IMPORTANT: The following journal is intended for the use and viewing of approved persons only and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational religious beliefs. Any dissemination, distribution or copying of this work is not authorised (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word ‘absquatulation’ has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the creation of this journal and a minimum of Microsoft software was used. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards.

Year View| Summary| 2005 (Year View – Showing Highlights Only)

2000 | 2001 | 2002 | 2003 | 2004 | This Year (2005) 2006 | 2007 | 2008 |

01.01.2005 – Saturday 1 January – The Year of Bronwen

3:02am: • That just made my day – I have just got home from the New Year’s celebrations at the Lion’s Den and Bronwen just phoned to give me the long-distance version of a New Year’s kiss. There’s not much more I could want – apart from, I guess, my own personal flying saucer (or TARDIS, if they’re out of stock), unlimited lifetime supply of chocolate (with complimentary free dental cover), and Bronwen herself.
Day: • I had to go to the Den to pick up Mum, so I did. I then didn’t have to do anything, so I also did.
Evening: • Jade and Ella came over and we spent some time talking about things and so forth.
Comment by Maz – Saturday 1 January 2005, 2:58 PM: I'm back now... did you all miss me? I have some ideas for random things to do at uni which I will go write down shortly. Hi kathryn.
Maz
Comment by Ned – Sunday 2 January 2005, 1:55 AM: Welcome back. I hope you didn’t get sunburnt.
Comment by io – Sunday 2 January 2005, 2:28 AM: Hi Maz.
Comment by kathryn – Sunday 2 January 2005, 4:31 PM: Hi Maz.

04.01.2005 – Tuesday 4 January – Clint’s Birthday

: • Continuing the trend of birthdays – today is Clint’s birthday. He’s now lacking a digital preamp as well. Mum and I went to town, dropping Dad off at Sue’s as she’s going away and he’s housesitting there again, and that’s about all I can say here about today.
Comment by Kieran Jacobsen – Friday 7 January 2005, 2:43 PM: Can i get authorization?

07.01.2005 – Friday 7 January – Joneses & Unusual Contractions

Day: • I was woken by Jean, calling to give a message to Julie, which I dutifully delivered. I then had a quiet morning, relaxing and rejuvenating from my distastefully early waking, before Shan and Kylie dropped over to drop off a CD with service pack two for XP on it, and we went out to Home Rule for a swim, where I ended up spending the evening.
Night: • There’s a form of contraction where the first two letters of a word are kept, and all the ones in the middle replaced with a number representing how many letters were replaced – the shortened form of “internationalisation” (except normally with a zed, zee, I mean), “i18n”, is the most famous of these. I was discussing the web and web standards, someone said w3c, I said n7n... it all began as an embarrassingly geeky joke, but it occurred to me that n7n.org is an easy to say, easy to remember, very short, and even symmetrical, domain name – and a suitably geeky contraction of nedmartin.org – so I went and checked its availability. n7n.com and n7n.net were both already registered, and I could sense a veritable horde of desirous internet users swarming to steal away my domain before I could get it, so I registered it – in my defence, it was very late at night. I haven’t yet thought of a reason, but I’m now the proud owner of n7n.org – complete with catchy slogan “I am not a geek, I am an artiste”. I was impressed with the speed of registration too – the domain was setup and resolving to my server within ten minutes of me purchasing it.
Comment by Mum – Saturday 29 January 2005, 8:19 PM: Holy mackeral, he is an artiste? n7n.org Son reduced to initials and number. Goodo. I think. I am still struggling with the intricacies of using phone. Dial...er...um...and press..er ...um. Okay until one has to speak. Okay, international know now that n7n.org hath a mother who is phone shy and still thinketh that this or that button on compewteur is either "the ejector seat" or "The Bombe". Ooer. Look askance at the groaning thing and press this and that with a rod, with eyes Wide Shut. You think I exaggerate? Heh, heh. Asketh n7n.org.

10.01.2005 – Monday 10 January – Dentistically Woeful

Morning: • I drove into town, queued for a while, and returned mentally debilitated. In other words, I went to the dentist. Dentists are a guaranteed cure for those not already valetudinarily inclined.
Dentist: • I explained to the dentist how I’d always had sensitive teeth, but recently they’d become much more sensitive. He had a look for all of a minute, and said “no wonder”. I apparently have a mouthful of decay, indicative of some underlying problem – probably dietary. He then asked me some diet related questions, informed me that I ground my teeth and asked if I thought I did. I must then have looked worried as he explained that the dental decay itself is not abnormal – I guess the level of decay must be. He has booked me three appointments. I didn’t feel very good after this, so fuelled up the car, bought some things from the supermarket, and drove home, stopping at Sue’s to see Dad for a while.
Night: • I ended up staying at the Den until they shut, picking up Dad on his way back from Sue’s, and trying to comprehend the seemingly unfathomable linked horseshoes and their ring.
Comment by Mum – Saturday 29 January 2005, 8:34 PM: Is easy. Just have to fang the upright thing onto the downright and then do a simple twist nd at same time to do a sort of righthand semblance whilst holding the upright and also the round sway at half knots and stand on your head and imbibe 3 Jim Beams and swear, Lots. Is total easy. I canna sae that Oi have dunnit, mon, but oi have tried, begorrah. Oh, yessuh.

14.01.2005 – Friday 14 January – El Dentista

: • Cooktown through the dust, like a dimly lit vision, preceded the dentist, aching jaw and tightly clenched fists. Heavy road construction equipment within one’s headspace decries gaiety, while jowl distension precipitates an inane stupidity.
11:30am: • El dentista says that while he could probably fix my teeth, it would be a long, painful, and expensive process and still might not work, so he recommends I get the lot pulled and get dentures instead. I am not sure what to do, because he says it risks drastically altering my facial expression, and I might require facial reconstruction after. That’s what I worried anyway – the truth isn’t quite as exciting.
Dentist: • The dentist took two x-rays, poked me with sharp things, checked my teeth, spoke in complex dental jargon to his assistant and then did one filling. The filling itself was good; I didn’t even know he’d given me a needle until he told me not to eat until after the anaesthetic had worn off. Having what feels like heavy road construction equipment inside my head isn’t what I’d call joy, but as far as dental appointments go, it was good. I’m also a bit less worried about it all than I was before – it seems I just need a series of rather mundane fillings, rather than having all my teeth pulled out and full facial reconstruction like I was originally worried about. He did say that he probably wouldn’t have time to do the lot though, so I might have to get them finished in Brisbane. He also changed my last appointment from the Friday to the Monday, meaning I can potentially return to Brisbane earlier.
Evening: • On the way home, it occurred to me how much it has changed up here. It wasn’t that long ago that anyone I met on the road would wave – now very few do. It’s been ages since anyone died from a duel or anyone got off murder because everyone petitioned in support of raw justice, although I did hear of a petition just the other week. It’s fast becoming like any other place, except we don’t need vehicle roadworthy certificates and the road rules are nicely summed up by “drive according to prevailing conditions”.
: • Science must have been far more interesting when you could choose between being a plenist or a vacuist. Now the terms are more suited to the study of psychology than anything else – expect perhaps the great blonde debate.
Night: • I phoned Angie, and then Silas, after getting back from my walk. He’s now in Cairns. I then gave Mum my present, before phoning Bronwen for two and a half hours or so, breaking my newly made policy of not phoning after midnight. I went to bed at a quarter to three.
Comment by Mum – Saturday 29 January 2005, 8:55 PM: Plenist or vacuist. Flaming heck., what does this mean? And yes, we still wave to all maniacs who are so foolish as to have a go at trevasssssssssing the goat track in The Wet. Is always a potential comedy( one can only laugh whilst going darnthetrack sideways) but is okay ...The Den (Lions Den HOtel) is a healthy 400,000 miles away. Yeah, okay , I exaggerate, but if you think I exaggerate...............The Wet EXAGGERATES. And I mean, ....really....10 inches overnight is pipsqueak and to be just mildly laughed at.

21.01.2005 – Friday 21 January – Floods, Shock & Custard

Evening: • It’s been flooding, or trying to, for a while now, and today I finally got to go swimming in it – something I’ve been waiting for, ever since coming up here. Jade, Shan and Kylie drove up to the Home Rule Bridge, from the Home Rule side, and I walked down and met them. The water has gone down a bit now – it was too high to walk across the bridge this morning, but now it can be crossed without too much difficulty. We drove back to Home Rule, patched up some tubes, and jumped in the icy cold creek. Ric, Ella, and three girls from Home Rule also came. One of the younger Home Rule girls had a bit of a rough time, hitting a few trees and submerged logs, and got out before we’d gone too far. The rest of us continued back down to the Home Rule Bridge, and on to Shan’s place. I had a small tube, which made it very unstable, so I fell out a few times – but there’s nothing too bad before Shan’s place, and the worst injury I got was a splinter in my thumb, water in my ear, and a nearly-cramped leg.
  The two remaining Home Rule girls had got a bit knocked about on the journey from the bridge down to Shan’s, falling out on one rapid, so they went home, while the rest of us walked back to the bridge and jumped in again. This time I had a proper sized tube, and we continued towards the ominously named “Black Rock”, over rapids with exciting names like “Popping Rock” and “The Suction”. I went over one rock that tipped me vertically into the white water behind it, where I fell off. It was at the start of a rapid, typically, but fortunately not one that was likely to kill me. Even so, I expended so much energy saving myself that I didn’t have enough left to get back onto my tube. It’s a bit scary – being so exhausted that I couldn’t do anything other than hold onto my tube and try not to break any bones. Had I been dying, I’d have been unable to do anything about it.
  Nothing else too eventful happened before the Black Rock rapids – I enjoyed myself greatly. It has been quite a while since I’ve gone tubing, but I don’t seem to have forgotten how, so I had great fun skilfully navigating rapids, getting stuck in whirlpools, and all the other great things that a flood brings. A few people fell out over a few of the rapids, but no one was badly injured. Shan thought he had broken his leg at one stage, somehow getting it caught between two rocks when he fell off in a rapid, but it was just badly bruised.
  Black Rock Rapids however, are probably a little too extreme – pushing the limits of tubing perhaps a little far. I went down the rapids first, to guide the way, but I was also trying to keep an eye on Ella in case she lost her tube, and it’s rather pointless being in front for that as there’s no way to stop – if someone has trouble behind me, I can’t help them. With this in mind, about halfway down I held back so she could pass me. We’ve very little control where we go – we’re pretty much at the mercy of the water as it rushes over the immense submerged boulders that it normally winds its way sedately through. I had Ella in front of me, and Kylie behind me. I didn’t have time to see where anyone else was, as I had to fight with all my strength to stop being turfed out of my tube myself. About halfway down Ella went directly over the top of a small waterfall, amazingly managing to remain on her tube as she landed in the turbulent suction at the foot of the fall. She came up panicked and crying, so I spent the rest of the rapids trying to save her, but by that time, it was all I could do to keep close enough to her to save her should she lose her tube, and not lose my own tube. The general idea is to avoid going directly over the top of waterfalls, but instead go just slightly to one side, riding the wave they form, but not being sucked too far into the suction caused by the water pounding over the fall as it will likely suck you under and pound you against rocks. Then, unless you really have your wits about you, you’ll try to protect yourself with your arms and come up for air, forgetting to hold onto your tube and it will remain tossing about at the base of the waterfall while you’re ejected directly into the next waterfall. Going over waterfalls is probably not a good idea at anytime – it’s a particularly bad idea without a tube, and in rapids such as these, losing your tube halfway down means you’ve several waterfalls you’re going to be thrown over, sucked around, and battered by. Even if you don’t lose your tube, it’s remarkably hard to get back on while being thrown around rapids.
  By the time we all got to the bottom of the rapids, all three girls were crying and in shock – all had thought they were going to die. Jade had been thrown from her tube sometime earlier on, and gone down the rapids without it. She thought she had broken her leg, as she couldn’t move it. Kylie had also been thrown from her tube, but managed to keep hold of it, although she couldn’t get back on it. She went down on her tube on her stomach, with Shan doing his best to guide her around waterfalls. She thought she had broken her toe – which was very swollen. I’d been keeping an eye on Ella, and she hadn’t really had any problems – she hadn’t fallen off her tube, but she’d still thought she was going to drown, and was in shock. It is a bit of a shock – you go over a huge wave, down a vertical cliff of water and plunge deep into a writhing mass of water, which is rushing against the flow back into the base of the waterfall. The surface of the water is sucks you back into the thundering mass of water flying over the waterfall, which then pushes you underwater and out. Then, before you can think, either you’ve been turfed off your tube and are fighting for your life, or you’ve been pushed out of that wave and are flying towards the next. All you can do is paddle, trying to steer around the edge of the cliffs of water surging over submerged boulders, while trying to plan a route so you don’t end up right on top of another waterfall when you’ve got around the current one. It goes on and on – from the top of one waterfall, you can see right down the cliff to where the savage white water is waiting for you at the bottom, and at the same time, you can see several other sharp drops waiting directly after that, but you don’t get time to think.
  The poor girls were all crying and shocked, and refused to go anywhere near the water. Two of them couldn’t walk for a while – Shan had to carry Kylie, who wouldn’t stop shaking. Ric, who had also come off his tube, and ripped his shirt and gashed his shoulder, headed off to Doug’s to get help and call Shan’s parents. Doug drove down and picked up Jade and Kylie, who couldn’t walk that well – and Shan, Ella and I walked back to the bridges where we met Shan’s father and they all went home. So there we go – I’ve got at least one flooded swim in these holidays, and survived. I only fell off in one rapid, but it wasn’t a bad one, although I did fall off all over the place when I had the small tube, but there wasn’t anything that serious at that stage. It was a bit scary when I did fall off, realising that I didn’t have the energy to save myself had I needed to, but fortunately I didn’t need to at that stage. In fact, my worst injury is a splinter in my thumb – which is actually quite annoying while I’m typing. The water was the perfect level, any higher and the rapids lose some of their charm as the waterfalls tend to flatten out and become boring, and any lower and the rocks begin to get scarily close to the surface, making navigation much more difficult – landing on a rock that’s only a few inches underwater is not good.
Night: • As soon as I got home, I had slide my way through the mud and gathering gloom, to the pump, and carry it up higher so it isn’t washed away if it keeps raining. Lugging a very heavy pump up a slippery mudslide through the dark jungle isn’t really all that fun. I then relaxed in front of my computer, eating custard and cream, and feeling a little sick and sore from today’s exertions.
: • Mum got home and says that Damian reminds her of me in some ways, and is intelligent, easy going, and “nice”.
Comment by Mum – Saturday 29 January 2005, 9:29 PM: Ok. Ma does not approve. Several years ago...."Ma look at us...." Yeah, okay. Not too happy about son and daughter risking necks in flooded creek, but being assured of "fun, is okay" by parents of nearly-drowned Ella/Shan/Kylie/Jade.....I posited myself at The Bend to see kiddies having fun. Heh, heh, little darlings thought I as I sat in the torrential downpours, watching with alarm (shove aside alarm. God is) as river (formerly called creek) raged....RAGED... "Look at us Mum, wave....etc" Okay. Sodden and apprehensive, I heard a distant collective shriek, which in about a split second became a full frontal shriek which lasted about a semi semi split second and in a blur and a flash, The Whole Mob sped past my designated spot with Immense Screams (which I, in inc
Comment by Mum – Saturday 29 January 2005, 9:37 PM: Cant even finish the whole ordeal. Never will look again. The blur or screaming kids fanging past in a flash, all of the screaming (I guess it is in joy, thunk I weakly)....gah, dont even ask me to look again else it will be BIG MA and YOUS VERBOTEN (this was about 450 years and 400,000 grey hairs ago) He still does it. She also, when out here. I still do it. Sit at home twitching......am I a widow, son widow yet?
Comment by Mum – Sunday 6 February 2005, 2:49 PM: Why is this repeating? I say again, why is this repeating. It is repeating, and why is it repeating, repeating.

