwali Festival, The Brisbane Grass Roots Music Festival, & see “The Intouchables”; Sarah’s laptop arrives, Silas & Liza visit, & I get sick.
Boondall Wetlands
Bronwen & I swim at Southbank, walk through Boondall Wetlands, see many jellyfish, & I have my wheels balanced.
My Last Two Weeks At Mettro
I go back to work, replace the diff in my car, and finish up at Mettro. Bronwen & I watch “Les Miserables”, “The Life of Pi”, Jupiter at Astro Pete’s, & “Gangster Squad”, & we go to Heidi’s Fortieth. Laurie passes away.
Flooding, Storms & Power Failures
My umbrella is stolen, there is a little storm & half of QLD (including me) loses power, & the media centre dies.
Twin Falls Circuit, Springbrook
Bronwen, Maz & I drive to Springbrook & walk the Twin Falls Circuit, which is closed, & then go to Chez Tessa because The Burrito Bar has run out of tacos.
The Harrowing History Of My Media Centre
I build a new media centre, which promptly breaks, prompting me to revisit the harrowing history of my media centre. Bronwen & I also go see “Race 2”–a Bollywood film–& Mettro tells me Ray White have pulled development back in-house.
A Week Of Food
I eat–and photograph–food for a week, go to Pittsworth with Maz, watch “Men in Black 3”, & try a new vegetarian restaurant–The Green Vegetarian Restaurant
The Solar Eclipse Of 2012
Bronwen & I fly to Cairns, drive to Mount Carbine, & watch an amazing solar eclipse with Bronwen’s parents. I then meet Silas & Liza, & fly home.
Flinder’s Peak & Secret Cave
Bronwen & I go to The Korean Multicultural Festival, & climb Flinder’s Peak with Derek, Eric & Robert, I fall sick, Bronwen’s job ends, & wee see off Natacha at The Three Monkeys with Shane and Alexandra, before booking flights to Cairns.
Natural Bridge Glow Worm Cave
Maz, Kate & I drive to Natural Bridge Glow Worm Caves, we all look at Ngoc’s milk boobs, then Ngoc’s icecream boobs, watch “The Expendables 2”, a spider is in my shoe, the police deafen me, I clone my hard drive, & go shoe shopping & visit the new Chez Tessa.
Bogans, Scarecrows & Cedar Creek
I buy 6TB of hard drives for the server & find they can’t be used, go to Sizzler with Bronwen, & Cedar Creek & Cameron Falls with Bronwen & Maz & most of the bogans in the Gold Coast, & see some scarecrows. Then Niall leaves, I meet Clint, & go see Anthony Laffan’s Comedy Hypnosis Show.
Springbrook, Twin Falls & Natural Bridge
Bronwen & I drive to Springbrook, walk the Twin Falls Circuit, & look at Natural Bridge in the day time for a change. I also use the bike carrier for the first time.
The Brisbane Festival & Lake Kurwongbah
Bronwen & I watch the Brisbane Festival opening & Santos City of Lights, drive to Lake Kurwongbah with Maz, walk up Mt. Gravatt, eat pizza, & I am nearly killed by a ferocious shower spider.
Stradbroke Island, The “Straddie Salute” Triathlon, & Moonrise Kingdom
Bronwen & I go to Stradbroke Island, watch the “Straddie Salute” triathlon, “Moonrise Kingdon”, eat chocolate nachos & go to Govinda’s.
The West End Block Party, Alexander Hills Hotel, Byron Bay & Nimbin
I go to the West End Block Party, Bronwen & I both go to the Sit Down Comedy Club at the Alexandra Hills Hotel, & Maz, Uzi, Ian, Chris & I drive & ride to the Gold Coast, Byron Bay & Nimbin.
Kondalilla Falls & Alexandria Bay
Bronwen & I go to Govinda’s, don’t take Natacha to Murwillumbah & instead go to Kondalilla Falls & Alexandria Bay, see a fruit bat and many naked men, & eat a Frenzy for the first time in many years.
Springbrook, Purling Brook Falls & An Upside Down 4WD
Bronwen, Maz & I drive to Springbrook & visit Purling Brook Falls, coming across an upside down 4WD on the way home; Bronwen & I get free mini Dutch pancakes, watch “Looper”, & I cook two-minute noodles.
Robowars 2012 Nationals & Riverfire
Bronwen & I attend the Robowars 2012 Nationals, watch Riverfire from the 33rd floor of the Suncorp building, & Bronwen starts a new job.
