101 Things You Do Not Want Your System Administrator to Say
- Uh-oh...
- Sh*t!
- What the hell?
- Go get your backup tape. (You do have a backup tape?)
- That’s SOOOOO bizarre.
- Wow! Look at this...
- Hey! The suns don’t do this.
- Terminated?
- What software license?
- Well, it’s doing something...
- Wow... that seemed fast...
- I got a better job at Lockheed...
- Management says...
- Sorry, the new equipment didn’t get budgeted.
- What do you mean that wasn’t a copy?
- It didn’t do that a minute ago...
- Where’s the GUI on this thing?
- Damn, and I just bought that pop...
- Where’s the DIR command?
- The drive ate the tape but that’s OK, I brought my screwdriver.
- I cleaned up the root partition and now there’s lots of free space.
- What’s this “any” key I’m supposed to press?
- Do you smell something?
- What’s that grinding sound?
- I have never seen it do that before...
- I think it should not be doing that...
- I remember the last time I saw it do that...
- You might as well all go home early today...
- My leave starts tomorrow.
- Ooops.
- Hmm, maybe if I do this...
- “Why is my “rm *.o” taking so long?”
- Hmmm, curious...
- Well, my files were backed up.
- What do you mean you needed that directory?
- What do you mean /home was on that disk? I umounted it!
- Do you really need your home directory to do any work?
- Oracle will be down until 8pm, but you can come back in and finish your work when it comes up tonight.
- I didn’t think anybody would be doing any work at 2am, so I killed your job.
- Yes, I chowned all the files to belong to pvcs. Is that a problem to you?
- We’re standardizing on AIX.
- Wonder what this command does?
- What did you say your (l)user name was...? ;-)
- You did what to the floppy???
- Sorry, we deleted that package last week...
- NO! Not that button!
- Uh huh... “nu -k $USER”.. No problem...sure thing...
- Sorry, we deleted that package last week...
- [looks at workstation] “Say, what version of DOS is this running?”
- Oops! (said in a quiet, almost surprised voice)
- YEEEHA!!! What a CRASH!!!
- What do you mean that could take down the whole network?
- What’s this switch for anyways...?
- Tell me again what that ‘-r’ option to rm does
- Say, what does “Superblock Error” mean, anyhow?
- If I knew it wasn’t going to work, I would have tested it sooner.
- Was that your directory?
- System coming down in 0 min....
- The backup procedure works fine, but the restore is tricky!
- Hey Fred, did you save that posting about restoring filesystems with vi and a toothpick? More importantly, did you print it out?
- OH, SH*T! (as they scrabble at the keyboard for ^c).
- The sprinkler system isn’t supposed to leak is it?
- It is only a minor upgrade, the system should be back up in a few hours. (This is said on a Monday afternoon.)
- I think we can plug just one more thing in to this outlet strip without tripping the breaker.
- What is all this I hear about static charges destroying computers?
- I found this rabbit program that is supposed to test system performance and I have it running now.
- Ummm... Didn’t you say you turned it off?
- The network’s down, but we’re working on it. Come back after dinner. (Usually said at 2200 the night before thesis deadline...)
- Ooops. Save your work, everyone. FAST!
- Boy, it’s a lot easier when you know what you’re doing.
- I hate it when that happens.
- And what does it mean ‘rm: .o: No such file or directory’?
- Why did it say ‘/bin/rm: not found’?
- Nobody was using that file /vmunix, were they?
- You can do this patch with the system up...
- What happens to a Hard Disk when you drop it?
- The only copy of Norton Utilities was on THAT disk?
- Well, I’ve got a backup, but the only copy of the restore program was on THAT disk....
- What do mean by “fired”?
- Hey, what does mkfs do?
- OK, let’s set cron to clear out the user’s home directories every night...
- Where did you say those backup tapes were kept?
- ...and if we just swap these two disc controllers like this...
- Don’t do that, it’ll crash the sys... SH*T
- What’s this hash prompt on my terminal mean?
- dd if=/dev/null of=/vmunix
- find /usr2 -name nethack -exec rm -f {}
- Now it’s funny you should ask that, because I don’t know either
- Any more trouble from you and your account gets moved to the 750
- Ooohh, lovely, it runs SVR4
- SMIT makes it all so much easier...
- Can you get VMS for this Sparc thingy?
- I don’t care what he says, I’m not having it on my network
- We don’t support that. We won’t support that.
- ...and after I patched the microcode...
- You’ve got TECO. What more do you want?
- We prefer not to change the root password, it’s an nice easy one
- Just add yourself to the password file and make a directory...
- Next week we’re ditching these UNIX machines and moving to Windows NT. Now won’t that be exciting?
- I don’t care if your machine’s crashed! I just lost another life!
- When I were a lad I’d have given an arm and a leg for that much filestore.
See also: I’m not worried about this Bird Flu… (Bird Flu)