22.01.2005 – Saturday 22 January – Familiarising

: • I stayed up late – it was half past three or thereabouts when I got to bed. Mum woke me and we went down to the Lion’s Den. Vince and Sarah drove out not long after, and we all spent the morning at the Den, going for a swim in the refreshingly cold and flooded creek.
: • Met Damian at the Den, chatted alone with him for a while until Sarah arrived, then we both chatted for a while before buying pizza. Sarah went home around midday some time and Damian, Mum and I drove back to here, where Damian had a look at the scanned photos I have on this PC, went for a walk with me just past the Home Rule Bridge, and then I drove him back to the Den.

24.01.2005 – Monday 24 January – Drills, Geckos & Intellectualising

: • It is remarkably muggy today. I drove into town, went to the dentist, went to Sarah’s and tried to fix her computer (it’s a Macintosh, so there isn’t much hope), and met Jade and Mandi at the Mad Cow Café while buying a milkshake as an antidote to the dentist. I then spent the evening talking to Dad about the economics of taxation with regard to the standard of living, employment, university, entry cut-offs and their relation to intelligence, various career options and what constitutes a healthy diet, amongst other things.
: • I had four fillings, all on the left side, none of which hurt, although my mouth felt stupid for ages afterwards, and my jaw got sore from holding it open for so long.
11:30pm: • I have a baby gecko, not more than an inch long, which has not yet learnt to fear humanity. There’s actually two of them that wander around in here, but this one has just been walking over my keyboard making it hard to type, and onto my hands and up my arms – I think it’s trying to get to my head for some reason. I put it on the light switch, where I nearly squashed it turning the light on, and it’s now gone to talk to a grown-up gecko.
Comment by trace – Wednesday 26 January 2005, 10:54 PM: i'd watch yourself and cover any orifices. it sounds like your little gecko friend is an alien trying to sabotage the world we live in. peace out.
Comment by Maz – Thursday 27 January 2005, 1:25 PM: Well I know 'I' am afraid. Damn aliens.
Comment by Mum – Sunday 6 February 2005, 2:45 PM: Geckos are sweet. Unfortunately, they poo all over the place, which isn't so sweet. They also fight each other, or perhaps it is mating. Dont know. Is a noisy affair anyway, a sort of um high clicking thing. They fall off the roof into your lap sometimes, wherein Mum mkes a sort of high noise, not at all like clicking.

28.01.2005 – Friday 28 January – Cooktown to Brisbane

: • I discovered another way to use spare money: missing flights – but today started earlier than that... I was woken early by Mum – getting up doesn’t feel so good after only a few hours sleep, something I should have thought about back when I wasn’t packing yesterday I suppose. We drove to the airport, and I departed for Cairns, but not until the pilot had stressed everyone by spending several minutes trying to warm the left engine – every time he put load on it, it’d die, so he’d rev it out for another minute and try again. Silas picked me up in Cairns, and we went to Amos’s place, where we had a bite to eat and a chat, before heading back to the airport for my flight to Brisbane. Ironically, we actually went to get coffee first, but couldn’t find a parking spot so decided to head out to the airport a bit early. All airlines have some time they require you to arrive in advance of their departure time – half an hour with Jetstar. Unfortunately, I understood this time as more of a guideline so people wouldn’t be late, rather than an absolute cut-off. I have nearly always arrived just on time in the past, actually making a point of arriving only half an hour before the flight, as it avoids waiting in a large queue. However, as I found out today, this doesn’t always work – Jetstar close check-in at precisely half an hour before departure, or one minute before I arrive. They then, unsurprisingly, refuse to accept unattended luggage, so would not fly my luggage separately, meaning that without being able to check it in, I couldn’t fly. The service lady offered to transfer my ticket to a flight a couple of hours later and allow me to pay the fifty-dollar difference, which was nice of her as the ticket conditions don’t permit that, but Virgin had a flight leaving roughly the same time as my original flight, so I took that instead. $175 later and I was boarding my Virgin flight, just a few minutes after my original flight boarded. Virgin closes their check-in fifteen minutes prior to departure, and it seems, will attempt to assist late passengers, unlike Jetstar.
: • I collected my luggage in Brisbane and waited in the arrivals area, but Bronwen didn’t arrive. Eventually I was paged over the intercom – Bronwen had made her way to the arrival gate, and was wondering where I was. We drove to her place, where her parents were just leaving for Stradbroke Island, and had a lovely night cuddling.

29.01.2005 – Saturday 29 January – Bronwenising

: • Unspeakable beauty.
: • I spent the day with Bronwen, cuddling, walking to Mt Cootha botanical gardens, and getting hot and sweaty often.

30.01.2005 – Sunday 30 January – Joe’s

Day: • After a lovely day at Bronwen’s, I made my way to Joe’s, arriving very hot and sweaty. It is remarkably hot. Tonya, and later Michelle, arrived and Joe and I went for pizza and drinks, which we then ate and drank.
Midnight: • I’ve eaten my fill of pizza, unpacked, set up the computer, and managed to get online using my sadly crippled, but “free” (disregarding the fees I pay), university dialup account. My back is peeling now, and quite itchy. It has cooled down a little here, but it’s very hot otherwise.
Comment by Kathryn – Tuesday 1 February 2005, 5:26 PM:   Moo Har Har
  This is a msg to let you know that Kathryn who has been silent for a bit now will be silent for a bit longer as i am on my way to Vietam on Sunday. After spending all holidays wanting to travel a friend and i finally got our act together and are off on an adventure. I hope that the needles the doc gave me will protect me from any nasties. And if anyone really wants to know i return on 26/2 and if you ask (may the forces of the universe protect u if you do) i will tell you alllllllll about vietnam.
  bye for now kathryn
Comment by Ned – Tuesday 1 February 2005, 6:03 PM: Vietnam sounds interesting – I wish I could go overseas.

09.02.2005 – Wednesday 9 February – Samuel

: • Woke up at Bronwen’s, went into the city, did some shopping, trained home. Drove and got chips for Joe.
10:58pm: • It’s remarkably hot. It has been nastily hot all day, but it should have cooled down by now.

17.02.2005 – Thursday 17 February – Lecture Theatres, Mobile Phones & A Drastic Lack of Sleep

: • After not sleeping very much, I realised at some ridiculous hour that I had to be at uni by eight o’clock. This was something of a problem given the circumstances, but Bronwen drove me to uni and I got there just on eight, and made my way down to Prentice, where I was given a tour of what I’ll have to do in the mornings. I then made my way to Govinda’s for sustenance, bought a mobile phone, and trained to Fairfield where I went to the library to pick up “The Snow Leopard”. It was here that it all of a sudden hit me – and I realised just how little sleep I’d had over the past few nights. I had just bought a milkshake, and got lost out the back of the supermarket somehow, so had just walked through a small service corridor and out into a courtyard – where I walked directly into another man. I literally walked right into him – our faces hit. I didn’t even see him, I’ve a feeling I may have been sleepwalking, although I’m not sure what he was doing. Unsurprisingly, my milkshake didn’t stop as fast as I did, and much of it shared itself with my unintended protagonist, who found himself in a dazed state of shock and wandered off insisting he was ok. I wiped myself off with a rag provided by a cleaner who had, ironically, just cleaned the area I cleverly sprayed with milkshake, and went and hid under a stairwell at the train station and had giggling fits.
Night: • Once I arrived home I found out that Joe had, coincidentally, also bought a mobile phone today. I also found out that my dinner was essentially inedible, so I essentially didn’t eat it, after essentially eating most of it, which essentially made me feel sick.
Comment by Reubot – Thursday 24 February 2005, 10:19 PM: Did you get a job at ITS or something?

18.02.2005 – Friday 18 February – Stradbroke Island

: • Today, the great search for a phone case was begun. It seems my model is relatively rare – at least, none of the major phone shops had cases to suit, and I’d all but given up when I was walking past Dollars and Sense on the way to Maz’s, and popped in there – finding a case and hands-free kit, well below the cost the phone shops would have charged anyway. Loki was at Maz’s, where I stayed a while before being dropped at Bronwen’s, packing things, and heading out to Stradbroke. It was fairly late by the time we arrived, so we pretty much just put up a tent and went to bed.