Suitcase Rummages, Mini Bike Trainers & Earth Hour
I run out of milk, go to the Sit Down Comedy Club, eat chips with Clint at Scarborough, shop for shoes & chocolate, watch “The Hunger Games”, attend “Earth Hour”, a suitcase rummage, & buy a Mini Bike Trainer.
Stradbroke, Ants, Mosquitoes & Gum Nuts
I go to Stradbroke Island with Bronwen & am attacked by ants, mosquitoes, & gum nuts—but no icebergs.
The Execution Of A Laptop
I go to Pittsworth with Bronwen & Maz & execute a laptop. Also, a pleasant bonfire is had.
Wabbit Season
I eat chips at Pittsworth, curry in Rosalie, & film the massacre of many Easter Bunnies.
Pittsworth Light Painting
Bronwen & I go to Pittsworth with Maz & Clint, eat birthday cake, & take photographs in the dark.
Gavin’s Funeral
Bronwen & I attend Gavin’s funeral, I get toothache & visit the dentist, go to Govinda’s Sunday Feast, & watch “Coriolanus” & “The Rum Diaries”.
The KGB Don’t Find Me
The KGB don’t find me, I fix my car’s central locking, watch “Chronicle” with Clint & “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy” without him, the water fails, Flash crashes, I redesign my site, & Bronwen & I attend Cam & Christine’s party & a family dinner.
The First Entry In My Journal
I buy more RAM, & start using DragonNaturallySpeaking to write a journal…
Sick, Retiring, RAM & Comedy
I put more RAM in my laptop, Bronwen’s Dad “retires”, her Aunt & Uncle leave, we laugh at the Sit Down Comedy Club, & watch “Killer Elite”.
Bushwalking O’Reilly’s, Leeches & Itching
Bronwen, Clint, Maz & I go for a wet & misty walk through the leeches along Toolona Creek & Mount Wanungra at O’Reilly’s, & itch for days after.
College’s Crossing
I watch “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows”, eat a late Christmas Lunch at Sizzlers, & go swimming at College’s Crossing.
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
It is hot. I fix my car door, watch “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”, & eat a lot.
Family Dinner, Sizzlers, & Cloudflare
I have some days & nights, attend family dinner at Bronwen’s parents’ place, eat most of Sizzlers, & start using Cloudflare.
Coomera Circuit, Lamington National Park
Bronwen, Clint & I walk the Coomera Circuit in Lamington National Park, & I eat pancakes & fall sick.
Woodford Folk Festival & The Dreaming
Bronwen and I go to Woodford Folk Festival, where the weather is good for a change, I fall sick, we don’t argue, and overall have a great time.
Dotty At GoMA: We Miss You Magic Land!
I go dotty at GoMA, eat chips, pizza & pasta, & attend the work Christmas Party.
Wherein I Get A New Bike & The Moon Goes Away
I am haircut, there is a lunar eclipse, Bronwen buys me a bike, I go riding & get lost, fall over and damage my laptop, & post my old camera up to Sarah.
Pittsworth & Light Painting
A picture breaks, I eat at Coffee Club, buy a Mack Diamond Warranty, drive to Pittsworth with Maz, take starry photos, go-live at work, & watch the lighting of the Mayor’s Christmas tree.
Bronwen’s Birthday
It is Bronwen’s birthday, I make my first ever “Extra Special Birthday Vouchers”, get lots of things from eBay–some of which aren’t broken–& photograph the city.
Seven Years
It is Bronwen and my seventh anniversary. I attempt to change my headlamps, eat curry with Silas, photograph the media centre & my server, give Bronwen flowers, gain a battery grip for my camera, & eat dinner at Caravanserai.
Tamborine Mountain Scarecrow Festival
Bronwen & I drive to Tamborine Mountain for the Tamborine Mountain Scarecrow Festival, & are lucky to survive.
The Indian Journal: October 2000 – January 2001
I travel to India, see amazing things, & have an absolutely fantastic time.
Tamborine Mountain Scarecrow Festival
I drive to Tamborine Mountain for the Tamborine Mountain Scarecrow Festival, & am bitten by a vampire.
The Steamers (Attempt Five)
A fifth unsuccessful attempt to get to “The Steamers”, wherein it rains, squalls, & I meet the strongest wind I have ever met.
The Haircut & Not The Steamers
I get a haircut & don’t die on a cliff, in the dark, trying to find “The Steamers”.
More Torches & Some Thai
Two torches arrive from eBay, only one of which is broken; it rains & blows, & I go to Tara Thai.
Torches, Tax & Dinner
Bronwen has her first day at work, my 18650 batteries and P-Rocket torch arrive, Mack Warranties suck, it rains, & we have dinner with Bronwen’s cousins, Laurence & Valerie.
