Fifteen things to do at the supermarket while your spouse is taking their sweet time

  1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they aren’t looking.
  2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
  3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
  4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, ‘Code 3’ in house wares... and see what happens.
  5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.
  6. Move a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
  7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you’ll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
  8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’
  9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
  10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
  11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from “Mission Impossible”.
  12. In the auto department, practice your “Madonna look” using different size funnels.
  13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say “PICK ME!” “PICK ME!”
  14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the foetal position and scream “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!”
  15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly “There is no toilet paper in here”

See also: 100 Guidelines on Becoming an Evil Villain (Villain Howto)

+ There are 3 comments on this page.- There are 3 comments on this page.

Hajime - Monday 17 January 2005, 5:09 AM
Get rid of the focking background/wallpaper on these webpages!
Ned - Monday 17 January 2005, 3:48 PM
It is a bit annoying isn’t it? But... it’s also quite cool and I can’t think of any other way to incorporate it into my page design.
Loras - Sunday 22 May 2005, 9:57 PM
the background makes my Explorer flinch and my mouse pointer won't show up. So I just blocked the background image, Hajime. It looked cool though....
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