28.02.2005 – Monday 28 February – Uni, Work & Sleep

5:30am: • I attempted to wake up, got ready, and propped myself against a pole at the bus stop. I then made my way sleepily onto a uni-bound CityCat via Hungry Jacks, arriving in uni just on time.
7am: • I presented myself for my first day of work, on time and not entirely asleep.
10am: • I went to my first COMS4200 lecture, still mostly asleep. I had found myself apprehensive about the start of this semester, as I didn’t think I’d like any of the courses I had enrolled in, and wasn’t at all sure that attempting COMS4200 was a good idea. After the lecture, though, I found myself thinking ahead to what I’d do during the semester, and what I’d learn, and almost looking forward to it. I guess I should seek counselling now before it’s too late.
Afternoon: • I discovered that it’s now impossible to access my email from the labs, and that they’ve implemented a quota system, which gives us 150 MB per month. While this new system has presumably lifted the annoying rate limiting that was previously in use, 150 MB seems amazingly stingy given the fees we’re paying and the status the university pretends to hold. Maz turned up for me to whinge to and we went and saw EPSA to figure out if we were able to undertake the course we’re enrolled in, and then went and found Clint so I could whinge to him, and check my email. Clint wanted to go to Umart, so we did, stopping off at Kieran’s on the way back, walking to Indooroopilly, and then a bus and train home. For the first time ever, I slept and missed my station, waking at the next station and having to wait for a train back.
Comment by Maz – Thursday 3 March 2005, 12:42 AM: HAHA. i didnt know you missed your stop.
You convinced me to do COMS after i missed the first lecture, it had better not be too hard.

05.03.2005 – Saturday 5 March – Kickboxing

: • I was driven up to the Ettamogah Pub, where we met my sister, Shan and Kylie – all of who were fighting in the night’s kickboxing.
Shan: • Shan had the first fight out of the three – and he was knocked out within a second of starting – very disappointing for him but quite impressive. His opponent just walked up and knocked him out – appearing very confident and looking, at least to me, pre-planned. While it was his opponent’s first Kickboxing fight, he had apparently had “no rules” fights before, and while I suppose Shan should have blocked the punch, it was essentially a fluke.
Kylie: • Kylie-Anne was the next out of the three to fight. I honestly can’t remember that much about her fight right now, but I think she fought well, but was then punched or kicked and didn’t get up – not knocked out, but a “technical knock out”.
Sarah: • Sarah had the last fight of the three, and also lost her fight. She was clearly winning in the first round, but then a kick to the body left her unable to fight – a “technical knock out”, and, I suppose, a fair, but no doubt disappointing, fight.
: • After the fights we all went clubbing, except the queues were rather slow and large and the music expected to be uninspiring. Because of this, I ended up wandering along the beach instead, cuddling and watching the waves break onto rocks, after which I spent the night with Vince and Sarah.

25.03.2005 – Friday 25 March – Stradbroke

: • Natalie phoned to see if I could meet her in the city tonight. Bronwen also sent an SMS and phoned to see if I would head out to Stradbroke.
: • I, hereafter referred to as we, trained into the city, and from there to Cleveland, and from there to North Stradbroke, via a smallish ferry. We then drove to the other end of the island, set up camp, and proceeded to move sand into the tent, and relax.

08.04.2005 – Friday 8 April – File Transfer Server-Clients & Excellent Tutoring

10:30am: • I attended a presentation for tutoring excellence, where I was awarded for being an excellent tutor, along with three others, and four others who were nearly excellent, and where I nearly choked to death. After chatting to Ken and Darren for half an hour at the presentation, I headed up to their office to complain about losing half of half a mark for allowing the thirty-first of April as a date, and ended up chatting for another half hour, and gaining some insight into what they’re trying to do with this course, but not my half of half a mark.
: • I had read the entire FTP RFC on the train into uni, to get into the mood. Once there, Maz and Craig worked on their coding for our COMS4200 assignment, while I wrote the documentation and anything else still needed. It was due at three, and we submitted it on the dot of three, having not had time to write a makefile, and accidentally submitting a non-working version. We then rushed up to see the lecturer, only to find that all groups of three had received an extension until midnight tomorrow. This met with a bemused, although appreciative, response after we’d just spent all day stressing to meet a three o’clock deadline and then effectively missed it.
Night: • I rushed around at work, getting quite hot, as I’d decided to test many things because it was raining and there was almost no one at uni.
: • Bronwen called and invited me home, and then came and picked me up.
Comment by krait – Thursday 14 April 2005, 12:59 PM: Congratulations on not nearly choking.
Comment by Ned – Friday 15 April 2005, 10:05 AM: Thanks.
Comment by kathryn – Friday 15 April 2005, 9:56 PM: today i turned 20
Comment by Ned – Tuesday 19 April 2005, 12:34 AM: Happy Birthday! :-)

18.04.2005 – Monday 18 April – Networks Two Exam

10am: • I had planned to get to uni early and study for my COMS4200 mid-semester exam. I even set my alarm for half past six – and even woke up then, but experienced some technical difficulties getting out of bed, not arriving at uni until after eight o’clock. I made up some study time by catching the City Cat in rather than the bus, and studying on it. For the actually exam, I used up all the time given, but managed to answer all the questions, so am hoping for a good mark but only time (or the lecturer) will tell.
Noon: • Noon, used here in its traditional sense as the ninth hour from sunrise, occurred around about the time I finally actually began working on my COMS4200 assignment.
5pm: • I had my first CSSE3004 group meeting. As it was the initial meeting, I’d not prepared anything (not knowing what others would prepare and being too lazy to risk duplication of effort). We all chatted for an hour, not coming up with anything life changing, but arranging what we need to do for the coming week and next meeting.

23.04.2005 – Saturday 23 April – Introduction to Psychology: Developmental, Social, & Clinical Psychology Exam

: • I had planned to head into uni early to study, but the best laid plans of mice and men are easily thwarted by beautiful women. Maz and I did manage to read the first eighth of the first chapter, and the headings for each section of most of the second chapter. This is probably not comprehensive study, but I was finished by the end of perusal nonetheless, and I got nineteen out of twenty-four correct. That is why you should never go to a psychologist. Maz went to sleep in his exam.

24.04.2005 – Sunday 24 April – Mount Barney

: • Bronwen and I walked up Mount Barney until it got dark where we, very fortunately, found a tent-sized flat spot amongst the rocks and cliffs.

27.04.2005 – Wednesday 27 April – Defying Death & Cheese Pizza

8:55am: • I saw a man assault another man, and several other men then assault that man, while the ubiquitous insane female provocateur screamed abuse, before hauling them all off to the police station.
9:24am: • I saw a man practicing his swing with his umbrella, echoing through the hallway when he hit the wall of the lift, going up.
9:43am: • I got my PSYC1030 marks – nineteen out of twenty four, where the average is, according to some student on the psychology forums, just over seventeen with a standard deviation of just under three. This means I’ve just missed out on my preferred one standard deviation above average mark. I also found an almost dead baby gecko on the lab floor, and took it outside to enjoy the rain.
2pm: • I’ve just got back from Indooroopilly, where I went with Kieran, Maz and Clint, and ate some nice “green goo” while they ate fried chicken. We then headed to a Microsoft talk, all about their hiring processes – and how bad human resources are. I then headed back to the labs to work on our COMS4200 assignment.
4:20pm: • Now not feeling so well, probably due to eating most of a cheese pizza at the Microsoft thing, I’ve decided to head out for a little walk in the light misty rain that’s drifting down outside, before going to work.
12:21am: • Really sick. Still at uni. Still working on COMS4200 Assignment of Death.
2:01am: • My head is pounding. Standing up seems dangerous. Pointers chirp and tweet like shiny bluebirds, referencing and dereferencing themselves with gay abandon.
2:45am: • Maz and I are now packing up in readiness for leaving these cursed and damned hellholes of abomination, with their smugly satisfied, quietly whirring machines of madness.

28.04.2005 – Thursday 28 April – Sick

: • I slept right through until Maz woke me up. I was tired enough that the layered waking habits of his flatmates didn’t even wake me – or perhaps they were quiet. Unfortunately though, I didn’t feel any better when I woke. I attended three hours of CSSE3004, learning what to do if I’m ever forced to crash land on the moon, two hundred miles from my mother ship and with only fifteen items. I then went hunting at Indooroopilly with Kieran and Maz, bagging myself a small dhal, spinach, potato and rice punnet, which I ate on the bus back to uni. The bus stop was swarming with yellow-shirted union supporters on their way into the city on free charter buses, presumably paid by our union fees.
2:15pm: • I sat at the uni doctor’s for three quarters of an hour, before being seen and told that I definitely can’t work on my COMS4200 assignment until at least Sunday. I then emailed the lecturer requesting an extension, as none of my group can work over the long weekend, and now I sit here, feeling terrible, and wondering if yoghurt from the Ville would help.
4:48pm: • I’m going to head down to the Ville and use scientific analysis to find out if yoghurt is what I need right now.
Night: • Work wasn’t particularly fun while sick.

16.05.2005 – Monday 16 May – Mt Coot-Tha

: • COMS4200 was its usual self. He skipped the tutorial to work on CSSE3004, and attended a meeting for this, which he had to leave after only twenty minutes so that he could get to the city in time. He stood at the back, in the slipstream around the side of the City Cat, feeling like a dog out of a car window – and the spray lightly on his face.
She arrived, as a beautiful mermaid, gliding through oceans of people as they faded into insignificance.
They walked, talked, drove, and bought pides. They saw the city, as a sea of ghost lights – a stadium extraordinaire, without depth or end. Then they got cold. The funny thing was, Maz and Hollie arrived as they were sitting there, merely metres away – yet neither knew.

17.05.2005 – Tuesday 17 May – Prince Charles Hospital & Gay Mushrooms

Morning: • Despite staying in bed longer than expected, I arrived at uni in time to print my PSYC1030 notes, buy a pie and get my ubiquitous milkshake – coffee and vanilla this morning. I then spent an hour at my two-hour PSYC1030 lecture, which was as bad as usual, except perhaps worse. Today we discussed what created gender – despite the answer being incredibly obvious, apparently no psychologist has yet worked it out. The second hour was on measurement – so Maz and I skipped it. Somewhat suitably, the morons from the UQUnion had put hundreds of little pink flags all over the grassy knoll near the main refectory. As far as I could tell, each one represented one gay student. Sadly, I couldn’t think of any way of burning or mowing them down without being mobbed or arrested. People are mushrooms. Union representatives are toadstools. I’m not sure what cane toads are.
Afternoon: • I inadvertently caught the most indirect bus possibly to Prince Charles Hospital, which didn’t matter, as I still had to wait ages to be seen. It wasn’t quite what I expected – I lay in the lap of an attractive woman, while she smeared jelly all over me for half an hour. She then asked if I’d be interested in attending a sleep study. They call this an electrocardiogram.
Night: • I went to Govinda’s, slept on the train, and arrived home remarkably early – just after dark.