Storms, Nachos, Anger & Laptop Repair
I am very angry, it storms big, Maz moves to his new place, my laptop is repaired, & we go for a lovely drive.
Woodford, Rain, Relationship Woes & 2011
It rains a lot, my feet hurt, I volunteer at Woodford, argue with Bronwen, & return to Brisbane.
Riverfire & Riverbreakfast
I drive far into the mist, watch F111 jets & fireworks, & squeeze through crowds to eat French food.
Computers Suck
I fought–then bought–a monitor, fought the media centre, watched Captain America fight, bought some torches & batteries & a fake Wi-Fi card on eBay, fought my netbook, went to Sunday Live, fought Bilharzia, & got fit & stayed thin.
The Eight Dollar Milkshake
I buy an eight dollar milkshake, find that traffic congestion occurs during peak-hour, eat a fair bit, & go to Cleveland.
A Funeral, Classical Music, Cowboys & Aliens
I attend Bronwen’s grandfather’s funeral, Classic FM’s Topology, & Cowboys & Aliens.
World Naked Bike Ride
I watched naked people ride bikes, had a milkshake, and watched “Gilmore Girls”.
Moving House
My sister is pregnant, I visit College’s Crossing Moonscape, move to Bronwen’s, & find traffic sucks.
Home, Frizzy Hair, Pizza & Lens Repair
I arrive home, Bronwen’s hair goes frizzy, we watch Harry Potter & Transformers, visit Kieran, Maz, Smeagol, buy pizza & a shirt, & visit Camera Tech.
Stradbroke Island & Ida’s Funeral
I get a quote for my lens repair, go to Stradbroke Island, trim the hedge, install windscreen wipers & attend Ida’s funeral.
Handel’s Solomon
I fix the broken front door, look at cameras, eat cheesecake, go driving, stay up all night, buy tickets to Sydney, & attend Handel’s Solomon at St. John’s Cathedral.
Sabine Says Goodbye
I replace my car mirror, say goodbye to Sabine, show people my rooms, watch Inception, & go to the wreckers.
The Netbook, The Diseases, & Tom
I buy a netbook, eat Malaysian food, visit the travel doctor, inject diseases, buy a Lumix camera, travel on a bus, & have lunch with Tom.
My Kindle, My Dentist & My Last Day At Work
My Kindle arrives, I visit the dentist, have my last day at work, & nearly die in several road accidents.
Quitting Work, Buying Flights & A Kindle
I visit Amanda, give notice at work, book flights to Europe, & Bronwen gets a Kindle.
Gasses Damaging To The Ozone Layer
I cancel things, get in trouble, visit Amanda, & Maz, Kieran, Bunnings, Sunnybank & Govinda’s.
April Daze
Kieran buys a car; I buy apple juice & reverse into a car. I also visit Stradbroke Island, Pittsworth, work’s Christmas in April, attend TocH, ANZAC Day, see “Fast and Furious”, “X-Men Origins: Wolverine”, my phone fails, & I get toothache.
College’s Crossing Flooded
I drive back to Woodford, go for a swim, eventually get to Nandos & naively go to swim at a flooded College’s Crossing.
Squatting After The Flood
I move my things back to my flood damaged house & squat there. I also trim hedges, eat Sizzlers, tacos, curry, & help Maz move.
Woodford Folk Festival
I drive to Cairns, fly back to Brisbane, drive to Woodford & enjoy the festival.
Winning A TV & Bright Lights
I win a TV, buy earphones, start designing v3, fall sick, buy 500watt lights, am reviewed & see Harry Potter.
Valerie’s Second Coming
Valerie comes again, It Takes 2 to Tango, I see Clint, “Salt”, & Buderim & Bronwen’s Grandfather.
My Car Breaks
My car breaks, Eagle Boys suck, I buy U2 tickets, see “Tomorrow, When the War Began”, & see Peter Berner at the Sit Down Comedy Club.
Earthlings, Remix & Bronwen’s New Laptop
I attend “Earthlings”, “Remix”, the West End Markets, several cheap takeaway places, & Bronwen gets a new laptop.
Police Remove Blaise Jenkin & Amy-Jean Tebb
My horse wins, Amy-jean Tebb & Blaise Jenkin attempt to break in, breaking the door, & the police are called.
A New Laptop, Stradbroke & Rejects
I sell an iPhone, buy a laptop, attend the Pittsworth Show, watch “Watchmen”, go to Stradbroke Island, & meet the rejects.
