Dear Dog,

I am so sorry about you being sent to the dog pound for the broken lamp, which you did not break; the fish tank you did not spill; and the carpet that you did not wet; or the wall that you did not dirty with red paint…

Things here at the house are calmer now, and just to show you that I have no hard feelings towards you, I am sending you a picture, so you will always remember me.

Best regards,

The Cat