08.06.2005 – Wednesday 8 June – Haunted Washing Machines

Morning: • I venture uniwards, passing Michel’s Patisserie where I am sorely tempted and stop to eat a slice of cake with ice cream before purchasing a six-inch “Veggie Delite” from Subway to eat on the bus. I then figure that I should indulge myself with a healthy, calcium-enriching thick shake from the ice creamery at uni to counteract my unhealthy breakfast. I wouldn’t normally have bought one, of course, but this is my eighth in a row and hence free, so I figured I should.
Evening: • I’ve done very little study, but on the positive side I’ve half implemented a JavaScript calendar for my journal, eaten Mix Veggie Satay from Chez Tessa, chatted to Corrosive and Clint, put holds on textbooks, and still have one of the two yoghurts I bought from Coles left. It’s now nicely dark outside, and feeling somewhat guilty at my lack of study, I shall head home.
Night: • My phone cable arrived, but isn’t currently working – it seems I need different software for my phone, which I’ve now downloaded but can’t be bothered rebooting to try it out just yet. This living in a haunted house thing is starting to get to me, which is odd as I’ve never been bothered by it before. I put my washing in the machine, and sat at my computer working on getting the new calendar in my journal working – which it now is. I then went down to see if my washing was finished, and found that the machine was spewing out water all over the place, and all the knobs were set to unusual positions – positions they couldn’t get to by themselves. I fixed that, and as I was hanging out my washing, outside in the dark, I began to think... and the more I thought, the worse it was. Fear feeds off fear, and no logic can requite my imagination. I wasn’t sure if looking behind me was facing my fear, or admitting that something might be there. I tried reasoning with common sense – I’ve lived here for ages now, and only once before been afraid, so it’s silly being scared now. It seemed like good logic when I began to think it, but halfway through it occurred to me that the washing machine has never spat out water before either, and the very fact that I’ve never been worried before, but have now been worried the past few nights I’ve spent here, is actually more worrying than I had originally worried. Why the sudden change, or shouldn’t I even be contemplating that? And now, how can I ever get out into the hall to get to the bathroom to brush my teeth?
Then I spilt my cream all over my seat. I had to go to the kitchen for cleaning things. I had no choice. The fact that it’s a quarter to three isn’t a good thing either, as I have to be up ridiculously early.
Comment by io – Friday 10 June 2005, 8:51 AM: To the dark side young Padawan, fear leads.
Comment by Mum – Tuesday 14 June 2005, 9:07 PM: Is no problem. Light incense, blitzkrieg the area with Mahamantra, make the sign of the cross through your self, and relax. Repeat at night and morning, especially before bed (dont really need the incense) and have faith. The Name of the Saviour sufficeth.

14.06.2005 – Tuesday 14 June – Advanced Information Technology Exam

6:30am: • My alarm went off. This is a bad way to start the day.
Morning: • Here I am at uni, trying to start study, but checking the internet first, in case it’s changed. I went to the bank and deposited my Adsense Cheque. I also found out what the mysterious new account was. I then went to Coles and bought yoghurt.
5:20pm: • Now going to exam soon – panicking, have not done enough study.
5:45pm: • I sit my CSSE3004 exam. We’re only allowed one piece of pink scribble paper – this is strictly specified. Some people had their calculators taken off them because they had too many buttons. We are only allowed the most basic calculators. People look sort of funny, all serious and third year, but with their younger sister’s primary school calculator.
Night: • Maz gives me a lift back to Bronwen’s, where I spend the night.

15.06.2005 – Wednesday 15 June – Introduction to Psychology: Developmental, Social, & Clinical Psychology Exam

6:40am: • Ned’s alarm went off ten minutes ago. Ned didn’t hear it. Ned’s alarm goes off again. Ned wakes up. Ned is confused – his alarm has gone off ten minutes late. Ned remembers that Maz is coming any time after seven. Ned runs to the shower.
Anytime after Seven: • Maz comes. Maz’s driver-side windscreen wiper has cleverly stopped, and his passenger-side windscreen wiper obligingly hasn’t. This causes a regrettable conflict between the two, leaving Maz and Ned with a blurry and inaccurate worldview where cars loom suddenly into sight, only to disappear again when their brake lights go out.
8am: • Ned attends his PSYC1030 exam. He sits in the purple section, and answers half of his sixty four multi-choice questions by the end of perusal. Due to there being no logical answers for any of the remaining questions, Ned uses clever techniques such as imagination and “What would Clint do” to answer them, and leaves twenty minutes into the exam. He finds out later that Maz used episodes of Law and Order to answer his, so perhaps this technique is more standard than he originally thought.
Afternoon: • Ned and Maz go and visit Kieran. They all go to Indooroopilly, and look at large televisions at Harvey Norman. Ned is hungry and orders Green Goo with Hungry Jack’s Orange Juice. Kieran has removed all the keys from his keyboard, and neatly laid them out in rows. He then spends the entire afternoon putting them back in, one by one and some upside down. Ned reads a computer magazine and watches Maz playing Xbox. Maz plays Xbox and watches Ned reading a computer magazine. Both of them occasionally watch Kieran putting keys back into his keyboard.
Evening: • Ned goes to Govinda’s for food. He then meets Bronwen, who is cold, and they head back to her place. Ned had not originally expected there to be any trains running today, as they had planned a rail strike, although as it turns out, this was resolved.
Comment by io – Monday 20 June 2005, 1:47 PM: Haha, so Kieran doesn't know where his keys go without laying them out meticulously in order?

20.06.2005 – Monday 20 June – Web Information Systems Exam

: • Staying up until half past four last night ranks as one of the more stupid things I’ve done recently – right up there with eating a whole banana cake I bought on special. Perhaps unsurprisingly, I didn’t feel all that enthused about getting up early and heading to uni, but as my INFS3202 exam loomed fearfully close, I had no choice.
Morning: • I bravely trained to uni and spent the morning studying INFS3202. “Studying” is perhaps not the right word – I simply indexed the lecture notes and tutorial answers. I didn’t have time to try to understand anything, and as I haven’t attended a single lecture or tutorial for this course, there was a lot that I didn’t understand. The theory is that, as the exam is open-book, if I can develop a comprehensive index, I should be able to look up anything fast enough that I can work out the answer during the exam. This is probably not the best study technique out there, but it’s the only one I know that doesn’t require a lot of time or effort.
Afternoon: • Clint, Maz, Kieran, a girl I met in the library, and my fantastic self, tried studied past exams for a while but actually spent more time arguing about decidedly irrelevant things.
: • Kieran recommended me to Marius, and I got asked if I wanted to tutor COMP3502 next semester.
5:45pm: • I sat my INFS3202 exam. I’ll have to wait and see what result I get, as I can’t predict how well I went, but my index worked well and I finished the exam with twenty minutes to spare. I had two questions I was unable to make sense of, and a third that had almost no information about it in the lecture notes or tutorials. I got the first struck from the exam as it actually was nonsensical, the second I was told I’d just have to “pick one” so I’m guessing my understanding was at fault, and the third I guessed and may get part marks. One questionable advantage of getting almost no sleep is that I couldn’t be bothered to stress or worry, or even check my answers.
Night: • Clint, Kieran and I drove to Indooroopilly, where nothing was open, and then back to the Ville, where we bought dinner. I then wasted some time with Clint until I noticed how late it had become. I got the second last train home, arriving well after midnight, which won’t leave me with a lot of sleep tonight either.

23.06.2005 – Thursday 23 June – Networks II Exam

Morning: • I set two alarms just to make sure I didn’t sleep in, and then managed to sleep in anyway – fortunately for only ten minutes or so. Joe drove me to the train so I wouldn’t miss it, and skimmed my COMS4200 lecture notes on the way to uni.
11:15am: • I sat my COMS4200 exam. It wasn’t as bad as I was expecting, although I finished with only minutes to spare. I felt that I had gone well in the mid-semester exam, and then got an awful mark, so I’m not going to draw any conclusions from this one until I see the results.
Night: • It was very, very cold. I walked to a nice and warm Indian place for dinner, but nearly froze getting there.
: • I spent the cold night warm with Bronwen, at her place.

26.06.2005 – Sunday 26 June – Cairns & Home

6am: • We all woke up and got ready, leaving for the airport shortly after half past.
7:45am: • Our Virgin Blue Boeing 737-800 executed a successful takeoff, flew for a couple of hours, and successfully landed in Cairns.
10:15am: • We met Shan and Kylie at Cairns airport, picked up our luggage and drove to Cairns Central for a milkshake and breakfast. Unfortunately, Cairns doesn’t seem to have any good milkshake places, so it was a small, expensive, and rather average milkshake. I then bought some shoes.
Afternoon: • We drove home via the coast road. This was perhaps not the best idea, as the creek crossings were only borderline passable for a conventional vehicle. Fortunately, we didn’t actually have any problems – lightly hitting some rocks and taking on a little water but nothing serious.
Night: • We went for a quick walk down to the Home Rule Bridge and then spent the evening talking to Dad and Mum.

27.06.2005 – Monday 27 June – Cooktown

: • After a pleasant sleep in and waking to birdsong, we drove into Cooktown where we had a quick walk along the main street, did some shopping, ate nachos, and then headed home again. We went for a walk out the Home Rule road in the afternoon, before a eating a nice dinner and watching “Pirates of the Caribbean”.

11.07.2005 – Monday 11 July – Bronwen Heads Home

: • A lazy day spent talking preceded a drive into town, and subsequently the aerodrome, where Bronwen departed.
Comment by io – Friday 15 July 2005, 3:31 AM: Aww.. How sad.
Comment by Ned – Friday 15 July 2005, 3:08 PM: It is, but I am surviving!

19.07.2005 – Tuesday 19 July – Silas & Cairns

: • I packed, chatted to my parents, was driven into Cooktown, and flew to Cairns. The flight was nicely uneventful. I took many pictures of an amazing sunset as we were flying over the clouds. Once in Cairns, Silas picked me up from the airport and we drove out to one of the beaches where he bought a car, which I then drove back to his place. Silas himself went to bed at a reasonable time, but I stayed up until very late chatting to one of his flatmates.

20.07.2005 – Wednesday 20 July – Cairns, Silas, Darryl & Raymond

Morning: • Silas woke up, we had a chat, and then he headed into work. I went back to bed, not feeling remarkably awake. I woke up some time later when Darryl woke up, and showered and got a lift with her to Westcourt and a bus from there into the city.
Day: • Raymond forced me to eat an Indian curry as fast as I could, by insisting on coming and seeing me with exactly ten minutes warning. We went for a walk along the Esplanade, and then drove out to Earlville where we spent the afternoon watching “Bewitched” and “The Fantastic Four”. Neither were very good, with “Bewitched” earning itself three quarters of “The Fantastic Four”, which in turn earned itself one and a third of “Bewitched”, at a quarter of a true lie. Still, they filled the evening and were entertaining, which is their purpose I suppose.
Night: • My Jetstar Airbus A320-200 was twenty-five minutes late, due to a 180 kilometre an hour headwind, not arriving until after eleven o’clock. I had a nice sleep on the way down, and a very nice Bronwen waiting for me.
Comment by io – Sunday 31 July 2005, 11:33 PM: Well you could have suggested 15 minutes before I arrived...
Comment by Ned – Monday 1 August 2005, 5:30 PM: But you insisted...

25.07.2005 – Monday 25 July – Uni, Spiegeltent & The Genes

Day: • I attended uni, where I finished building an Apache, PHP and MySQL installer for COMP1800. This theoretically simple task has been hindered by ridiculous installer problems and several university hardware failures – but I think it’s all finished now.
Night: • Bronwen and I went and saw two bands at the Spiegeltent. It is a strange thing – an ornate (apparently hand-sewn) wooden tent from Bavaria, full of a lot of mirrors and stained glass. I can’t remember what the first act was, but the second, “The Genes”, were quite energetic and enjoyable. A pleasant night was had.
Comment by DM – Saturday 30 July 2005, 11:54 AM: What installer program did you end up using?
Comment by Ned – Saturday 30 July 2005, 1:46 PM: The installer I was having problems with was the Microsoft one.

27.08.2005 – Saturday 27 August – Introduction to Psychology: Physiological & Cognitive Psychology Exam

Morning: • Ned found himself at uni, walking through throngs of huddled women, sitting, hiding themselves away against the walls like so many pretty-coloured mushrooms in a field. He half expected to stumble upon a baby-faced black and white cow, chewing on a grass straw with a soulful expression of peace and tranquillity – a stark contrast to that the women bore as they waited for their PSYC1020 exam. Ned found his PSYC1020 exam surprisingly stressful, but not because of its content; rather, he wished to be the first to finish the exam and so worked fast, fearing that if he didn’t someone else would beat him. As it turned out, not only did he manage to complete the exam during perusal and be the first out of the room, he only got two questions wrong. This would be as impressive as it sounds if the exam weren’t a twenty-four question multi-choice exam and the average mark over eighteen. Ned can’t help wondering if panic studying works; despite his best efforts, he managed to avoid any study at all until this morning, when he fit in about an hour’s worth of note reading before becoming sick of it.
Afternoon: • Ned went back to Maz’s with Maz, and then to Kieran’s for cake delivery. After this, he made his way out to Griffith’s Nathan Campus, then from there to Joe’s house. He ate Indian Takeaway for dinner and discussed Joe’s new television.
Night: • Bronwen spent the night at Joe’s with me.