I Buy A New Car
I buy a new car, see “Australia”, setup tent at Woodford, meet Silas & Sam, am embarrassed to be associated with the “No Clean Feed” people, & Stella moves entirely out.
Paddington Fair, Jokes & Suitcase Rummaging
I flash phone ROMs, watch “Titanic”, fight Paypal, visit Paddington Fair, rummage through suitcases & tell the best joke ever.
Lock ‘n’ Load, The Steamers & The Unwarping
It rains, I get my car unwarped, fail to climb The Steamers, Lock ‘n’ Load with Kristin, watch “Up in the Air” & have potential flatmates.
Brisbane, After Woodford; Canberra & Maz’s New Car
I drive to work, fly to Canberra where Maz buys a car, drive back, visit Amanda, & see a movie & eat a lot.
20 Bread Rolls, A Brainstem Infection & A Lunar Eclipse
I get a brainstem infection, 20 bread rolls, two LED torches, & there is a lunar eclipse & lots of fire twirling.
I Am Sick, Watch The A-Team, & Sabine Departs
I am sick, watch The A-Team, meet Sabine’s boyfriend, & am sad when Sabine leaves.
The Return Of Valerie & The Pressurised Head
I hurt my eye, see the doctor, argue politics, fall sick with a pressurised head & Valerie returns.
Death Of A Teapot
A teapot dies, I watch Balibo, Samson & Delilah, interview people, & build a perpetual motion machine.
Alexandria Bay, Noosa
In hindsight, there was a Music Kafe, very few people at work, Sabine arrived home, Bronwen bought surround sound & Valerie, Kara & I went to a nudist beach, after the markets.
Easter: Scouts, Stanthorpe, Girraween & Work
I climb the great pyramid amidst apple cider whilst my flatmates sail the oceans, before technical issues cut short my holiday—& regularly my sleep—& I return to work. Then, it’s Kick-Ass.
The 6th Asia Pacific Triennial Of Contemporary Art
I’m depressed, dangerous & go to Bunnings. The Earth has an hour, Bronwen & I have Hungry Jacks, attend APT6, drive Kara to the airport, and decide to be positive—not to mention, buying German bread & seeing the doctor about my eye.
Queensland Wind And Brass
I am annoyed at the lack of enforcement of road rules, cut myself on a can, & watch Kara play with Queensland Wind & Brass.
Hip Hop, Movies & Food
I watch a school hip-hop competition, “Rock’n’Rolla”, “Death Race”, & eat food.
Extreme Kayaking
28 kilometres of kayaking, against the tide, through waist deep mud, into 30 knot winds.
Sunday Live, Byron Bay, Speakers & Mustangs
I attend Sunday Live broadcasts, Ian Smith’s Bay Pastel showing, “District 9”, investigate speakers, have an x-ray, drive to Byron Bay, take over from my boss, & visit the Mustang State Concours & Muscle Car Spectacular.
IKEA-poisoning
I install CentOS, start hosting my own sites, Maz buys surround speakers, & I suffer IKEA-poisoning & mental degradation due to excess shopping options.
Brisbane, Again
Back in Brisbane again, I go about my daily life, have Kara visit, & watch “Sherlock Holmes”.
Let There Be Light
I am a fan of light, & my room has high ceilings… so I drove down to Bunning’s, & bought a thirty dollar light bulb.
Pulling Apart Computers
Bronwen pulls apart computers & Ned has an entire Arnott’s Family Assorted biscuit packet to himself, but fears it may not be enough.
Late & Flatmates
I gain a sore eye, a very rich cheesecake, & two of Germany’s loveliest as flatmates.
Linda And Bill’s Ruby Wedding Anniversary
Linda and Bill’s Ruby Wedding Anniversary: Mt. Tamborine in the rain: Bushwalking, swimming & mingling.
Alice In Wonderland
Ophthalmology, Alice in Wonderland, a kilo of peppermint creams & the St. Patrick’s Day parade, along with a new keyboard for my phone.
Welcome, Clem7 & Hurt Locker
I watch “Welcome”, “A Hurt Locker”, & some comedians, before getting a sore throat, calling in sick & driving through the Clem7 tunnel.
A Very Bad Day
I’m furiously angry, filled with quiet, subdued, rage - ironically, not at the police who I failed to evade, but at my work, Bronwen, & Valerie. & it’s all because I was trying to get fit.
Ma Baker’s Tonic
I hunt green fleas, meet Sabine’s fiancé, watch “The Book of Eli”, clip hedges, brighten my car & see “Ma Baker’s Tonic”, amongst curry puffs, spring rolls & homemade lemonade.
Printed on 100% recycled electrons.