Fifteen things to do at the supermarket while your spouse is taking their sweet time
- Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they aren’t looking.
- Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
- Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
- Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, ‘Code 3’ in house wares... and see what happens.
- Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.
- Move a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
- Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you’ll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
- When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’
- Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
- While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
- Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from “Mission Impossible”.
- In the auto department, practice your “Madonna look” using different size funnels.
- Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say “PICK ME!” “PICK ME!”
- When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the foetal position and scream “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!”
- Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly “There is no toilet paper in here”