28.09.2005 – Wednesday 28 September – Cairns, Sun, Cars & Bikinis

4am: • What a day. I’m nearly delirious and have half lost my voice. It all began at four o’clock, which is a horrible time to have to get up, particularly after only a few hours sleep. I woke up, finished a little bit of packing, and walked through the dark to the train station. I was surprised to find that there are actually quite a few people on such an early train. I drank half a litre of milk on the way to the city (which kept me awake nicely) and changed to the airport train with only a few minutes spare, but arrived with plenty of time – even getting a blue early arrival ticket. The flight itself was non-eventful, and partially empty. The middle few rows of seats were closed off to keep the plane balanced, and I got a whole row to myself so could lie (or at least slouch) down and get a bit of sleep.
9:10am: • Cairns is hot. I began my return by getting ripped off by a taxi driver. I shared a cab with another girl from the plane, assuming we’d split the fare down the middle, as per usual; however, the cab driver asked the girl sitting in front if she’d be happy paying $10 each, which she was, and then didn’t turn the trip meter on – it was still cheaper than a single fare, but more expensive than it should have been. Once in Cairns, I found the only shady spot at the Esplanade and read my philosophy text for PHIL1000. It was incredibly busy – hundreds of nearly-nude women, several topless, were occupying every available piece of grass, doing their best to permanently ruin their complexion. I got sunburnt legs because, for an hour or so until the sun moved over, they didn’t quite fit under the shade I had found – I hate to think what lying in the sun all day does to people.
Midday: • Silas called, and I headed slowly to Cairns Central, where I had an Indian curry lunch and a chat with him.
Afternoon: • Kylie called, and I met her and Mandi at Cairns Central. They were panicking, trying to get a lot of shopping done in time for an optometrist’s appointment at five. They ended up having to leave their half-filled trolley at the service desk, and rush off to the optometrist. Mandi and I sat and chatted for over an hour, waiting for the optometrist who was apparently also gasbagging. We then rushed back to the supermarket to finish shopping, and then out to the airport to pick up Jade, arriving just in time. Jade hadn’t eaten all day, so we went and bought pizza.
9pm: • I used a paring knife to strip back the insulation from a piece of wire, which I then taped with electrical tape, bush mechanic style, directly to the battery terminal, so that we’d have spotlights and be able to see cows and kangaroos before hitting them on the way home. I noticed another wire hanging loosely near the battery terminal, already bared back and looking as though it shouldn’t be hanging loosely. As I soon found out, the switch controlling the electric radiator fan had broken some time ago, and instead of being replaced or fixed, one simply connected this wire to the battery before driving anywhere that one expected would overheat the engine, and removed it when finished. This task was made a little more difficult by the bonnet – it took two people to open it, as someone had to press down on it while someone else activated the opening lever inside the cabin. Suitably enlightened, we left Cairns and began the windy drive up the Kuranda range, the car getting hotter and hotter on the way up. We kept planning to stop, but Mandi kept saying that the top of the range was just around the bend. We reached the top of the range just as the temperature gauge reached the red, and pulled over anyway – but it was too late. The car boiled over spectacularly, steam hissing from everywhere. Needless to say, we didn’t have any spare water, or even containers. Fortunately for us, a gentleman kindly stopped on his way home from work and, gloomily predicting the permanent demise of the engine should we attempt to drive it anywhere, gave me a lift to the nearest service station. Being closed, and having only managed to find a litre or two of small drink bottles, forced me to resort to emergency measures – I eventually managed to find a large twenty litre bottle of water, which I stole from amongst the oils and other scary chemicals behind the service station. Water in hand, or boot actually, we drove back to the girls, who were hiding in the car with all the lights off – not a good idea when stuck right on the edge of a cliff, with traffic flying past. It had looked a little grim for a while; water that had collected in ridges on the engine kept boiling off in such a way that it looked like the head had cracked, but after refilling the radiator everything seemed to work fine and we headed merrily on our way, keeping a close eye on the temperature gauge and remembering to connect the fan before heading up the next range.
2am: • I arrived home after a semi-delirious drive, which felt, as Jade put it, like being in a movie. For some reason nothing quite seemed real; it seemed that, after I was sick of it, I’d just walk out and catch a train back to Joe’s – rather like, and probably for the same reasons as, the insanity caused by an all-nighter before assignments are due at uni. For some reason there were heaps of wallabies too, although we managed not to hit any. Unsurprisingly, once home I went straight to bed.

01.10.2005 – Saturday 1 October – Philosophically Late & Revelling

Day: • I woke up before nine o’clock, for no apparent reason, which surprised me. I then spent a while doing the usual – messing around with my journal code, implementing a backup to Gmail feature for extra paranoid protection. Then, to satiate my rising guilt at spending my sunny holiday inside at my computer, which is pretty much what I do when I’m not on holiday, I went and philosophised on a rock. Unfortunately, as fate would have it, there were lots of green ants on the rock, directly resulting in causal sensations of pain and discomfort to parts of what I identify as my anatomy, in direct violation of my freewill. I supposed that the green ants did not exist, and that the pain was merely a causeless sensation in my body, quite distinct from me, but I still believed that I experienced pain, even though I had now supposed no cause for it existed. This deeply shook my belief in my philosophy text, to such an extent that I moved to another rock, entirely surrounded by water and on which no world-roving sailor green ant had yet set its grimy feet and sharp pincers. Then, to add insult to injury, when I got back to my computer, I found that the question I had to answer was on fatalism, yet the closest my readings had got to that was determinism – oh, the pain I endure for the betterment of humanity (and my grades, which, based on the way these philosophers are “proving” their arguments, I’m sure any good philosopher could prove were the same thing).
Night: • Dad, Mum and I drove out to the Home Rule Homestead for Shan’s surprise birthday party. The hard work I (along with others) had done yesterday paid off, and the place looked quite nice. Shan arrived an hour or so after us, and was quite shocked – he had thought that a dinner had been organised for him, and had even suspected that there could be a small surprise, such as Sarah being there or something similar, but wasn’t prepared for a large-scale party. People ate lots of food, drank many drinks, went skinny-dipping in the dam, roasted by the bonfire, sang, played guitar, drums and sitar, and generally had a party.
Comment by Reubot – Sunday 2 October 2005, 12:36 AM: PHIL1000 is really rubbing off on you...
Comment by ned martin too – Friday 28 October 2005, 7:51 AM: This is my first visit to your journal. My name is also NED MARTIN. Didnt think there were any others, but wow. nice
Comment by Ned – Friday 28 October 2005, 6:02 PM: I guess there are a few others with the same name out there. Both the dot com and dot net versions of nedmartin.org have been registered by people.

04.10.2005 – Tuesday 4 October – Back to Cairns

Morning: • I spent a semi-relaxing morning packing my entire travelling wardrobe of three changes of clothes ready to head back to Cairns this afternoon. I then ate a nice salad lunch with Dad and Mum, discussing relevant things such as how easy it would be to bypass security at airports, and hence what a waste of time the entire domestic airport screening process is, and wondering why, if they’re so worried about terrorism, they don’t screen passengers on city trains. I’m now waiting for Jade and Mandi, who was originally going to leave around three o’clock, but that was pushed back to four o’clock, and Jade’s now saying they’ll probably leave around half past four or five o’clock because they’re doing some last minute work on the car.
Afternoon: • Mandi and Jade arrived shortly before five o’clock, and we set out – pausing briefly to find out what the thing hanging out the bottom of the car was. The drive to Cairns was uneventful and unexciting, stopping to connect the fan after the engine began to get a bit too warm driving slowly through the dusty sections before Lakeland, stopping again for Pizza in Mareeba, and finally arriving at Silas’s, where I spent the night.
Comment by Maz – Wednesday 5 October 2005, 6:19 PM:   Hehe.. Last minute work on the car before a drive doesn't sound so.. reliable.
  Anyway. Uni work!
  1. PSYC1020 has a lab report due next tuesday. It has to be 500 words. I have the information you need to complete that on my laptop.
  2. PHIL1000 tutorial - I wrote down your name and he didn't seem to notice so you might still get the mark. LOL.
  3. PHIL1020 needs to be done sometime. I haven't done the textbook either so it looks like we're both going to be needing it at the same time. We might need to sit somewhere and work on that.

  You should also change your text at the top of this, "not longer than 185 characters MORE."
Comment by Ned – Thursday 6 October 2005, 9:01 AM: Sigh, back to the grind...
Thanks though, I will have to get stuck into uni work.

05.10.2005 – Wednesday 5 October – Serenity, Cairns & Brisbane

Day: • I caught the bus into Cairns, sat on the Esplanade reading for a few hours, saw “Serenity” at Cairns Central Cinemas, and got a lift back to Silas’s when he knocked off work. This filled in the day nicely, without me getting too hot – not an easy thing to do in Cairns. “Serenity” wasn’t the worst Hollywood movie I’ve seen, although nothing to rant about, and the Esplanade isn’t the worst place to read my philosophy text.
Night: • My flight out was delayed forty minutes while Jetstar changed their broken plane for another broken one, and then fixed the second one. The flight was full, even though several rows of seats were closed off to increase efficiency, and they boarded from both ends of the plane, so I sat in the middle in the over-wing exit row, which has a lot more legroom, and slept.
10:40pm: • I arrived back in Brisbane, three quarters of an hour later than I should have, met the Beautiful Bronwen, and wished it wasn’t so hot.

14.10.2005 – Friday 14 October – Final Demonstration

8:50am: • I arrive at uni before eight o’clock, pretending not to be mostly asleep, and head down to the labs where I find Q Group preparing for our nine o’clock demonstration, extremely stressed. Robert, our presenter, hasn’t turned up yet. Mark has run out of print quota, and has to submit things ten minutes ago. I give Mark some money for print quota. The printer has run out of paper. Matthew finds paper. I phone Robert. Robert arrives. Jervina discovers that the desktop application won’t run without Eclipse, and we’re not allowed to run the system from a development environment. Robert and Jervina manage to write a batch file that runs the application without Eclipse. We all run for the lift.
9am: • Q Group attends their CSSE3004 final demonstration, where their demonstration runs flawlessly, right up until they run out of time. In fact, Ken and Darren were interested enough in the system to allow the group to run ten minutes overtime, only stopping them when there is a logical break in the demonstration. This is fortunate, as had the group been stopped precisely on twenty minutes, they would have been unable to demonstrate a large proportion of their programme’s required functionality. As it was, they were unable to demonstrate their XML database backup and restore functionality, and, much to Johnson’s distress, the fancy scrolling Winamp-style “about” screen. Ironically, the XML backup and restore component along with the “about” screen had both been Johnson’s responsibilities, meaning that very little he himself built was actually demonstrated. Overall Q Group feels that their demonstration was a success, being told at the end that it was “nearly commercial quality”, well thought out, simple but comprehensive, and that it was obvious the group had invested considerable effort into the project, which had paid off in the form of a well-presented, successfully “sold” product, containing more than the required functionality; but still simple, logical, easy to use, and meeting the business requirements. The only criticism, coming from Darren, was that the colouration used in various reports was not what it probably should have been—an ironic statement as the same colouration had elicited praise from Darren during the individual component demonstrations.
Lunch: • Half of Q Group went their separate ways; to work on other assignments or whatever it is they do, while the Jervina, Mark, Ned, and later Johnson, had lunch at Grinder’s, discussing the project and life in general. In some ways, this is a sad moment—essentially the end of Ned’s IT degree—as the only significant assessment he has remaining is in philosophy or psychology.
Afternoon: • Ned cleverly bought himself an airplane ticket from Sydney to Brisbane, on the correct day, at the correct time, with the correct flight number, and precisely one month too early. This cost him $89, and would have cost him $75 had he not decided to check another fare halfway through the ordering process, and then accidentally choose the wrong month when renewing the order. He then discovered that it would cost quite a lot more to change, so he rushed to a phone, pleaded plaintively to a girl at the airline, and managed to get the changing fee waived. Unfortunately, even with the fee waived, his $75 flight cost him $104. This is why he should never do anything when running on no sleep and directly after frying his brain with stressful assessment.
After his exciting trip to the payphone to discuss airline economics, he sat in the hallway at GPS and chatted to Mark and Kieran and whoever else walked past for the rest of the evening, until he had to go to the Ville for dinner (getting a lift with Kieran) and then on to work.
Comment by io – Tuesday 18 October 2005, 10:00 AM: Well done with your achievements in your IT degree and may you reap rewards from your lack of sleep next year. I however hopefully am about to start a new degree geared around music or ARTS aka bludging.
Comment by Ned – Tuesday 18 October 2005, 10:00 AM: Thanks ;-)
Comment by Clint – Tuesday 18 October 2005, 10:00 AM:   Following your three years of studious study and achievement, I hope THE PLANE CRASHES AND YOU DIE!

  You have to admit, it'd be funny for the rest of us. Sort of.
Comment by Jojo – Tuesday 18 October 2005, 10:00 AM:   so your saying because they liked your demo and product theat you were allowed to go for 30 mintues of presenting.... and were not capped exactly on 20 minutes....!!!???

  this sounds interesting indeed!

  (as our group was capped right on 20minutes....)
Comment by Ned – Tuesday 18 October 2005, 10:00 AM: I urge as many people as possible to complain about as many facets of this course as possible. I don’t think it was possible to demonstrate full functionality in twenty minutes without unrealistically reducing the spoken component—it wouldn’t be possible to both demonstrate and “sell” the product in twenty minutes, and given the length of, and importance attached to, this course, not being given enough time to demonstrate such a significant component is an insult.
An “independent review” of the course is being conducted over the summer semester. Also, Ken is running the first year IT project (COMP1800) over the summer semester, and attempting to take over its running for subsequent semesters. He plans to introduce industry components into the course, claiming that this is better than the current academic manner of running such courses. I urge everyone to strongly oppose this.

26.10.2005 – Wednesday 26 October – Introductory Philosophy Exam

Morning: • I arrived at uni early, picked up the projector from the funny people who live at the helpdesk, and set it up in the labs for more COMP1800 demos. Today was rather busy, with three hours of four groups per hour, each being given fifteen minutes to demonstrate, then half an hour for the next four groups to setup, leaving no time for mistakes—or food.
Afternoon: • I had nachos from Grinder’s with Maggie, then walked down to the Ville, where I met Clint and bought a bottle of Pepsi (it being on special) to keep me awake for my upcoming PHIL1000 exam, for which I’ve done almost no study. I spent a little under half an hour in the exam room before the exam, looking up each article I was supposed to have read (many of which I had, but could no longer remember), reading the first few lines and the last few lines, and trying to remember the rough gist of it. This probably isn’t a very good study technique, but I didn’t have time for much else. The exam was forty multi-choice questions, with five marks awarded for each correct answer, and one deducted for each incorrect answer, and all questions having to be answered. I’m hoping there were no trick questions, because I answered them based on the “oh, I vaguely remember that sentence, so it must be the correct answer”—which will fail miserably if questions had realistic answers, but not for that particular question.
Night: • Maz and I caught a bus to Toowong, where I bought Subway and he some chicken thing from “Superchicken”. We sat and chatted to Cassie and a friend of hers for a while, before I caught the train home. Getting in was difficult, it seems the front door has swollen up from the recent rain. There was a bloke at the train station playing the harmonica, and it got me thinking—rather than feeling elated at having completed another exam, I actually feel a little sad; as each exam is completed, I come closer to closing another chapter of my life. I have become quite used to, and quite good at, this uni thing. I’m not a straight-seven’s student, but then I don’t try to be. I can pass with what I consider reasonable marks with almost trivial ease, investing the bare minimum of effort. I’ve become used to the social scene, for want of a better word, and overall it’s quite an enjoyable, slack lifestyle—and one that’s fast ending. That said, I don’t think I could bring myself to do honours, which would give me another year at uni, as I’ve yet to think of anything I’d be passionate enough about to bother achieving my full potential; a boring honours project would see me struggling to find the motivation to complete it. There’s so many other things I’d like to do—there’s a whole world out there that I’ve yet to see—but I’m still sad that this university phase of my life is finally coming to its end.

28.10.2005 – Friday 28 October – The last day of semester

9am: • I had to attend a “post-implementation review” lecture for CSSE3004, which roughly translated, means nothing. My group and I, along with everyone else in the course, sat through two hours of management mumbo-jumbo, including a demonstration of the desktop system of the group who won best project—which wasn’t at all impressive, so I’m curious why they won—and listen to all the other students selling their souls to the course goals.
Noon: • Julie and I began marking COMP1800 websites. This is going to be painful and slow.
Afternoon: • I attended my last day at work.

11.11.2005 – Friday 11 November – Introduction to Psychology: Physiological & Cognitive Psychology Exam

5am: • Getting up at five o’clock is actually quite invigorating; I think I may do it again some day. The zombies on the early morning train don’t even make annoying noises like in the movies—or the afternoon.
7:04am: • Fancy being at uni at this time of the morning without having stayed all night, it’s unheard of. At this rate, I confidently suspect I’ll be able to start study by around eight o’clock.
8:18am: • Internet, go away—it is time to study and I must learn all of PSYC1020 before eleven o’clock.
8:48am: • Study phase one now complete. All notes read without thinking, as fast as accurately possible, and information hopefully suitably transferred from short-term memory to long-term memory and linked to high-speed stressful conditions similar to an exam, for easy recall during exam. I am now in standby awaiting the arrival of Maz.
10:30am: • Final study/panic phase now commencing—walk to exam room and sit outside somewhere quietly panicking and reading notes. Just before exam, try to think about something unrelated in an attempt to relax.
11:15am: • Maz and I attended our PSYC1020 exam. I have no idea how I went—seventy-two four-option multiple-choice questions, so I’m very unlikely to have failed, but probably fairly unlikely to have got good marks. I think multi-choice should be banned, as it doesn’t accurately test anything at all. On the plus side, multi-choice is less stressful.
: • Interestingly, there was a girl in the exam with her breast exposed. I assume it was an accident, but a little odd nonetheless.
Afternoon: • Kieran, Maz and I had a long lunch at a café under the Institute for Molecular Bioscience, meeting Tim and Clint there.
Evening: • I studied PHIL1020 with Kieran and Maz for an hour or so in a study room at the engineering library, before moving up to level six of GPS until it got too dark to see, and then going down to the Ville for dinner before heading home. I am not in a very good position for this exam, as this is the first time I’ve even looked at the subject matter for this course, and it’s all logic and set theory rubbish.
Night: • I didn’t manage to leave uni until nine o’clock, getting home late. There was a spunkily dressed (or scantily clad—I like “-ily” words) girl zonked or otherwise incapacitated at the station, which is roughly equivalent to a neon “rape me” sign, so I felt uncomfortable leaving her there and didn’t actually get home until ridiculously late, meaning it was going on one o’clock by the time I actually got to bed.
Comment by Mum – Friday 11 November 2005, 8:38 PM: Whilst the orbs slowly spin, and the world goes on.

12.11.2005 – Saturday 12 November – Introduction to Logic Exam

5:30am: • I woke up, after roughly five hours sleep, and, strangely enough, didn’t really feel like going to uni.
7:11am: • I arrived at uni, having decided to sleep on the train rather than study in the hope that I’d then be more alert at uni and able to study more efficiently.
9am: • Study in the labs isn’t working. Study without answers isn’t much good either, although I did find a somewhat satirical, but probably quite brutally realistic, site about the “Ladder Theory” of human relationships. I think I better head up to the social sciences library and see if I can find the text that actually contains correct answers in high use, and panic rather severely.
11am: • I only stayed in the library for quarter of an hour or so, having found the textbook in high use just as Maz messaged me to say he was coming in with his textbook, so I walked back down to the labs, where I am now, struggling to learn a course in a few hours.
2:30pm: • My PHIL1020 exam was rather uneventful. There were seven questions, all of which I attempted, although I’m not sure to what standard as I’m not confident enough with the subject matter to say whether I was correct or not. Still, just being able to attempt them all is probably a good sign—a few hours ago, I didn’t understand a thing from this course, and my study wasn’t really what anyone could call thorough, what with trips to Subway in the middle and innumerable unrelated conversations.
Evening: • Finishing what is, theoretically, my last ever exam was something of an anti-climax. I don’t feel euphoric, or in fact, anything other than tired. Everyone else had exams to study for, dinners to attend, and various other things to do, so I bussed into the city and went for a walk around South Bank via Cold Rock, watching what looked like a gathering storm, although it hadn’t broken by the time I left.
7:10pm: • I went and saw “Inside Deep Throat” at the Dendy. As far as documentaries go, it was poorly done and presented very little in the way of coherent information, but was actually interesting and had some good discussion on pornography versus censorship, and ironically, showed good evidence that pornography does widespread damage to society while arguing it doesn’t do any to individuals.
Comment by Mum – Sunday 13 November 2005, 9:43 PM: Individuals all massed in a porridge together make up "society", so whatever damage is done to one of the individuals or several of the flamin things, bleeds into the porridge mass of "society" and....."a little leaven, infects the whole stupid mob" (my version of The Script)

15.11.2005 – Tuesday 15 November – Terrorism & Sydney

8am: • I got up, having had less than four hours sleep. Joe drove me to the shops, where I did the shopping I had been unable to do yesterday due to stupid bomb threats, and then onto the train station where I caught the train that would have taken me to the airport had not a hundred or so police swamped it at South Bank station. Someone had reported unattended baggage, and in their paranoid way, they evacuated the entire station and several hundred metres all around its perimeter, and filled it with several different types of police, bomb squad, strange federal agents, Queensland Rail agents, and various other exciting people. It was very ridiculous—there were so many various forms of police and security people that it was hard to walk between them; had a bomb gone off, there would have been more security personnel killed than there were passengers on the train. This also had the more serious side effect that I was, for the second time now, stuck at an evacuated train station on my way to the airport. Some demanding, and a $46 taxi fare to the airport (paid by Queensland Rail) later, I found myself at the airport, fortunately still before my flight departed.
12:56pm: • The doors on the Virgin 737-800 were closed, and we departed for Sydney, with me sitting in seat 17C. There are two wheelchairs, and one stroller onboard, which probably isn’t relevant to anything but there’s nothing else to do sitting here so I might as well notice that.
3:20pm: • I land in Sydney, where all the times are an hour wrong. It is quite cold. I am picked up by Bronwen, Brian and Judy, and driven to their place, where I eat dinner and head to bed.

16.11.2005 – Wednesday 16 November – Sydney, Bondi & Sculptures by the Sea

9:30am: • I walked around the city. My shoes hurt severely and are, I think, faulty, so I went barefoot; buying shoes fifteen minutes before catching a potentially bombed train not all the way to the airport is probably a bad idea, as is going barefoot around Sydney—but so is pain. It rained on and off, and was surprisingly cold and windy. The far lower humidity is quite noticeable. Funny people who walk barefoot through Sydney in the rain seem to be noticeable too. I walked through the botanical gardens, ate Chinese food, caught a bus to Bondi, walked through “Sculptures by the Sea”, and got lost walking back from Bondi, eventually catching a bus, as it got too late and dark. It was very cold and windy at Bondi, and I have blisters on my left foot, but it was quite a pleasant day, and some of the sculptures were quite good—as was the cake.
First: • Today marks Bronwen and my first anniversary.

19.11.2005 – Saturday 19 November – Newcastle & A Birthday Doof

8:30am: • My alarm wakes me, and I head off to the city after some cuddling and a shower.
11:15am: • I catch the Newcastle train from Central, on my way to a rave party. The journey is quite scenic in spots, travelling through secluded mountainous bays and a few tunnels, one of which was quite long. It is a little expensive though, at seventeen dollars.
1:46pm: • I detrain at Broadmeadow and meet Dale, who gives me a short guided tour of Newcastle before going to his place and then onto Karuah where Ragnhild is working. Five litre V8s are good on hills.
4pm: • Dale goes to work, leaving me to wander around Karuah until Ragnhild leaves for the party. There is a scenic river, a park, and a handful of shops struggling to come to terms with the fact that what used to be the highway is now several miles away, bypassing the town.
4:30pm: • Four girls, who had been playing in a park where I was sitting, rode their bikes down a fenced circular path past me. One of them was unable to make the corner and hit the fence, landing sitting in the fence, as if posed—something she, in her shock, then did before collapsing onto the concrete while the other three laughed uncontrollably, unable to help. It had to be seen to be believed—she went from riding far too fast around a tight bend, to sitting demurely poised, stationary in a fence, in an instant; it’s a wonder nothing was broken at the speed she stopped.
Evening: • I hid from a sudden thunderstorm under a bridge, watching small boats fighting the storm, had chips for dinner, and then drove to the rave with Ragnhild. The party was held in quite an interesting place, on a large farm, owned by a professional inventor. It was the ideal place for it really, with a large circular hall filled with lights, lasers, and more smoke than air; and outside large gumtrees, icy-cold fresh air, open paddocks, a large swimming pool, and small river. Littered around the place were various unusual things—prototype perpetual motion machines, scarily powerful super-magnets, frictionless magnetic bearings and drive-trains, Australia’s best preserved Cobb & Co Coach, still with its original straw mailbag, a monster truck able to knock non-trivial trees right over, and a lot of people doing a lot of strange things in a lot of cars. The hot seat of a Cobb & Co Coach (or whatever it is called), is an awful lot smaller and higher than one might think—travelling fast in one of those things would be seriously scary.
Night: • I spent most of the night talking to Ragnhild and the blokes doing the front gate, wandering from the cold bar area to the fire at the front gate to the bonfire near the pool, keeping warm and avoiding the increasingly insane dance floor and car park. Surprisingly, many of the younger people flaked out around two o’clock, with a lot departing, leaving the older—and far more interesting—hardcore ravers to continue all night.

20.11.2005 – Sunday 20 November – Much Doof, Stolen Cars, Police & A Birthday

6am: • The sun is up. This is not particularly good. No one has slept, and no one is looking forward to its bright, hot rays, forcing daytime upon their pumping nighttime world. Ragnhild has just gone to bed, as she has to work in a few hours.
10am: • I had to be back in Sydney by a specific time, for a BBQ and birthday. I knew how long it took to get to Newcastle, and how long it took to get from there to Sydney. I knew how to get to Dale’s place in Newcastle, although only the one way, meaning I had to drive there that specific way or I’d be lost. Ragnhild had even lent me her car to drive there. What could possibly go wrong? Someone could steal someone’s car, as a joke. They could then decide that the police would take a very dim idea to car-theft as a joke, or their lack of licence and current off-their-guts-on-drugs state. This could result in their taking evasive action, followed by an ultimately unsuccessful police chase. The car’s owner could then discover that his wallet, and more importantly, cigarettes, are in his stolen car, and that the only possession of his still on his person is his credit-less mobile phone. He could also be the only person at the rave who happened to urgently need to be somewhere else. Obviously, the clever chap who stole the car would have a flat battery in his phone, so no one could actually find out what had happened, apart from his garbled text message saying something had gone wrong, and I would be the only coherent person around able to both focus on moving objects and move at normal human speeds. Clearly, something like this would only happen if Ragnhild’s car didn’t have enough fuel for the long detour involved in chasing up this stolen car; needless to say, it didn’t, and I arrived in Newcastle via a road other than the single one I knew, meaning I had to be very fortunate to find Dale’s.
4pm: • Fortunately, I’m a very fortunate sort of person, and found Dale’s place with the help of some maps ripped out of the front of a phone book, dumped Ragnhild’s car, got a taxi from there to the train station, and a train back to Sydney, arriving at the BBQ just as the last guests were leaving. Apparently thinking all this is fortunate is the sign of an optimist, which, I’m pessimistically sure, must be a bad thing. After an abortive attempt at going to town for dinner, I eat a few of the myriads of yummy leftovers, and retire to bed tired from my all-nighter last night.

22.11.2005 – Tuesday 22 November – Birds, Babies & Brisbane

: • I went for a walk to Centennial Park and saw skateboarder signs, swans, geese, other birds, flowers, many babies, and various other things. I then went looking for a milkshake in King’s Cross (at Bronwen’s request, who would have thought?) but was unable to find anywhere that sold both milkshakes and nachos, eventually finding a place miles away which apparently didn’t have a suitable “atmosphere”, but which did sell good nachos and milkshakes—and good they were, nearly forty dollars good.
7pm: • Brian and Judy had driven us to the airport, where we are now sitting on the plane while the staff attempt to locate two missing passengers, eventually having to find, and presumably incinerate, their luggage.
7:10pm: • Doors are closed, and we’re off towards Brisbane, on another Virgin 737-800, sitting in seats 9A and B.
7:35pm: • We arrive in Brisbane, where the time is again back to its correct self, an hour before where it has been, and are whisked off to Bronwen’s place for dinner and much-needed sleep.

30.11.2005 – Wednesday 30 November – Hot, Muggy, Shoes & Lethal Weapons

Morning: • I trained back to Joe’s, put some washing on, and got a lift with Tonya down to the shops to return my shoes. Uni results have been released. I’ve achieved two high distinctions (7) and two distinctions (6). I achieved the high distinctions in “Advanced Information Technology Project (CSSE3004)” and “Introduction to Logic (PHIL1020)”, as expected. The two distinctions were for my other two courses, “Introductory Philosophy (PHIL1000)” and “Introduction to Psychology: Physiological & Cognitive Psychology (PSYC1020)”, rather obviously. I’m not happy with this result for PHIL1000, but there’s very little I can do—the tutor didn’t like my writing style, and I wasn’t able to change it to match what he wanted given the time and the entirely fuzzy and subjective nature of the subject. PSYC1020 shifts the cut-off for a high distinction five percent higher than other courses, and has huge multi-choice exams, so I got what I was expecting for that. Given my almost complete lack of study or effort, I suppose I can’t really complain. That one can graduate with good results, without even trying, does say something about the degree though; I believe it should be a challenge to gain high marks, and an effort to actually pass, neither of which it was.
Evening: • I got a refund for my shoes, bought new shoes, hired out the first three “Lethal Weapon” movies and four other semi-random movies to make up seven for their special seven deal, and collapsed in front of a fan. It is very, very muggy.
Night: • I went and saw “Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride” at South Bank, something I probably shouldn’t have done, as I wasn’t really in the mood when I got there, but it seemed a good idea when I left here. It’s a bit too strange to really enjoy (marrying a corpse just isn’t romantic, no matter how you portray it), although the cinematic production and animation is nothing short of exquisite.
Comment by Mum – Thursday 1 December 2005, 10:05 PM: Congratualions. Will be lovely to see you soon. Dad and Sarah and I all very happy for you.
Comment by Ned – Friday 2 December 2005, 2:41 AM: Thanks ;-)
Comment by Tara (ratty) – Thursday 2 February 2006, 9:58 PM: You are such an interesting character. I've commented before that I've seen you ALL THE TIME at uni and know who you are and occasionally read your journal. We are often on the same late bus to the city at night, and get off at the same stop (Quay St). Freaky, no? I'm not a stalker, but just interested in the coincidences. Was also interested to see how you put together your results from past years. Incredibly anal and yet impressive, because I am no less anal myself... mmm. I am rambling but you're interesting. Hmm.
Comment by Ned – Friday 3 February 2006, 7:24 AM: Thanks, I think...

06.12.2005 – Tuesday 6 December – Uni, Airports, Gowns & Graduation Tickets

: • In the morning, after a bit of a sleep in, I drove from Amanda’s into uni, picking up my graduation tickets and checking that gown hire had actually hired me a gown. I then drove out to the airport, waited at the Sir Charles Kingsford Smith memorial for a while, and picked up Dad and Mum, dropping them back to Amanda’s where we all stayed the night.

12.12.2005 – Monday 12 December – Graduation

Morning: • I forgot a belt, so we left Amanda’s earlier than planned, arriving at Bronwen’s earlier than planned, and borrowed one of her father’s belts. From there, we drove out to uni, where I picked up my gown, hood and trencher and watched an instructional video detailing just how to wear them, including showing a woman placing the tassel on her trencher to the left side, from several different angles, just in case someone couldn’t fathom this complex procedure. Being early, we wandered around the union complex area for a while, before heading down to the UQ Centre. I found the “marshalling area”, sat in my prescribed numbered place in a row of many other penguin-looking graduands, and shuffled into exhibition hall. Once seated, we watched several ads for UQ—learning that it is one of the top three universities in Australia, and definitely where you should go if you want to be successful, good looking, or operate complex looking equipment in a biotechnology laboratory—before the university elite arrived, signalling the start of my graduation.
11am: • Various dignitaries said a few dignified words, and rows of graduands shuffled up onto stage, had their name announced, and were presented to the chancellor, who in turn presented them with an empty tube. They then shuffled around the back of the audience, collecting their official award certificate and then seating themselves again. Halfway through, Mark gave his valedictory speech, and shortly after I shuffled onto stage myself, had the degree of Bachelor of Information Technology with a major in Networks and Systems given under the common seal of the University of Queensland conferred upon me, received my empty tube, walked behind the audience, was given someone else’s degree, swapped this for my own, and returned to my seat, now a wise, learned graduate. Some eminent someone, whose name escapes me, spoke about giant shoulders for a while, and we all shuffled out, getting chaotically lost for a while, and eventually meeting up with our parent’s, loved ones, and various friends. I wandered around for a while chatting to other graduates, and having photos taken, before wandering around uni to take a few more photos.
Afternoon: • Dad, Mum, Bronwen and I walked down to GPS, took a few photos from upper level balconies, in a lab, and from the duck pond; walked back to the great court and took a few photos from there and the main university door outside Forgan Smith, and nearly died from heat exhaustion. I returned my crazy penguin gear (designed to ensure the occupant overheats in the shortest possible time, while being unable to move fast enough to get to an air-conditioned area), picked up my refund, and we all drove to South Bank, where we didn’t find anywhere to celebrate, and ended up at a nice café in Paddington instead, which made very filling nachos, as well as nasty pumpkin things that Mum and Bronwen seemed to like. I was impressed to find that my official academic transcript is printed on a polymer base, complete with see-through window, very similar to Australian banknotes.
Night: • Back at Amanda’s, Dad, Mum, Amanda and I argued about everything from the French Revolution and the relative scientificity of psychological paradigms through to present-day terrorism and the differences between American and Australian education, and I realised that I miss intelligent conversation—most of the conversations I have with people are really quite shallow, probably largely because of their age.
Comment by DM – Wednesday 14 December 2005, 2:03 AM:   Congrats Ned.

  Or should I say Ned (BInfTech)?
Comment by Ned – Wednesday 14 December 2005, 9:30 PM: Thanks ;-)
Comment by Lucas – Wednesday 14 December 2005, 10:32 PM: Congrats Ned! Do you feel a little reminiscent yet?
Comment by Ned – Thursday 15 December 2005, 12:51 PM: Thanks. I thought I would miss uni, or feel reminiscent, or something along those lines, but so far I haven’t felt any different—it just feels like I’m on holidays, the same as any other time. My life has been fairly busy though, the past couple of days are the first few I’ve actually had nothing much to do, and I suspect that I wouldn’t like that for too long—but I’ve got a lot of things coming up, so I should be busy again very soon.

20.12.2005 – Tuesday 20 December – Paying Bond

: • I ran around packing things, sorting through thousands of pieces of paper, throwing out lots of old rubbish and getting hay fever. I then caught a train into the city, had lunch at Govinda’s, and went to the bank to try to change a card access number only to find out that I no longer have enough identification to prove ownership of that account, despite having had more than enough when I set it up. A short train ride and a rather hot walk later and I was at the real estate with Bronwen, paying bond and forgetting my hat. We picked up the keys, walked back to the new place, and wandered around in it, thankful it was as good as we remembered in our hasty peruse the other day. The rest of the night was spent packing Bronwen’s things back at her place, and honing my hay fever in the resulting dust.

21.12.2005 – Wednesday 21 December – Moving In

Day: • Bronwen and I packed a full truckload of her stuff, slowly and inefficiently, into her Dad’s truck, and we dropped it down to the new place at Auchenflower. We then drove out to Joe’s, threw my stuff in the back any which way, carefully packing my computer in the back seat, and dropped that at the new place. It is big enough that even with stuff thrown all over the place and mostly still packed, it is neater than my room was when set out—not that my room was the neatest room around.
Night: • Bronwen’s Dad, herself and I borrowed a friend’s trailer, packed the large things into it, and dropped them off at the new place; surprisingly managing to get large things I thought would never fit through a small door and around a narrow passageway, through that small door and around that narrow passageway. Bronwen and I then spent our first night in our new place, which was rather hot and sultry (although no more so than anywhere else, apparently something to do with the earth going around the sun) and required the able assistance of a fan.
Comment by sef – Thursday 22 December 2005, 1:20 PM: What sort of fan? Please include pictures of fan.
Comment by Ned – Thursday 22 December 2005, 2:22 PM: Dimplex Turbo Tilt with Whirl Feature
Comment by Tom – Sunday 25 December 2005, 7:01 PM: Congrats to both of u ^^ and congrats on ur graduation.
I flew to HK right after my exam so i had to miss the grad ceremony of all those gradding this semester :'( I'll visit u guys when i get back ^^ and tell browen the new ipod sux >_< and that the anime is on the way >_< (i remember saying that last year...)
Comment by Ned – Monday 2 January 2006, 4:01 PM: Thanks, and consider her told!
Comment by B. – Tuesday 3 January 2006, 4:03 PM:   Hi Tom
  Told, translates into sending me URL link to this page. I think it is way of getting me to read himself's journal.
  I'm not really an ipod fan. The only Mac thing that is widely used and I don't go for it (perhaps I just like being different). But $300+ fashion accessories aren't my thing.
  More Naruto would be greatly appreciated, but don't feel hassled. Getting someone else to source and deliver anime to me is lazy even by my standards.
  But yes come visit.
Comment by Maz – Thursday 5 January 2006, 2:04 AM: B: I think, compared to ned sending you here to be 'told', having someone else deliver stuff is fine.
Ned: Good luck with the new place and if you need any help with internet sharing and stuff I'll be online.
Comment by Lisa – Thursday 5 January 2006, 7:54 AM: B: being the girlfriend of a nerd means that all information comes in weblinks. If he's going out tonight, he'll send you a weblink. You ask how his day was, he links you to his journal. Its just the way it is, its like the pony tail, comes as part of the package. I dont really mind it though
Comment by Ned – Thursday 5 January 2006, 8:55 AM:   Thanks Maz. Just waiting on ADSL at the moment.
  Lisa: I am not a nerd! I am not a geek! I am an artiste! Google knows!
  P.S. Ponytails are superior.
Comment by Lisa – Thursday 5 January 2006, 11:45 PM: You computer types are nerds. Don't take it as an insult. Remember our discussion on Maz's site about nerds being sexy now, which led to the whole geek points thing i think. And i dig the pony tail, I'm trying to grow mine too :P
Comment by io – Saturday 7 January 2006, 1:45 AM:   *shakes head slowly*

  It's no wonder I'm trying to escape into an Arts(Music/?) degree. :-p

  thei: How's Bronwen?

25.12.2005 – Sunday 25 December – Christmas & My Birthday

: • Bronwen and I walked to her parent’s place, where we helped set up for dinner, and later, once guests had arrived, played “smash and grab”. Smash and grab is a somewhat unusual take on present giving, where everyone brings an unnamed wrapped gift not worth more than some set value, twenty dollars in this case. People draw numbers from a hat, and the first person gets to choose and unwrap a present. The second person then has the option of either choosing and unwrapping another present, or smashing the first person over the head and stealing their present, and so on. If someone’s present is stolen, they can then choose themselves to either select a new present or steal someone else’s. It was quite a laugh.

26.12.2005 – Monday 26 December – Woodford

: • Bronwen’s parent’s and some friends come over for breakfast, later giving us a lift to Di’s, who gives us a lift to Woodford. Traffic was crawling nearly all the way there, so it turned out to be quite a slow lift. We were dropped off in a grassy camping area, setting up our tent and then making our way to the festival shop so I could attend a short training session. There we met Cat and Kat, Kat offering us camping at her camp. We nearly died carrying our esky and other gear to the new camping area, and that pretty much sums up the first afternoon at Woodford.

27.12.2005 – Tuesday 27 December – Cloud Nine

: • It is extremely hot and dusty, which is not doing anything good for my moving-induced hay fever, but everything other than that is wonderful. I enjoyed volunteering as a checkout chick, I enjoyed the spectacle that is Woodford, and it’s good to be out of the city, camping on a hill called “Cloud Nine”, along with hundreds of other volunteers.

28.12.2005 – Wednesday 28 December – That1Guy & his Magic Pipe

: • Bronwen and I went and saw, amongst many other things, “That1Guy” and his “Magic Pipe”. He is a one-man band with an “instrument” made from large metal irrigation pipe, around seven foot high, with an interesting twist at the top, and on this he plays an amazing synchronicity of rocking funk, forcing the audience to move by his sheer stage presence. I was immensely impressed.

29.12.2005 – Thursday 29 December – Amazing Woodford

: • We saw many things, including vaudeville acts, a circus, a twelve foot high Scotsman, ten-foot kangaroos, a very large and apparently out of control robot, a “Feetbus”—a bus carried by human feet, and innumerable stage acts, making for a satisfyingly exhaustive day.

30.12.2005 – Friday 30 December – Amazing Insanity

: • Woodford is crazy. One minute you’re watching Spanish flamenco, the next you’re wandering through dusty crowds, and then you’re witnessing a bus without wheels, carried entirely by its occupants, being boarded by fiddle-playing pirates—a scene directly out of an insane movie. Then, just around the corner, there’s a circus performing on the side of the road, and a little further, there’s a twenty-foot high dragon, spitting light and smoke. Then I wander down to the festival shop, and pretend I’m a checkout chick for four hours, after which I venture out into the amazing insanity once again.

31.12.2005 – Saturday 31 December – Hilltop Camping

Day: • Another amazing day of sensual overload, followed by an amazing night, surrounded by unrealistic creatures that waft through the night, made for another amazing Woodford experience.
2am: • We carried our mattresses up to the hilltop stage, where we slept the night surrounded by other crazy people doing the same. It is somehow nice, in a rather primal way, to sleep unprotected, surrounded by trusting humanity.

2000 | 2001 | 2002 | 2003 | 2004 | This Year (2005) 2006 | 2007 | 2008 |

Year View| Summary| 2005 (Year View – Showing Highlights Only)

Menu Ned Martin’s Journal — 2005 (Year View – Showing Highlights Only)

Year View| Summary| 2005 (Year View – Showing Highlights Only)

01.01.2005 – Saturday 1 January – The Year of Bronwen

04.01.2005 – Tuesday 4 January – Clint’s Birthday

07.01.2005 – Friday 7 January – Joneses & Unusual Contractions

10.01.2005 – Monday 10 January – Dentistically Woeful

14.01.2005 – Friday 14 January – El Dentista

21.01.2005 – Friday 21 January – Floods, Shock & Custard

22.01.2005 – Saturday 22 January – Familiarising

24.01.2005 – Monday 24 January – Drills, Geckos & Intellectualising

28.01.2005 – Friday 28 January – Cooktown to Brisbane

29.01.2005 – Saturday 29 January – Bronwenising

30.01.2005 – Sunday 30 January – Joe’s

09.02.2005 – Wednesday 9 February – Samuel

17.02.2005 – Thursday 17 February – Lecture Theatres, Mobile Phones & A Drastic Lack of Sleep

18.02.2005 – Friday 18 February – Stradbroke Island

28.02.2005 – Monday 28 February – Uni, Work & Sleep

05.03.2005 – Saturday 5 March – Kickboxing

25.03.2005 – Friday 25 March – Stradbroke

08.04.2005 – Friday 8 April – File Transfer Server-Clients & Excellent Tutoring

18.04.2005 – Monday 18 April – Networks Two Exam

23.04.2005 – Saturday 23 April – Introduction to Psychology: Developmental, Social, & Clinical Psychology Exam

24.04.2005 – Sunday 24 April – Mount Barney

27.04.2005 – Wednesday 27 April – Defying Death & Cheese Pizza

28.04.2005 – Thursday 28 April – Sick

16.05.2005 – Monday 16 May – Mt Coot-Tha

17.05.2005 – Tuesday 17 May – Prince Charles Hospital & Gay Mushrooms

08.06.2005 – Wednesday 8 June – Haunted Washing Machines

14.06.2005 – Tuesday 14 June – Advanced Information Technology Exam

15.06.2005 – Wednesday 15 June – Introduction to Psychology: Developmental, Social, & Clinical Psychology Exam

20.06.2005 – Monday 20 June – Web Information Systems Exam

23.06.2005 – Thursday 23 June – Networks II Exam

26.06.2005 – Sunday 26 June – Cairns & Home

27.06.2005 – Monday 27 June – Cooktown

11.07.2005 – Monday 11 July – Bronwen Heads Home

19.07.2005 – Tuesday 19 July – Silas & Cairns

20.07.2005 – Wednesday 20 July – Cairns, Silas, Darryl & Raymond

25.07.2005 – Monday 25 July – Uni, Spiegeltent & The Genes

27.08.2005 – Saturday 27 August – Introduction to Psychology: Physiological & Cognitive Psychology Exam

28.09.2005 – Wednesday 28 September – Cairns, Sun, Cars & Bikinis

01.10.2005 – Saturday 1 October – Philosophically Late & Revelling

04.10.2005 – Tuesday 4 October – Back to Cairns

05.10.2005 – Wednesday 5 October – Serenity, Cairns & Brisbane

14.10.2005 – Friday 14 October – Final Demonstration

26.10.2005 – Wednesday 26 October – Introductory Philosophy Exam

28.10.2005 – Friday 28 October – The last day of semester

11.11.2005 – Friday 11 November – Introduction to Psychology: Physiological & Cognitive Psychology Exam

12.11.2005 – Saturday 12 November – Introduction to Logic Exam

15.11.2005 – Tuesday 15 November – Terrorism & Sydney

16.11.2005 – Wednesday 16 November – Sydney, Bondi & Sculptures by the Sea

19.11.2005 – Saturday 19 November – Newcastle & A Birthday Doof

20.11.2005 – Sunday 20 November – Much Doof, Stolen Cars, Police & A Birthday

22.11.2005 – Tuesday 22 November – Birds, Babies & Brisbane

30.11.2005 – Wednesday 30 November – Hot, Muggy, Shoes & Lethal Weapons

06.12.2005 – Tuesday 6 December – Uni, Airports, Gowns & Graduation Tickets

12.12.2005 – Monday 12 December – Graduation

20.12.2005 – Tuesday 20 December – Paying Bond

21.12.2005 – Wednesday 21 December – Moving In

25.12.2005 – Sunday 25 December – Christmas & My Birthday

26.12.2005 – Monday 26 December – Woodford

27.12.2005 – Tuesday 27 December – Cloud Nine

28.12.2005 – Wednesday 28 December – That1Guy & his Magic Pipe

29.12.2005 – Thursday 29 December – Amazing Woodford

30.12.2005 – Friday 30 December – Amazing Insanity

31.12.2005 – Saturday 31 December – Hilltop Camping

Year View| Summary| 2005 (Year View – Showing Highlights Only)